° One More Medicated Peaceful Moment, JunSeung
One More Medicated Peaceful Moment (6/?)
BEAST ° JunSeung, one-sided DooSeung
pg13 ° au ° 1984words, 12275total ° not mine, not even a little bit
if you spend your days longing for things you can never have, you'll miss the ones you can
an: i hope i don't disappoint anyone with this. you all have amazing theories. :)
previous chapters: 01 02 03 04 05
The next time Hyunseung sees Junhyung, the following afternoon, Junhyung is all unsettling grins and wandering hands, but Hyunseung realizes that it's not really much different than it already was. Junhyung doesn't try to kiss him again, but they're only passing in the hallway so there isn't much time for him to attempt anything, and for that, Hyunseung is glad. He's not sure how he should be reacting, or what he should say. And Junhyung isn't exactly open to explaining what's going on, either.
It isn't until Doojoon returns home later that night that Hyunseung realizes that Junhyung's display was some sort of ploy to piss Doojoon off. That's not fair, he thinks. All it's going to do is push Doojoon further away from him.
He waits until Doojoon is almost to his bedroom before he tries to talk to him.
"Doojoon?" Hyunseung's voice carries from his position on the couch, across the hallway to Doojoon's room, where the older man is stopped.
"Yeah?"
"Are you mad at me?"
Doojoon turns around completely to face him, offering a small but genuine smile in response. "No. Of course not. Why would I be?"
When Hyunseung merely shrugs his shoulder, no more than a slight movement that anyone else would miss, Doojoon doesn't hesitate before moving back into the living room and sitting on the couch beside him. "You're my best friend, right?" He's prompted to continue by a short nod from the other. "And I tell you all about my boyfriend, right?" Another short, though more hesitant, nod. "I'm not mad that you didn't tell me about Junhyung. Just... disappointed that you couldn't trust me, I guess."
"There's nothing to tell." The response is simple enough, and Hyunseung's voice is low out of embarrassment. "I told you before. There's nothing going on."
Doojoon sighs, trying not to let his frustration show. "I saw you with him."
"I'm over there a lot. It's only natural that you would see me with him once in a while."
"No, I mean," Doojoon pauses, though he's not totally sure why. "He kissed you. Right in front of me."
"You're one to talk," Hyunseung mutters, fixing his eyes on the blank TV screen. Arguing that Junhyung did it on his own is useless. Doojoon isn't going to listen anymore.
"What?"
"Did I ever say anything to you? When you were bringing new people home every other night, did I ever once say anything to you about it?"
Doojoon is quiet as he looks the other over. Hyunseung is fidgeting again.
"I didn't know you had a problem with it."
"I don't," Hyunseung replies quickly, though he's still not meeting his best friend's eyes. "Why would I? Isn't that what guys are supposed to do? Sleep around and brag about it?"
"Then why are you bringing it up now?"
"Because you're acting like someone kissing me is some sort of crime. Is it that hard to imagine?"
"You're different."
"I'm different? How? What makes me so different that I can't experience something like that without my roommate getting up in arms about it?"
"Because you're... you," Doojoon tries to explain, moving to stand from the couch. His voice is raising and he doesn't like yelling at the other. "I don't know, okay?" Hyunseung is looking at him now, but he wishes the other would go back to avoiding his gaze. The hurt and confusion his best friend is showing him now is far worse. "It's just... not how it's supposed to be."
"How is it supposed to be?" Hyunseung asks once he can find his voice. When Doojoon can't answer him, and won't look at him, he moves to stand from the couch, as well. "If I'm not supposed to be with anyone, then am I supposed to be alone? Just stay like this? Should I just sit in my room, waiting for your permission to do something with my life? You said it yourself. In all the time I've lived here, I've been on one date."
"And it didn't work out."
"So? What if it had?" When Doojoon scoffs and shakes his head, Hyunseung can barely control himself from just screaming at him. "Unless you knew it wouldn't work out-" he starts, and when Doojoon raises an eyebrow, a tell-tale sign that he was spot-on, he can't resist the urge to take a step closer to the other. "You knew," he states and Doojoon finally raises his gaze to meet his. "You set me up with her on purpose."
"I didn't want you to be alone," Doojoon starts, his voice raising again in his defense. "But I didn't want you with anyone, either."
"That doesn't make sense!" Hyunseung yells, finally allowing his control to break. "You can't have it both ways! And who are you to dictate my relationships, anyway?"
"You weren't with anyone before you met me, either," Doojoon reminds him, the volume of his words raising to meet his roommate's. "Don't pretend like this is a devastating development."
Hyunseung simply stares at the other. He's at a loss for words and reactions, and doesn't even know what to think about it. He steps back and away from him again, moving around the couch and toward his own room. If nothing else, he can lock himself away until they're both calm enough to behave like the adults that they are.
"Seung..." Doojoon starts, moving to follow him. "I'm sorry."
"You're not," Hyunseung replies as he looks back at him. "You meant every word. Don't pretend like you didn't. It's how you feel. It's not my place to tell you how to feel."
"It's not like that."
"It is like that," Hyunseung corrects. "You don't want me to be with anyone. You want me to be alone but not feel alone. I don't know why you think that way, but you do. You don't need to say anything else. I'm not going to force an explanation out of you." When Doojoon remains silent, Hyunseung offers him a small smile. "Don't worry, okay? Nothing is going to change. I'll still wait for you." His hand moves to his mouth quickly, surprised that he let something like that slip.
"What-?" Doojoon starts, but is interrupted by a loud knock on the front door.
Hyunseung moves around him quickly, narrowly avoiding Doojoon's hand when the other reaches out to stop him. He opens the door as fast as he can, allowing his hand to fall away from his face as soon as he sees Yoseob standing there.
"Hey!" their guest greets them brightly, glancing over Hyunseung's shoulder and meeting Doojoon's eyes for a moment before reaching in and taking Hyunseung by the wrist. "We heard yelling," he explains, trying to pull him through the doorway.
"We?"
"Thought you might need a rescue," Yoseob continues as he leads Hyunseung into the hallway.
"I don't underst-" Hyunseung starts, but is cut off by Doojoon calling his name.
Yoseob speeds up his steps, and Hyunseung realizes after a moment that Junhyung's apartment door is open and his neighbor is leaning on the doorway, his arms folded over his chest as he watches them. His expressionless face explains nothing, even as Yoseob leads Hyunseung past him and through the door. Hyunseung doesn't have to see it to know that Junhyung has followed them and when the door slams, he knows Doojoon was probably right on the other side already. His suspicions are confirmed when he hears a loud slam on the door followed by his roommate calling his name again. Doojoon gives up quickly, and it's another ten seconds before Hyunseung hears the door to their shared apartment slam, as well.
This feels awkward, Hyunseung thinks as he watches Junhyung move silently through the living room and into the kitchen.
"I'm sorry," Hyunseung mutters to Yoseob, who offers him a smile and leads him over to the couch to sit down. "I didn't know you guys were over here. I would have kept it down."
"Just shut up," Junhyung says as he moves back into the room and sets a glass of water down in front of his neighbor. "You don't need excuses."
Hyunseung almost jumps when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulls it out quickly, silently glad that something's distracted the room so he wouldn't have to respond to Junhyung. He stares at the screen for a long time, long enough for Yoseob to drape himself over the back of the couch to see who it is.
"Doojoon," Yoseob reads off the display.
Junhyung grips the phone, twisting it from Hyunseung's hand before tossing it into one of the armchairs. Hyunseung moves to stand, but Yoseob's hand on his shoulder stops him.
"Ignore it," Junhyung instructs as he nudges Hyunseung's glass of water aside so he can sit on the table in front of his neighbor.
"He's just going to tell you to go over there," Yoseob offers with a nod. He's smiling, but even that isn't enough to balance out the indifferent look Junhyung is presenting.
"I... said something," Hyunseung tells them. His eyes are closed, hands picking at each other in his lap. "It slipped. I said-"
"It doesn't matter," Junhyung's voice cuts him off. "Don't think that we missed much of what he said to you, either."
The three of them remain silent until Hyunseung's ringtone goes off again. Hyunseung doesn't move, mostly because Junhyung is sitting right in front of him, but Yoseob leaps into the armchair and grabs it. He glances at the display before answering it. "Hello~ Hyunseung's phone~" he greets as he jumps back out of the chair and makes his way into the kitchen. "Doojoon! How have you been?"
Hyunseung drowns out the sound of the stolen conversation, concentrating instead on his hands, which he's trying to make stop fidgeting. They only stop when he feels Junhyung's own wrap around them.
"How can he be your best friend?" Junhyung's voice is low, a tone Hyunseung has never heard from him before.
"He wasn't always like that," Hyunseung explains.
"Yeah. I'm sure he was a perfect gentleman."
"I swear. This isn't him."
"Don't defend him," Junhyung mutters. "Not after all of that. Friends don't do that to each other."
"Oh, it was all in good fun!" Yoseob's voice sounds from the next room.
"He just openly admitted to screwing with you," Junhyung continues, not cutting his eyes from the other. "If I ever hear him say anything like that again..."
The sound of Yoseob's laughter fills the apartment, but neither of them are paying attention.
"Promise me that you won't put up with this anymore," Junhyung insists, tightening his hold on the other's hands.
"I can't. I live with him. And you know how I feel."
"Just stop," Junhyung hisses, pulling at his hands to try to get him to look up. "He's not worth all of this."
"You don't understand."
"I don't have to understand."
"Then why don't you stop?" Hyunseung asks, his gaze finally raising to meet the other's.
Junhyung is silent for a brief moment and the only sound in the apartment is Yoseob's voice carrying from the kitchen. Not the ideal backdrop for a serious conversation, but at least he's distracted. "I can't," Junhyung replies after the silence between them has gone on long enough. He leans closer, gripping the other's hands so tight that Hyunseung winces. He presses his lips to the older man's for a fraction of a second, but doesn't pull back. "I can't," he repeats before kissing him again.
"Wait," Hyunseung mutters against the other's mouth, trying to twist his hands out of Junhyung's grip, but he just holds on tighter.
"Do you understand?" Junhyung asks, his voice so low that Hyunseung can hardly hear it.
"No," Hyunseung admits as he feels himself leaning into the other.
"You will," Junhyung assures him, his mouth turning up in a grin. "And he will, too."
BEAST ° JunSeung, one-sided DooSeung
pg13 ° au ° 1984words, 12275total ° not mine, not even a little bit
if you spend your days longing for things you can never have, you'll miss the ones you can
an: i hope i don't disappoint anyone with this. you all have amazing theories. :)
previous chapters: 01 02 03 04 05
The next time Hyunseung sees Junhyung, the following afternoon, Junhyung is all unsettling grins and wandering hands, but Hyunseung realizes that it's not really much different than it already was. Junhyung doesn't try to kiss him again, but they're only passing in the hallway so there isn't much time for him to attempt anything, and for that, Hyunseung is glad. He's not sure how he should be reacting, or what he should say. And Junhyung isn't exactly open to explaining what's going on, either.
It isn't until Doojoon returns home later that night that Hyunseung realizes that Junhyung's display was some sort of ploy to piss Doojoon off. That's not fair, he thinks. All it's going to do is push Doojoon further away from him.
He waits until Doojoon is almost to his bedroom before he tries to talk to him.
"Doojoon?" Hyunseung's voice carries from his position on the couch, across the hallway to Doojoon's room, where the older man is stopped.
"Yeah?"
"Are you mad at me?"
Doojoon turns around completely to face him, offering a small but genuine smile in response. "No. Of course not. Why would I be?"
When Hyunseung merely shrugs his shoulder, no more than a slight movement that anyone else would miss, Doojoon doesn't hesitate before moving back into the living room and sitting on the couch beside him. "You're my best friend, right?" He's prompted to continue by a short nod from the other. "And I tell you all about my boyfriend, right?" Another short, though more hesitant, nod. "I'm not mad that you didn't tell me about Junhyung. Just... disappointed that you couldn't trust me, I guess."
"There's nothing to tell." The response is simple enough, and Hyunseung's voice is low out of embarrassment. "I told you before. There's nothing going on."
Doojoon sighs, trying not to let his frustration show. "I saw you with him."
"I'm over there a lot. It's only natural that you would see me with him once in a while."
"No, I mean," Doojoon pauses, though he's not totally sure why. "He kissed you. Right in front of me."
"You're one to talk," Hyunseung mutters, fixing his eyes on the blank TV screen. Arguing that Junhyung did it on his own is useless. Doojoon isn't going to listen anymore.
"What?"
"Did I ever say anything to you? When you were bringing new people home every other night, did I ever once say anything to you about it?"
Doojoon is quiet as he looks the other over. Hyunseung is fidgeting again.
"I didn't know you had a problem with it."
"I don't," Hyunseung replies quickly, though he's still not meeting his best friend's eyes. "Why would I? Isn't that what guys are supposed to do? Sleep around and brag about it?"
"Then why are you bringing it up now?"
"Because you're acting like someone kissing me is some sort of crime. Is it that hard to imagine?"
"You're different."
"I'm different? How? What makes me so different that I can't experience something like that without my roommate getting up in arms about it?"
"Because you're... you," Doojoon tries to explain, moving to stand from the couch. His voice is raising and he doesn't like yelling at the other. "I don't know, okay?" Hyunseung is looking at him now, but he wishes the other would go back to avoiding his gaze. The hurt and confusion his best friend is showing him now is far worse. "It's just... not how it's supposed to be."
"How is it supposed to be?" Hyunseung asks once he can find his voice. When Doojoon can't answer him, and won't look at him, he moves to stand from the couch, as well. "If I'm not supposed to be with anyone, then am I supposed to be alone? Just stay like this? Should I just sit in my room, waiting for your permission to do something with my life? You said it yourself. In all the time I've lived here, I've been on one date."
"And it didn't work out."
"So? What if it had?" When Doojoon scoffs and shakes his head, Hyunseung can barely control himself from just screaming at him. "Unless you knew it wouldn't work out-" he starts, and when Doojoon raises an eyebrow, a tell-tale sign that he was spot-on, he can't resist the urge to take a step closer to the other. "You knew," he states and Doojoon finally raises his gaze to meet his. "You set me up with her on purpose."
"I didn't want you to be alone," Doojoon starts, his voice raising again in his defense. "But I didn't want you with anyone, either."
"That doesn't make sense!" Hyunseung yells, finally allowing his control to break. "You can't have it both ways! And who are you to dictate my relationships, anyway?"
"You weren't with anyone before you met me, either," Doojoon reminds him, the volume of his words raising to meet his roommate's. "Don't pretend like this is a devastating development."
Hyunseung simply stares at the other. He's at a loss for words and reactions, and doesn't even know what to think about it. He steps back and away from him again, moving around the couch and toward his own room. If nothing else, he can lock himself away until they're both calm enough to behave like the adults that they are.
"Seung..." Doojoon starts, moving to follow him. "I'm sorry."
"You're not," Hyunseung replies as he looks back at him. "You meant every word. Don't pretend like you didn't. It's how you feel. It's not my place to tell you how to feel."
"It's not like that."
"It is like that," Hyunseung corrects. "You don't want me to be with anyone. You want me to be alone but not feel alone. I don't know why you think that way, but you do. You don't need to say anything else. I'm not going to force an explanation out of you." When Doojoon remains silent, Hyunseung offers him a small smile. "Don't worry, okay? Nothing is going to change. I'll still wait for you." His hand moves to his mouth quickly, surprised that he let something like that slip.
"What-?" Doojoon starts, but is interrupted by a loud knock on the front door.
Hyunseung moves around him quickly, narrowly avoiding Doojoon's hand when the other reaches out to stop him. He opens the door as fast as he can, allowing his hand to fall away from his face as soon as he sees Yoseob standing there.
"Hey!" their guest greets them brightly, glancing over Hyunseung's shoulder and meeting Doojoon's eyes for a moment before reaching in and taking Hyunseung by the wrist. "We heard yelling," he explains, trying to pull him through the doorway.
"We?"
"Thought you might need a rescue," Yoseob continues as he leads Hyunseung into the hallway.
"I don't underst-" Hyunseung starts, but is cut off by Doojoon calling his name.
Yoseob speeds up his steps, and Hyunseung realizes after a moment that Junhyung's apartment door is open and his neighbor is leaning on the doorway, his arms folded over his chest as he watches them. His expressionless face explains nothing, even as Yoseob leads Hyunseung past him and through the door. Hyunseung doesn't have to see it to know that Junhyung has followed them and when the door slams, he knows Doojoon was probably right on the other side already. His suspicions are confirmed when he hears a loud slam on the door followed by his roommate calling his name again. Doojoon gives up quickly, and it's another ten seconds before Hyunseung hears the door to their shared apartment slam, as well.
This feels awkward, Hyunseung thinks as he watches Junhyung move silently through the living room and into the kitchen.
"I'm sorry," Hyunseung mutters to Yoseob, who offers him a smile and leads him over to the couch to sit down. "I didn't know you guys were over here. I would have kept it down."
"Just shut up," Junhyung says as he moves back into the room and sets a glass of water down in front of his neighbor. "You don't need excuses."
Hyunseung almost jumps when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulls it out quickly, silently glad that something's distracted the room so he wouldn't have to respond to Junhyung. He stares at the screen for a long time, long enough for Yoseob to drape himself over the back of the couch to see who it is.
"Doojoon," Yoseob reads off the display.
Junhyung grips the phone, twisting it from Hyunseung's hand before tossing it into one of the armchairs. Hyunseung moves to stand, but Yoseob's hand on his shoulder stops him.
"Ignore it," Junhyung instructs as he nudges Hyunseung's glass of water aside so he can sit on the table in front of his neighbor.
"He's just going to tell you to go over there," Yoseob offers with a nod. He's smiling, but even that isn't enough to balance out the indifferent look Junhyung is presenting.
"I... said something," Hyunseung tells them. His eyes are closed, hands picking at each other in his lap. "It slipped. I said-"
"It doesn't matter," Junhyung's voice cuts him off. "Don't think that we missed much of what he said to you, either."
The three of them remain silent until Hyunseung's ringtone goes off again. Hyunseung doesn't move, mostly because Junhyung is sitting right in front of him, but Yoseob leaps into the armchair and grabs it. He glances at the display before answering it. "Hello~ Hyunseung's phone~" he greets as he jumps back out of the chair and makes his way into the kitchen. "Doojoon! How have you been?"
Hyunseung drowns out the sound of the stolen conversation, concentrating instead on his hands, which he's trying to make stop fidgeting. They only stop when he feels Junhyung's own wrap around them.
"How can he be your best friend?" Junhyung's voice is low, a tone Hyunseung has never heard from him before.
"He wasn't always like that," Hyunseung explains.
"Yeah. I'm sure he was a perfect gentleman."
"I swear. This isn't him."
"Don't defend him," Junhyung mutters. "Not after all of that. Friends don't do that to each other."
"Oh, it was all in good fun!" Yoseob's voice sounds from the next room.
"He just openly admitted to screwing with you," Junhyung continues, not cutting his eyes from the other. "If I ever hear him say anything like that again..."
The sound of Yoseob's laughter fills the apartment, but neither of them are paying attention.
"Promise me that you won't put up with this anymore," Junhyung insists, tightening his hold on the other's hands.
"I can't. I live with him. And you know how I feel."
"Just stop," Junhyung hisses, pulling at his hands to try to get him to look up. "He's not worth all of this."
"You don't understand."
"I don't have to understand."
"Then why don't you stop?" Hyunseung asks, his gaze finally raising to meet the other's.
Junhyung is silent for a brief moment and the only sound in the apartment is Yoseob's voice carrying from the kitchen. Not the ideal backdrop for a serious conversation, but at least he's distracted. "I can't," Junhyung replies after the silence between them has gone on long enough. He leans closer, gripping the other's hands so tight that Hyunseung winces. He presses his lips to the older man's for a fraction of a second, but doesn't pull back. "I can't," he repeats before kissing him again.
"Wait," Hyunseung mutters against the other's mouth, trying to twist his hands out of Junhyung's grip, but he just holds on tighter.
"Do you understand?" Junhyung asks, his voice so low that Hyunseung can hardly hear it.
"No," Hyunseung admits as he feels himself leaning into the other.
"You will," Junhyung assures him, his mouth turning up in a grin. "And he will, too."