i can't really say that he stopped loving me. I know that he still does, but i don't know. it just hurts. i hurt. my heart hurts so bad. but i don't understand why. this is what i want. i'm really satisfied with what we are... or aren't. i mean if i had the chance to be with him again, i would. but i don't. and i won't go looking for that to happen ( Read more... )

Tyler - - These are my feelings. judge them as you will, and intrepret them how ever you want to. i can't stop you, any more than you can stop me. But I'm going to let you know just how you made me feel. Because if I don't, you'll never know, and that could be much more dangerous. So here it is, my open heart, bleeding before you ( Read more... )

It's totally ironice how things turn out ( Read more... )

i needed this weekend. really bad. now i know all the things i just couldn't bring my self to realise before. and now that he knows that i know everything he tried to hide, he's running from me. he won't answer my calls, and everytime he gets on line and sees that i'm online, he gets off really fast. last night i didn't know what else to do. it's ( Read more... )

i'm going to stop with this scherade. i'm going to pull myself out of this and turn my shit around. i'll get my work in and done on time, and i'll bring all of my grades up. i'm going to slow the fuck down. i cna't keep going a hundred miles an hour any more. i'm fineally cracking. i'm done being like this. it's time tha ti do something about it ( Read more... )

sleep sounds great, but i have tons of home work. and yet, i sit here talking to him all night long.

I'm running on less than 3 hours of sleep. I woked for 4.5 hours already this after noon, and another at least 4.5 tonight. I'm worn out. Just pain worn out. I want to stop. I don't want to get up and go to work or school ever again. I want to just sleep. Forever. I want to die. I've been running on empty for weeks now. When will I fineally stop? ( Read more... )

I never realised what that ment, untill today. Bryan. He got in an accident. He rolled his car. But he's ok. Physically. Mentally, I don't think he'll be ok for a long time. I am so scared. I just keep thinking that it could have been so much worse. And what if it had been? What would I have done? How would I have reacted? What would I have said? I ( Read more... )

I found a poem that I wrote a long time ago freshman year. I like it. A lot.
Hearing you heart beat would be wonderful ( Read more... )

I'm so emotionally and physcially drained that it's not even funny ( Read more... )