I want this to happen so unbelieveably bad. I want us to happen. I'm so tired of these stupid games. I'm tired of waking up every morning thinking of him, and going through every day thinking of him, and falling asleep every night thinking of him. I'm tired of missing him. I'm tired of telling him how much I love him. And I'm just so damn tired. ( Read more... )

....I want us to be something that we'll probably never be ( Read more... )

Theres a show at Bonzai tonight. Everyone will be there. It'll be great. this is what i need. I need a show to take me back to the place where I came from. I need to get back into the scene. I need my friends back. Tonight'll be great.

Ty's mad at me for some reason. I think that it's because my messenger name is "It was a slap in the face, how quickly I was replaced. Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?" Will said that it's very emotional. What can I say? I'm emotional. And no matter if we're fighting or not, I'm still overly pissed at him for all thats happened. I'm hurt, ( Read more... )

Last night, tyler did call me. And we hung out at my house for a little while. I didn't want him to go. I want him to stay here with me forever. So we can be together and be happy. But I think thats a goal too far out of my reach. But maybe not ( Read more... )

Oh, god. This is ironic. When me and Ty went to the zoo, we wnet with Brandon Gish, and his girlfriend Kayleigh. Well, I guess when they got home, she got mad at him, and it was because he wasn't paying enough attention to her. Funny huh? I certainly think so ( Read more... )

I feel so good about last night. Even though he got mad at me about the stupidest shit ever, we of course found some way to get around that. Just like always. Something was different. It was perfect. We talked. And I mean really talked. And not about us. We laughed and flirted, and touched, and kissed. He tickled me, and I gave him massages. We ( Read more... )

i faintly remember breathing
on your bedroom floor
where I laid and
told you
but you swore
you loved me more.
I'm freaking out, I have an ultasound, and pregnancy test in like an hour and a half. And  he's no where around so i can tell him all that I'm scared of. I don't want to do this. Not at all. Fuck. I knew there was a reason that I didn't ( Read more... )

I'm not ok. I know I'll never really be ok. But I dont' know what else to do. Just sit here and try as hard as I can to forget him. I'll try to forget all of the things that happened. I'll try to forget the feelings. But it'll take time. Thats all I need is time. I also need someone else in my life. I need someone who won't bring all these feelings ( Read more... )

i'll get better. I have to. I always do. I just wish that I would pick up the pace with this getting better shit. I don't wnat to be like this any more.

God damn it. I hate this. Ugh