Excerpts from emails my roommate has sent me:

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if i ever get a cat, i'm naming it katamari damaci (or however you f'ing spell it)

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i was going to head there this morning, because i got ready way too quickly, but then my face starting hemorrhaging, and i thought i better deal with that before heading anywhere.

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p.s. i'm ( Read more... )

( Don't FUCKING click on this. )

The other night I woke up at 2am and started puking. I slept on the couch, got up at seven, and puked some more.

I got this free tofurkey today (uh, free because it's expired). I'm cooking it up right now, and I'm pretty much just trying not to ruin it. Who knew you had to baste FAKE turkey?!

I went off-roading for the first time whilst in Connecticut. I may have shit my pants. No. I take that back. I definitely shit my pants.

Things on my bitch list:

1. Showering. The vagina is a self cleaning organ; what the hell is wrong with the rest of my body? Come on, guys. Va jay jay is putting you to shame, and I'm really getting sick of having to disrobe in this cold as balls apartment.

2. Happiness, the movie. Okay, so I don't think I gave this a fair shake. I'm ill ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

I HATE INTERFACING WITH PEOPLE.

My roommate bought a cookbook called How It All Vegan. At the time, we really didn't get the title; we took turns making statements along the lines of, "How It All Vee-gihn?! What the fuck?"

It hit me quite suddenly about 2 hours later. And then, I punched my roommate in the face and screamed, "YOU'RE A MORON." She did not like it.

I forgot to mention that the other day I skipped out of an extra volunteering shift that I usually cover (but am never really expected to), and that very same day the Dr. Bronner (www.drbronner.com) came in and gave $20 to each person volunteering.