So I'm getting pretty sick of lies and broken promises. My heart can only take so much. But I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to run away. But that will never solve anything. Will I ever truly be happy? That is the final question. I know life will never be easy; that it's filled with ups and downs. But those who love you shouldn't bring ( Read more... )

It amazes me to see a person I grew up with taken away from this life so young. Yes he did live life to the fullest but still it hurt inside to know that you will never see him until you too pass on. It makes you rethink life. How you life everyday and take everything for granted. Gosh it hurts to know that it only takes one second for your life to ( Read more... )

I reach out and feel myself fall.
There is a crowd but no one to call.
The pain, the hurt, all buried inside.
I want to dig a giant deep hole and crawl to the back.
Who will care, who would know?
Feel so dumb, feel so naive.
If only I had listened to the voice within.
But it was blocked, canceled, long gone.
Who would've known I'd end up all alone?

This really makes no sense but it came out. Please just read it and tell me what you think of it. I love you all ( Read more... )

That poem I wrote in the last entry was pretty deep. I didn't realize that until I just read it right now. It's actually good. LOL! Well school has started again and I'm loving every minute of it. I actually feel really smart when I'm sitting in class. I know a lot of what the teachers are talking about and it makes me feel good. But hey it's just ( Read more... )

I haven't wrote a poem in a while...the words just came and I wrote them. Here it goes ( Read more... )

So we had the conversation. And it was easier that I thought. I was finally honest with all my feelings. And it went well. I don't think I'm be the way I was before. I know understand that it's nothing anymore. I'm happy with that. We have a Christmas tree! It's so ghetto but I love it! It's got oraments, lights, and a tree toper. It's beautiful! I ( Read more... )

I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore. I feel like I'm living a lie half the time. I mean I'm the most honest person you will meet but I've been holding in so many things that I don't know how much longer I can take it. It's going to be over. I can feel that. I can't take it anymore. It hurts and I'm sick of hurting. I have so much love and I do so ( Read more... )

I think he finally learned his lesson. I wasn't sure at first but I'm thinking he understands he has to grow up. I haven't been that scared in a very long time. Sure I've felt fear and wasn't sure the outcome of the situation but this time it was different. I don't know what I would've done if we didn't go home together. I'm happy he sees that. His ( Read more... )

I don't know what to do anymore. I try and try and I loose every time. I'm leaving tomorrow. What if I never come back? It would make life so much more easy. But my life has never been easy. Life isn't easy. Life sucks. But then you look back and think wow why did I feel that way at that moment. I can't wait till I can look back at this moment and ( Read more... )