I went running at the beach this morning ( Read more... )

Well last night I thought was one of the best nights I'd had in ages.

But now- just now- it all becomes really clear to me.
And it turns out last night was nothing really at all.
It wasn't really fair, as it wasn't really right, and now I'm left here heartbroken in the wake of "just friends" excuse.

So this is my stand. This is my question: Did you ( Read more... )

RANT UNDER CUT

I don't know what I want!
I don't know AT ALL.

Well I do- I want these feelings to fucking go away.
I want to NOT CARE.
I want to not be jealous.
I want SOMEONE- ANYONE- to care about me.
I have a fear of being judged, like I'm not good enough.
And today made me realize inspite of everything:

how great we get along,
how we have the same sense ( Read more... )

So here goes:  Self reflection

Wow, the last few months I've changed more than I've ever changed in my whole life.  I did some pretty hard core soul searching, and found a lot of answers.  I found faith most of all- in myself, in those around me, and God.  I've put faith in my judgement, my sense of self, and my life. 
I've learned so many things. ( Read more... )

Well CAT (
( Read more... )

Man ...

I've had a week.
I've had a long week.
I've had a really long week.
I've had a really long sucky week.

But tomorrow will be better when I kick Steve in the nuts.
And Lauren and Ashley spend the night.
And I get away from all the people I was around while
trying to get away from the other people that I'm now
spending the entire weekend with. : )
(( ( Read more... )

Fuck drumline,
Fuck band,
Fuck the politics of EVERYTHING,
Fuck grades,
Fuck my family that hates me,
Fuck my old best friends that hate me now,

Fuck these FACADE friendships.

pointless- no one takes me seriously and they don't give me the chance
to be serious anyways. So if you want to fucking label me then I'll live up
to it.  The only thing I'll ever ( Read more... )

Ohhhhh man yesterday OWNED ( Read more... )

*sigh* I'm tired today.
And I had some really weird dreams.
That I broke a crack STRAIGHT through my RAZR
but it still worked?
And Ryan and Frank came over,
and then Frank took Ryan's Camero,
so Ryan took my Explorer.
It was trippy.

Then I woke up to the SUN SHINE : )))))
Now I'm going to go shower,
and actually PACK a lunch because I dont
want to buy lunch ( Read more... )

Man I just went on here to look at my Flist.
Catch up on maybe a few missed entries.
Looks like I'll have to come back after practice read them all!

I'm in the poetry slam. Did I tell you? So I might be posting
some poems that need feedback.
Thanks.

Drumline is owning- sucking.
But things will get better, they keep telling me.
With 8 classes, drumline, ( Read more... )