i think im avoiding unpacking my stuff because i dont really want to believe im back here.

...or im just lazy.

i think it's a combination of both.

BUSY!i want my real home ( Read more... )

imagine, if we could go through everyday with your hand in mine.

...i imagine all the time. everyday. all the time.

realization: i haven't been myself since i left him. i need to find myself again. but how can i be the person i use to be when when i was with him i was the best person i could be?

sometimes i miss him so much i can't breath. sometimes when i walk alone at night i have to stop because i cant even process my emotions & thoughts about him. sometimes i miss him so much while falling asleep it hurts. sometimes my arms and side tingle trying to remember and feel his arms around me ( Read more... )

this is one of the hardest and most emotional times i have experienced.

argh.

but, lately i feel the safest walking by myself, with my warm jacket, and music playing in my ears. and during that time here, i feel the happiest ( Read more... )

i have been going to the rec center everyday and i love to watch everyone workout. i know that's kinda weird, but i am starting to see the same people everyday. older, younger students, the super skinny, athletic, and the overweight. today i was sitting on the bike and thinking, why do these people workout? just watching all these girls and guys ( Read more... )

i desperately want to be in another country right now. i feel restless and i cant focus on the very easy assignment i have to do ( Read more... )

1. today in one of my classes we watched this film about the ikung people in botswana, and it really brought me back to south africa. granted, this was about botswana, but the language was basically the same along with the scenery. i really think i want to live in south africa and learn zulu and work among the zulu people. i could do some type of ( Read more... )

i went home this weekend. some parts of it were nice. some parts were a little hectic. but i love that city and so many things about it. i needed to go home and enjoy the little things that i took for granted. my favorite part was eating oatmeal my mom made for me and waking up to her sitting on the side of my bed rubbing my face ( Read more... )