im in my room like a child shrinking back into the womb and im so grateful i could almost cry. i do cry actually, ice cold tears that freeze on my face and i can feel the chill straight down to the bones. the bones in the face go as such: paired nasal bones, inferior nasal conchae, palatine bones, maxillae, zygomatic bones, lacrimal bones, and the ( Read more... )

the silence hangs in the air like a string tying us loosely together. my guilt wraps itself around the string, and has it in it's mind that it could worm itself into you. but we're still in love right. the air is more sour than damp and cosmically i realize i have never been alone ever. it breathes out of time to us. you think you might be a killer ( Read more... )

and what will be left of you, grest survivor? the scarf you wore for all of january, the milk in your fridge, ripped off jokes repeared a little louder. theres a horseman at your door with a car for you, no one knows what it means. your bloody napkins will be taken by the garbagemen tomorrow and they will be gone and you will still be here. the ( Read more... )

this is the only lifetime you matter. in no other lifetime could you have done this to me. this is the only life where you matter and its all because you meant something to me. i know, i know there are billions of parallel universes--even if you dont care enough about the world to ponder it, it's a possibility--and im sure there are ones where you ( Read more... )

you lie on the carpet. i open the door and light from the hallway streams in. i almost wonder how long you've been lying there.almost. i know the darkness of the living room well enough. i tell you about the news, i know you havent seen it. you're so quiet i think you might be dead. i pretend thats upsetting.

they put down dogs at the biggest ( Read more... )

i talk about dreams a lot because i live in them, with you anyways. it gives me more time, lets me spend snippets of a life with you. in the dreams i dont know how its going to end, obviously. its like im an actor playing out a scene, there is no actual end, the director just says cut and its over. this takes away the hardest part of the end: ( Read more... )

we could never have been friends. we weren't supposed to be friends, first of all. nothing happens how it should and i don't know a lot, but i know that for sure. we would have been better of as lovers if i knew what that meant. we fought like lovers, we lied like lovers, we bled into each other like lovers, we killed each other and tore our one ( Read more... )

i feel at home in the bones that creak. when warmth cuts me open down the center all my flaws can be freed and pain can sew me back up clean and new, baptismal, the surgery where they ripped my mortal sin straight out of my stomach and handed it off to an expecting mother, but eve's sin doesn't cry, i let that guilt fester in my stomach and rot in ( Read more... )

i wake up in the morning. i lay in bed longer than i should. i dont open my mouth and I ruminate on the taste of silence on my tongue. i see god in everything. i see crucifixes in telephone poles, i see crowns of thorns in every tree. i feel my sadness like a thick viscous coating on the lining of my stomach. i cannot purge it and it comes up my ( Read more... )

i only ever wanted to find a cure. i think you'd let the world die if it meant you got a couple seconds extra that you could hold over the rest of us in hell. amber sweet, give up the knife. pick up something nice. go help out at a soup kitchen or something. pull over next time you pick up your phone. put a curtain over the mirror. i wont say i ( Read more... )