you took me and shot me dead pointblank range straight to the head. everyone else cared. they looked for me, but you knew that. they looked past you looking for me, looked inside you looking for me. and some of them stared you down because they Knew. they Knew about you. what you were. and of course they know. my blood is all over your two hands. ( Read more... )

another night sleeping in a coffin. we welcome the new and the obscene because it hurts to look at each for too long. too afraid we will find something we can love in the space between our eyes or the curvature of our lips. its easier to go to bed pressed tight in the dark. does this remind you of anything? i remember when i could still look at you ( Read more... )

you wanna fall like snow or more like dead autumn leaves. by next summers end im pretty sure youll be gone. i wanna fall like in love, i wanna fall like a heart dropping to your stomach. summers going to roll around and im going to go into fall alone. i miss you preemptively. ive already started to try to remember who i am without you. stand on my ( Read more... )

i probably wanna fuck your bloodlust more than you. isnt that all you are. rage and bloodlust and stolen switchblades. we both are, if you think of it like that. the only thing that keeps us together is how strongly we want to hurt something. we talk about killing so much that we both have to know we are talking about each other. if you had to ( Read more... )

i used to say if we made it through this hour we would be fine. it was different then. time passed differently when i spent it swimming in your eyes. i miss you, i love you, i hope all is well. you're making new friends? thats awesome im so happy i cant wait to meet them (i hate you i hate you i hate you) youre doing all the things you (we) ever ( Read more... )

sometimes i catch myself teetering backwards on the stairs. not too much, not enough to fall, not enough to have that pit in my stomach or that cold hot cold feeling all over, but enough that the air starts to move slower around my body in that way it does right before. right before something. you know the feeling, i dont. thats okay though because ( Read more... )

flesh and blood and flesh again. if i could tear you open and replace your insides with mine, i still wouldnt be close enough. dirt in my mouth that tastes enough like blood, at least my blood. is our blood (and flesh) made of the same stuff? do we taste the same raw, do we taste the same roasted? i would like to think so, it makes this so much ( Read more... )

when it gets dark i pretend to see your face out the window, mime being scared for no one in particular. this is me haunting myself, this is you haunting me. maybe it's both, maybe it's just me, maybe i haunt you too. i read books that remind me of you and maybe i feel your hands over the pages or maybe i dont. the figure in the mirror (definitely ( Read more... )

hot knife in cold water, i cut through you like it doesnt hurt. this is what you want, this is what you get. somewhere south of the border, a ghost and a body lay entwined, probably on a beach or something. this is the one where sweet doesnt follow up bitter, it just leaves a sour bite after the meal. i wish i could wash this down with something, ( Read more... )

i think a lot about running away, about faking my own death--hollywood style--and running away completely. starting over with a full factory reset. a consolation when the going gets rough. i can quit and restart somewhere else. but i can fake my death and start over, i can dye my hair and scramble up my amygdala until i answer to an anagram of my ( Read more... )