Getting Things The Way They Were (Part 3 of 1st Inkling)
Summary: “And do you love him” she repeated herself. Donghae thought about it for a second and then he felt something click in his mind to which his heart agreed with.
“I mean that I don’t ever plan to fall in love with anyone ever again.” he Hyukkie with a dead serious look on his face.
Note: I do not own anyone. I started to write this after I read one of the themes for the 100 Suju Fic Challenge, I meant to enter this but I got this idea for this story so I just went with the story instead of trying to stick to the guidelines. So this story would be theme #96, “I like you. I like you. I like you.” I really quickly have to thank my bff Sandy who helps me out whenever I get stuck on something, and who encourages me, thank you! Oh and I’m so sorry it took me so long to post this. So thanks for reading and enjoy and comment. Thanks.
Summary of parts 1&2: Hyukkie is avoiding Donghae, Donghae wants to know why. Junsu is worried about his best friend and Donghae looks for Junsu knowing he’ll know what’s up with Hyukkie. After finding Junsu, Donghae finds out about Hyukkie’s past, about his ex-girlfriend who only pretended to love him for gain. Now Donghae is hurt and doesn’t know how to solve his pain or Hyukkie’s.
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Getting Things The Way They Were
(A Continuation of 1st Inkling)
Donghae adjusted the pillows behind him as to get more comfortable. He had already been up the whole night. He thought over everything Junsu told him, and he couldn’t help crying every time he remembered how Hyukkie’s girlfriend used him, never really loved him. His heart ached for him, his body yearned to have him close, wanting to hug him so tight that he could melt away all the hurt that girl did to him.
Tired Donghae decided to stop thinking about it and tried to get to sleep. Sleep wasn’t that hard for Donghae, he was emotionally exhausted and crying for hours on end doesn’t help either. He slowly started to feel his eye lids becoming heavier and heavier and sleep came.
Donghae noticed that the sky looked sad, it was a bland shade of grey, it looked like it was going to rain soon. He quickly looked around, he recognized instantly where he was, he was on the block of the where company was. And that’s when he saw him, he called out but he didn’t respond.
“Hyukkie, Hyukkie” he called out but the dazzling dancer wouldn’t stop. Finally Donghae yelled out with all the force he could muster up, “Lee Hyukjae!” That finally stopped Hyukkie. He ran over to his friend but when he got there he noticed something was off. Hyukjae had the same blank look he had a few days back when he saw her. Donghae quickly tried to move Hyukkie but he wouldn’t budge,
‘Just like last time’ thought Donghae, he quickly got in front of Hyukkie trying to block his view of that bitch who hurt him. He searched franticly but he couldn’t see her anywhere, it was like he was fighting a ghost. Meanwhile he felt Hyukkie buckle from underneath his hands. He turned to look at him and he was shaking violently, Donghae knew that she was coming closer now, when suddenly Hyukkie stopped shaking and stood up straight.
“Hyukjae, aren’t you coming?” asked a female voice. Donghae was at first startled, he didn’t know where it came from or who the voice belonged to. But that didn’t stop Hyukjae. He started to move, trying to move around Donghae.
“No!” yelled Donghae, he didn’t know why but he knew he couldn’t let Hyukkie go. The voice laughed.
“Lee Donghae, you think you can stop him, he loves me, he wants to be with me”. said the voice eerily, Donghae knew then, it was Hyukkie’s ex and apparently his worst nightmare. Donghae, quickly got over his shock as Hyuk was trying to get away from his grasp.
“Stop Hyukkie, you don’t want to go with her” he huffed as he tried to make the dancer stop. Donghae tried and tried but no matter what he did Hyukkie still inched forward. Then he heard Hyuk’s ex, Soonie, laughing.
“You can stop wasting your strength, he is mine” said Soonie.
“No!” yelled out Donghae
“Why do you care so much Lee Donghae, what is Hyukjae to you?” asked Soonie.
“He’s my friend, one of my best friends, I care about him, I don’t want him to get hurt.”
“You can’t lie to me Lee Donghae, I’ve been watching you two, those feelings your having, their not those of a friend” she said still not revealing herself.
“What?” he said, as started to think of what she was getting at, lost in thought he didn’t notice that Hyukkie slipped from underneath him and was walking away from him.
“Hyukkie!” he yelled out, as it started to rain. “Stop, she doesn’t love you, she’ll only hurt you!”
“Lee Donghae, it’s too late”
“It’s not too late” he yelled out upward not knowing where Soonie was, “You don’t even love him!”
“And you love him then?” said the women who finally appeared clutching a still blank faced Hyukkie. Donghae looked at her and gasped, she was wearing all white, and had a glow to her that ran all over her. If she had visited Donghae any other time he would have thought she was an angel, her raven black hair flowed all the way to her waist, though her face was hidden under her white hood Donghae could tell that she was beautiful.
“And do you love him” she repeated herself. Donghae thought about it for a second and then he felt something click in his mind to which his heart agreed with.
Donghae woke up gasping for air, crying. He sat up slowly and replayed his dream in his head again and realized something ever important.
“I do love him” he whispered letting out a mix between a sob and a laugh. He sat on his bed for the rest of the morning, thinking. Soon his mother called for him to wake up or else he was going to be late to the office. To that Donghae started to panic, he knew he was going to be seeing Hyukkie, and that made him very nervous. He wasn’t sure if he could be around Hyukkie without revealing that he was in love with him. The good thing was that Hyukkie was avoiding him so it wouldn’t probably too hard to not revealing himself.
Donghae got up and started to get ready to leave the house, he had a feeling that something big was going to happen today, he just hoped it wasn’t anything bad.
Hyukjae was walking to the office when he looked at his watch and noticed that it was too early. Wondering what he should do he looked around and saw someone across the street looking at him, his heart started pounding thinking that it might be her again. He stared at the person across the street not moving, he so wished that he could just run, run fast and hard but his legs weren’t obeying him.
He let out a sigh of relief when he heard the person speak, “Ya- Hyukjae, what’s with that face, aren’t you happy to see your best friend?” asked Junsu as he started to cross the street. He quickly closed the gap between them and pulled his friend into a tight hug.
“You thought I was her didn’t you?” asked Junsu as he tighten their embrace. Hyukjae nodded, not being able to say anything. Finally after a few moments and glances from other pedestrians he let go of Junsu.
“What are you doing here so early?” asked Hyukjae.
“I was going to ask you the same thing, but since were here let’s get something to eat and talk for a while.” suggested Junsu. They quickly found a café and ordered some bread to go with their coffees. Only after their waitress delivered their orders did either of them speak.
“So I see that the whole seeing So- I mean her the other day is still bugging you” said Junsu as he picked up his bread and took a bite of it.
“No” said Hyukkie trying to make it seem like he was more interested in his food than in what Junsu had to say.
“Yea right, why did you get all scared when you thought I was her earlier?”he asked sipping his coffee, as a horrifying thought popped into his head, “Oh geez please tell me you didn’t react like that when you with Donghae” said Junsu hoping that Hyukkie didn’t put Donghae off him.
“Actually, I reacted the same way, except I think I was out longer and I-I might have cried.” said the dancer as he picked and his food.
“Good going” said Junsu, ‘No wonder Donghae was so desperate to hear about Soonie, I hope for Hyuk’s sake Donghae prefers the sensitive type’ he thought. “No wonder Donghae came looking for me yesterday,” said Junsu to Hyukjae.
“He came looking for you? What did he say? Did you tell him anything?” asked Hyukjae rapidly. Junsu put his hand up to stop him.
“Are you surprised Hyuk, I mean you turn into a tearing statue and then yell at him and then ignore him, what did you except to happen?” he asked chewing his bread slowly. “I mean he really cares about you, you know” said Junsu purposely as he watched Hyukjae’s expression change from worried face to a surprised happy one. He quickly continued hoping that his last comment would soften him up for what he was about to tell him, “I told him Hyuk, I told him everything.” Junsu glanced at his friend looking for his reaction. Junsu soon worried if he could make it out the door before Hyukjae could get to him. He saw the look on his friend’s face and was sure he was going to punch him or at least curse very loudly.
“Hyukjae, Hyukkie, I’m sorry I know I said I wouldn’t say anything but Donghae was worried about you and I didn’t know what to tell him expect the truth because anything else would have sounded like a lie, and he looked at me with like these eyes and I just cracked and told him and now he knows and I think you can’t keep on avoiding him, you should really talk to him.” Junsu said rapidly in case Hyukkie decided that he was really pissed at him and interrupted him with his fist.
“You told him, you told him, great thanks a lot Junsu,” said Hyukjae not wanting to look at his friend.
“Are you mad at me Hyukkie” asked Junsu with a pout, trying to be cute.
“Yes. Of course I’m mad.” said Hyukjae not wavering.
“Well at least you don’t have to keep on avoiding him, he knows everything now, you can talk to him now right?” asked Junsu looking for his friend to confirm his statement, when he didn’t he kicked him underneath the table.
“Ow! What was that for, I’m the one whose suppose to be mad remember.” he said as he kicked his friend back.
“Ok, Ok, but you hesitated when I asked you about talking to Donghae again, did you do something else that you’re not telling me,” said Junsu as he rubbed his aching shin.
“No, why do you always think that I did something wrong?” he asked but quickly continued after a glance from his friend. “It’s just, the other day, when I reacted the way I reacted, he looked like he was gonna cry, but he just kept on pestering me and I yelled at him a couple of times.” he said mumbling.
“So you can’t face him because you were a jerk to him, and yelled at him, and then avoided him.” Hyukjae nodded. “You really are a coward you know, he knows now why you did all that stuff, I’m sure he’s already forgiven you, he’s probably still worried about you, so you have to man up and talk to him, ok, say sorry and get things back the way they were, that’s what you want isn’t it?” he asked.
“Yea.”
“Good, now you have stop being a chicken and talk to him, be friends again, I’ll bet this will make you two even closer, now there are no secrets.” said Junsu, ‘Then you two can finally get on the road of one day maybe being together’ thought Junsu as he smiled at his best friend hoping that everything would turn out for the best.
Hyukjae looked at his friend smiling at him and thought, ‘What’s with that creepy smile, I think he’s planning something. I’ll worry about that later, Junsu’s right though I got to talk to Donghae, apologize to him, hopefully he won’t ask any questions about her. And honestly I noticed that I’ve missed him these last couple of days when we haven’t been talking. Next time were all alone I’ll talk to him.’ Thought Hyukjae, as he finished his bread, he hadn’t noticed but his appetite was back and he smiled thinking of being able to make up with Donghae and have things like they used to be.
It was late at night and there was no one left in the practice room but Donghae and Hyukjae. Both boys had spent that day avoiding each other. And now they were left all alone, an awkward atmosphere quickly spread over the room as they sat there in silence trying to talk to each other.
‘How did this happen?’ thought Hyukjae as he glanced at the beautiful boy next to him, he quickly scooted over so that there would be more space in between them. Hyukjae knew that he told himself that the next time he saw Donghae he would apologize but it seemed like his mind wasn’t cooperating with what he wanted. He had this urgent feeling of wanting to leave, but he knew that he needed to straighten out things so that things could get back to normal.
He quickly looked over at his friend and thought, ‘This is bad’, he couldn’t do it, if only Donghae would stop staring at him the way he was staring at him. The younger boy was now moving closer to Hyukjae, with what he thought was a very serious expression, it sacred Hyukjae. ‘Why does he keep staring at me like that?’ thought Hyukkie before he couldn’t take it anymore and broke the silence that had engulfed the room.
“I-I…Donghae I’m sorry.” Said the dancer quickly instantly feeling better getting that off his chest and smiled. Donghae smiled back at him and inched closer to him.
“For what?” he asked still smiling at Hyukkie, Donghae saw the face Hyukkie gave him and couldn’t help but smile wider, it was too cute, Donghae had to stop himself, it was strange, but now that he knew that he loved Hyukkie everything he did now was too cute. He tried to control himself as he thought that a normal friend wouldn’t be smiling so happily just because his friend was talking to him or because he had flashed him such a cute gummy smile.
Hyukjae let out a soft chuckle as he thought that Donghae wasn’t going to make this easy for him, “For what…well I’m sorry that I’ve been avoiding you lately, and I’m sorry about that day on the street, the way I reacted and yelled at you, I know I must have freaked you out, I’m really sorry, Donghae.”
“Oh yea, I almost forgot about that,” said Donghae as he remembered how they came to be in this situation, “But I-I talked to Junsu and I understand,”
“Yea I heard you two talked, I guess you know everything now,” said Hyukjae as he chuckled softly looking at the floor instead of Donghae, “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to you, I-I’m not good about talking about her”.
At this Donghae couldn’t help himself and asked, “What was she like?” Hyukjae was a little surprised by the sudden question but thought Donghae deserved to have any questions he asked answered, since he had been such a jerk to him.
“Umm…she-she, she’s hard to put in words,” he laughed silently, Donghae looked at him and could see his face was turning into the one he had on the street , agony, hurt, pain all made their presence known, Donghae was about to stop Hyukkie from saying anything else when Hyukjae continued. “You can say she was her own person, very determined, motivated, she knew what she wanted and she always went after it, no fear, she could always be in the middle of the room and know what to say and do to win over everyone in that room. She was always very strong-willed and charismatic, she could talk you out of your last dollar if she wanted. She was always on time, not very patient but patient when she needed to be. And even though she had this tough exterior, you could tell that it was all in self-defense, that deep inside she was just a fragile girl who needed someone to be there for her, love her. I think that’s what I liked best about her,” he finished and looked at Donghae.
Donghae listened to everything Hyukkie said and with every loving description his heart sank a little. As Hyukkie finished and looked at him, Donghae couldn’t help himself anymore, and he rounded closer to Hyukkie as he swiftly held onto the dancer’s face, he made his friend look at him while he wiped away his tears with his thumbs not wanted to let go of his face or gaze and embraced him tightly.
Both boys held tightly on to each other, each for a different reason, Hyukjae held on tightly because it didn’t hurt as much when he held on to Donghae, and Donghae held on tightly hoping to melt away all of Hyukkie’s pain and suffering. After a few more moments they parted and stared at their shoes again. They didn’t talk of her again, it pained both of them too much to say anything.
Even though Donghae didn’t want to bring up Soonie again there had been something on his mind ever since Donghae first heard about Hyukkie’s past, his mind screamed at him to ask the one question that repeated itself in his head but the words wouldn’t come out, instead he asked, “So are their any more secret ex’s I should know about?” he asked regretting it as soon as the words came out. He felt so stupid and uncomfortable, he kicked himself for saying such a thing, the last thing he wanted was to think that he didn’t care and was taking his pain jokingly. But to Donghae surprise Hyukkie laughed.
“Nope, no other girlfriends, now or ever” he said as his smile turned stiff.
“What do you mean?” Donghae could only be hopeful that this meant that he was off women but he knew that’s not what Hyukkie meant.
“I mean that I don’t ever plan to fall in love with anyone ever again.” he said with a dead serious look on his face. If Donghae didn’t already hate Soonie, he did now, he had never felt so much of one emotion ever, it truly scared him to know that he could hate someone so much. Donghae didn’t know what to say, he just stared at the beautiful boy who he knew he loved but who would never love him, or anyone else, the pain in his chest made him feel like he was going to die. He didn’t realize until his vision of Hyukkie was becoming blurry that he was crying. That’s when Donghae saw Hyukkie reach for him and hug him tightly. Donghae cried harder for a while in Hyukkie’s arms, he felt so warm and right in them, it saddened him that Hyukkie probably didn’t feel the same way or would ever get that feeling with anyone.
“It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay” said Hyukkie as he stroked the back of Donghae’s hair. Only one thing came to mind after he heard Hyukkie say that, “You said that three times” he sobbed.
“Yea, so you know I mean it” he said continuing to soothe the younger boy in his arms.
That’s when Donghae knew that it was going to be ok. That even though Hyukkie didn’t feel the same way about him as he did or anyone else he knew that one day he would. Donghae hoped that one day maybe he could be that person who opened up his heart again, whose love could full him up and heal the scars that tainted him.
‘It doesn’t matter if I have to wait a few months or a few years but I’ll wait for you Hyukkie, until your ready to accept me,’ he thought as he griped Hyukkie tighter, he breathed in other boys scent and said, “I like you. I like you. I like you” into Hyukkie’s shoulder. ‘And I said that three times so you know I mean it’ he thought.
“What did you just say?” asked the confused dancer as pulled Donghae away to look at him.
“That doesn’t matter now, I’ll tell you later” he said getting to his feet and helping Hyukkie to his, “Let’s get something to eat, I’m hungry.” Said Donghae with a smile as he slung his arm over Hyukjae who nodded in agreement.
Both boys walked outside into the fresh cold air with their arms around each other, both happy that things were fine again and that they were together. Donghae was just about to ask where they thought they should go when they heard someone.
“Hyukjae” said a women’s voice.
At first Donghae and Hyukkie both froze, but Donghae couldn’t help but to turn around. As soon as he saw the girl he knew, who she was. His mind started screaming the same question he wanted to ask before but was to afraid too, ‘Are you still in love with her Hyukjae?’ was all he could think as he stared from the boy he loved to the bitch who broke him.
The End…?
(Part 1)
(Part 2)
A/N: Some might think it’s a little weird the whole dream sequence in the beginning but I felt since they first met each other (see 1st Meeting for reference; in my journal entries) its felt kind of dreamy to me. And since Hyukkie is tormented by dreams of Hae I thought it was only fitting that Donghae be a little tormented too. I also thought it was fitting that Hae finds out that he loved Hyukkie through a dream, like Hyukkie knew Donghae was someone special in his dreams. Again if none of this is making sense I am referring to 1st Meeting, parts 1&2, this story is the second story, 1st Inkling, in maybe a 1st 's series(1st Confessions, 1st Kiss, etc...) that I’m thinking of writing. Not sure though, tell me what you think.
“I mean that I don’t ever plan to fall in love with anyone ever again.” he Hyukkie with a dead serious look on his face.
Note: I do not own anyone. I started to write this after I read one of the themes for the 100 Suju Fic Challenge, I meant to enter this but I got this idea for this story so I just went with the story instead of trying to stick to the guidelines. So this story would be theme #96, “I like you. I like you. I like you.” I really quickly have to thank my bff Sandy who helps me out whenever I get stuck on something, and who encourages me, thank you! Oh and I’m so sorry it took me so long to post this. So thanks for reading and enjoy and comment. Thanks.
Summary of parts 1&2: Hyukkie is avoiding Donghae, Donghae wants to know why. Junsu is worried about his best friend and Donghae looks for Junsu knowing he’ll know what’s up with Hyukkie. After finding Junsu, Donghae finds out about Hyukkie’s past, about his ex-girlfriend who only pretended to love him for gain. Now Donghae is hurt and doesn’t know how to solve his pain or Hyukkie’s.
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Getting Things The Way They Were
(A Continuation of 1st Inkling)
Donghae adjusted the pillows behind him as to get more comfortable. He had already been up the whole night. He thought over everything Junsu told him, and he couldn’t help crying every time he remembered how Hyukkie’s girlfriend used him, never really loved him. His heart ached for him, his body yearned to have him close, wanting to hug him so tight that he could melt away all the hurt that girl did to him.
Tired Donghae decided to stop thinking about it and tried to get to sleep. Sleep wasn’t that hard for Donghae, he was emotionally exhausted and crying for hours on end doesn’t help either. He slowly started to feel his eye lids becoming heavier and heavier and sleep came.
Donghae noticed that the sky looked sad, it was a bland shade of grey, it looked like it was going to rain soon. He quickly looked around, he recognized instantly where he was, he was on the block of the where company was. And that’s when he saw him, he called out but he didn’t respond.
“Hyukkie, Hyukkie” he called out but the dazzling dancer wouldn’t stop. Finally Donghae yelled out with all the force he could muster up, “Lee Hyukjae!” That finally stopped Hyukkie. He ran over to his friend but when he got there he noticed something was off. Hyukjae had the same blank look he had a few days back when he saw her. Donghae quickly tried to move Hyukkie but he wouldn’t budge,
‘Just like last time’ thought Donghae, he quickly got in front of Hyukkie trying to block his view of that bitch who hurt him. He searched franticly but he couldn’t see her anywhere, it was like he was fighting a ghost. Meanwhile he felt Hyukkie buckle from underneath his hands. He turned to look at him and he was shaking violently, Donghae knew that she was coming closer now, when suddenly Hyukkie stopped shaking and stood up straight.
“Hyukjae, aren’t you coming?” asked a female voice. Donghae was at first startled, he didn’t know where it came from or who the voice belonged to. But that didn’t stop Hyukjae. He started to move, trying to move around Donghae.
“No!” yelled Donghae, he didn’t know why but he knew he couldn’t let Hyukkie go. The voice laughed.
“Lee Donghae, you think you can stop him, he loves me, he wants to be with me”. said the voice eerily, Donghae knew then, it was Hyukkie’s ex and apparently his worst nightmare. Donghae, quickly got over his shock as Hyuk was trying to get away from his grasp.
“Stop Hyukkie, you don’t want to go with her” he huffed as he tried to make the dancer stop. Donghae tried and tried but no matter what he did Hyukkie still inched forward. Then he heard Hyuk’s ex, Soonie, laughing.
“You can stop wasting your strength, he is mine” said Soonie.
“No!” yelled out Donghae
“Why do you care so much Lee Donghae, what is Hyukjae to you?” asked Soonie.
“He’s my friend, one of my best friends, I care about him, I don’t want him to get hurt.”
“You can’t lie to me Lee Donghae, I’ve been watching you two, those feelings your having, their not those of a friend” she said still not revealing herself.
“What?” he said, as started to think of what she was getting at, lost in thought he didn’t notice that Hyukkie slipped from underneath him and was walking away from him.
“Hyukkie!” he yelled out, as it started to rain. “Stop, she doesn’t love you, she’ll only hurt you!”
“Lee Donghae, it’s too late”
“It’s not too late” he yelled out upward not knowing where Soonie was, “You don’t even love him!”
“And you love him then?” said the women who finally appeared clutching a still blank faced Hyukkie. Donghae looked at her and gasped, she was wearing all white, and had a glow to her that ran all over her. If she had visited Donghae any other time he would have thought she was an angel, her raven black hair flowed all the way to her waist, though her face was hidden under her white hood Donghae could tell that she was beautiful.
“And do you love him” she repeated herself. Donghae thought about it for a second and then he felt something click in his mind to which his heart agreed with.
Donghae woke up gasping for air, crying. He sat up slowly and replayed his dream in his head again and realized something ever important.
“I do love him” he whispered letting out a mix between a sob and a laugh. He sat on his bed for the rest of the morning, thinking. Soon his mother called for him to wake up or else he was going to be late to the office. To that Donghae started to panic, he knew he was going to be seeing Hyukkie, and that made him very nervous. He wasn’t sure if he could be around Hyukkie without revealing that he was in love with him. The good thing was that Hyukkie was avoiding him so it wouldn’t probably too hard to not revealing himself.
Donghae got up and started to get ready to leave the house, he had a feeling that something big was going to happen today, he just hoped it wasn’t anything bad.
Hyukjae was walking to the office when he looked at his watch and noticed that it was too early. Wondering what he should do he looked around and saw someone across the street looking at him, his heart started pounding thinking that it might be her again. He stared at the person across the street not moving, he so wished that he could just run, run fast and hard but his legs weren’t obeying him.
He let out a sigh of relief when he heard the person speak, “Ya- Hyukjae, what’s with that face, aren’t you happy to see your best friend?” asked Junsu as he started to cross the street. He quickly closed the gap between them and pulled his friend into a tight hug.
“You thought I was her didn’t you?” asked Junsu as he tighten their embrace. Hyukjae nodded, not being able to say anything. Finally after a few moments and glances from other pedestrians he let go of Junsu.
“What are you doing here so early?” asked Hyukjae.
“I was going to ask you the same thing, but since were here let’s get something to eat and talk for a while.” suggested Junsu. They quickly found a café and ordered some bread to go with their coffees. Only after their waitress delivered their orders did either of them speak.
“So I see that the whole seeing So- I mean her the other day is still bugging you” said Junsu as he picked up his bread and took a bite of it.
“No” said Hyukkie trying to make it seem like he was more interested in his food than in what Junsu had to say.
“Yea right, why did you get all scared when you thought I was her earlier?”he asked sipping his coffee, as a horrifying thought popped into his head, “Oh geez please tell me you didn’t react like that when you with Donghae” said Junsu hoping that Hyukkie didn’t put Donghae off him.
“Actually, I reacted the same way, except I think I was out longer and I-I might have cried.” said the dancer as he picked and his food.
“Good going” said Junsu, ‘No wonder Donghae was so desperate to hear about Soonie, I hope for Hyuk’s sake Donghae prefers the sensitive type’ he thought. “No wonder Donghae came looking for me yesterday,” said Junsu to Hyukjae.
“He came looking for you? What did he say? Did you tell him anything?” asked Hyukjae rapidly. Junsu put his hand up to stop him.
“Are you surprised Hyuk, I mean you turn into a tearing statue and then yell at him and then ignore him, what did you except to happen?” he asked chewing his bread slowly. “I mean he really cares about you, you know” said Junsu purposely as he watched Hyukjae’s expression change from worried face to a surprised happy one. He quickly continued hoping that his last comment would soften him up for what he was about to tell him, “I told him Hyuk, I told him everything.” Junsu glanced at his friend looking for his reaction. Junsu soon worried if he could make it out the door before Hyukjae could get to him. He saw the look on his friend’s face and was sure he was going to punch him or at least curse very loudly.
“Hyukjae, Hyukkie, I’m sorry I know I said I wouldn’t say anything but Donghae was worried about you and I didn’t know what to tell him expect the truth because anything else would have sounded like a lie, and he looked at me with like these eyes and I just cracked and told him and now he knows and I think you can’t keep on avoiding him, you should really talk to him.” Junsu said rapidly in case Hyukkie decided that he was really pissed at him and interrupted him with his fist.
“You told him, you told him, great thanks a lot Junsu,” said Hyukjae not wanting to look at his friend.
“Are you mad at me Hyukkie” asked Junsu with a pout, trying to be cute.
“Yes. Of course I’m mad.” said Hyukjae not wavering.
“Well at least you don’t have to keep on avoiding him, he knows everything now, you can talk to him now right?” asked Junsu looking for his friend to confirm his statement, when he didn’t he kicked him underneath the table.
“Ow! What was that for, I’m the one whose suppose to be mad remember.” he said as he kicked his friend back.
“Ok, Ok, but you hesitated when I asked you about talking to Donghae again, did you do something else that you’re not telling me,” said Junsu as he rubbed his aching shin.
“No, why do you always think that I did something wrong?” he asked but quickly continued after a glance from his friend. “It’s just, the other day, when I reacted the way I reacted, he looked like he was gonna cry, but he just kept on pestering me and I yelled at him a couple of times.” he said mumbling.
“So you can’t face him because you were a jerk to him, and yelled at him, and then avoided him.” Hyukjae nodded. “You really are a coward you know, he knows now why you did all that stuff, I’m sure he’s already forgiven you, he’s probably still worried about you, so you have to man up and talk to him, ok, say sorry and get things back the way they were, that’s what you want isn’t it?” he asked.
“Yea.”
“Good, now you have stop being a chicken and talk to him, be friends again, I’ll bet this will make you two even closer, now there are no secrets.” said Junsu, ‘Then you two can finally get on the road of one day maybe being together’ thought Junsu as he smiled at his best friend hoping that everything would turn out for the best.
Hyukjae looked at his friend smiling at him and thought, ‘What’s with that creepy smile, I think he’s planning something. I’ll worry about that later, Junsu’s right though I got to talk to Donghae, apologize to him, hopefully he won’t ask any questions about her. And honestly I noticed that I’ve missed him these last couple of days when we haven’t been talking. Next time were all alone I’ll talk to him.’ Thought Hyukjae, as he finished his bread, he hadn’t noticed but his appetite was back and he smiled thinking of being able to make up with Donghae and have things like they used to be.
It was late at night and there was no one left in the practice room but Donghae and Hyukjae. Both boys had spent that day avoiding each other. And now they were left all alone, an awkward atmosphere quickly spread over the room as they sat there in silence trying to talk to each other.
‘How did this happen?’ thought Hyukjae as he glanced at the beautiful boy next to him, he quickly scooted over so that there would be more space in between them. Hyukjae knew that he told himself that the next time he saw Donghae he would apologize but it seemed like his mind wasn’t cooperating with what he wanted. He had this urgent feeling of wanting to leave, but he knew that he needed to straighten out things so that things could get back to normal.
He quickly looked over at his friend and thought, ‘This is bad’, he couldn’t do it, if only Donghae would stop staring at him the way he was staring at him. The younger boy was now moving closer to Hyukjae, with what he thought was a very serious expression, it sacred Hyukjae. ‘Why does he keep staring at me like that?’ thought Hyukkie before he couldn’t take it anymore and broke the silence that had engulfed the room.
“I-I…Donghae I’m sorry.” Said the dancer quickly instantly feeling better getting that off his chest and smiled. Donghae smiled back at him and inched closer to him.
“For what?” he asked still smiling at Hyukkie, Donghae saw the face Hyukkie gave him and couldn’t help but smile wider, it was too cute, Donghae had to stop himself, it was strange, but now that he knew that he loved Hyukkie everything he did now was too cute. He tried to control himself as he thought that a normal friend wouldn’t be smiling so happily just because his friend was talking to him or because he had flashed him such a cute gummy smile.
Hyukjae let out a soft chuckle as he thought that Donghae wasn’t going to make this easy for him, “For what…well I’m sorry that I’ve been avoiding you lately, and I’m sorry about that day on the street, the way I reacted and yelled at you, I know I must have freaked you out, I’m really sorry, Donghae.”
“Oh yea, I almost forgot about that,” said Donghae as he remembered how they came to be in this situation, “But I-I talked to Junsu and I understand,”
“Yea I heard you two talked, I guess you know everything now,” said Hyukjae as he chuckled softly looking at the floor instead of Donghae, “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to you, I-I’m not good about talking about her”.
At this Donghae couldn’t help himself and asked, “What was she like?” Hyukjae was a little surprised by the sudden question but thought Donghae deserved to have any questions he asked answered, since he had been such a jerk to him.
“Umm…she-she, she’s hard to put in words,” he laughed silently, Donghae looked at him and could see his face was turning into the one he had on the street , agony, hurt, pain all made their presence known, Donghae was about to stop Hyukkie from saying anything else when Hyukjae continued. “You can say she was her own person, very determined, motivated, she knew what she wanted and she always went after it, no fear, she could always be in the middle of the room and know what to say and do to win over everyone in that room. She was always very strong-willed and charismatic, she could talk you out of your last dollar if she wanted. She was always on time, not very patient but patient when she needed to be. And even though she had this tough exterior, you could tell that it was all in self-defense, that deep inside she was just a fragile girl who needed someone to be there for her, love her. I think that’s what I liked best about her,” he finished and looked at Donghae.
Donghae listened to everything Hyukkie said and with every loving description his heart sank a little. As Hyukkie finished and looked at him, Donghae couldn’t help himself anymore, and he rounded closer to Hyukkie as he swiftly held onto the dancer’s face, he made his friend look at him while he wiped away his tears with his thumbs not wanted to let go of his face or gaze and embraced him tightly.
Both boys held tightly on to each other, each for a different reason, Hyukjae held on tightly because it didn’t hurt as much when he held on to Donghae, and Donghae held on tightly hoping to melt away all of Hyukkie’s pain and suffering. After a few more moments they parted and stared at their shoes again. They didn’t talk of her again, it pained both of them too much to say anything.
Even though Donghae didn’t want to bring up Soonie again there had been something on his mind ever since Donghae first heard about Hyukkie’s past, his mind screamed at him to ask the one question that repeated itself in his head but the words wouldn’t come out, instead he asked, “So are their any more secret ex’s I should know about?” he asked regretting it as soon as the words came out. He felt so stupid and uncomfortable, he kicked himself for saying such a thing, the last thing he wanted was to think that he didn’t care and was taking his pain jokingly. But to Donghae surprise Hyukkie laughed.
“Nope, no other girlfriends, now or ever” he said as his smile turned stiff.
“What do you mean?” Donghae could only be hopeful that this meant that he was off women but he knew that’s not what Hyukkie meant.
“I mean that I don’t ever plan to fall in love with anyone ever again.” he said with a dead serious look on his face. If Donghae didn’t already hate Soonie, he did now, he had never felt so much of one emotion ever, it truly scared him to know that he could hate someone so much. Donghae didn’t know what to say, he just stared at the beautiful boy who he knew he loved but who would never love him, or anyone else, the pain in his chest made him feel like he was going to die. He didn’t realize until his vision of Hyukkie was becoming blurry that he was crying. That’s when Donghae saw Hyukkie reach for him and hug him tightly. Donghae cried harder for a while in Hyukkie’s arms, he felt so warm and right in them, it saddened him that Hyukkie probably didn’t feel the same way or would ever get that feeling with anyone.
“It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay” said Hyukkie as he stroked the back of Donghae’s hair. Only one thing came to mind after he heard Hyukkie say that, “You said that three times” he sobbed.
“Yea, so you know I mean it” he said continuing to soothe the younger boy in his arms.
That’s when Donghae knew that it was going to be ok. That even though Hyukkie didn’t feel the same way about him as he did or anyone else he knew that one day he would. Donghae hoped that one day maybe he could be that person who opened up his heart again, whose love could full him up and heal the scars that tainted him.
‘It doesn’t matter if I have to wait a few months or a few years but I’ll wait for you Hyukkie, until your ready to accept me,’ he thought as he griped Hyukkie tighter, he breathed in other boys scent and said, “I like you. I like you. I like you” into Hyukkie’s shoulder. ‘And I said that three times so you know I mean it’ he thought.
“What did you just say?” asked the confused dancer as pulled Donghae away to look at him.
“That doesn’t matter now, I’ll tell you later” he said getting to his feet and helping Hyukkie to his, “Let’s get something to eat, I’m hungry.” Said Donghae with a smile as he slung his arm over Hyukjae who nodded in agreement.
Both boys walked outside into the fresh cold air with their arms around each other, both happy that things were fine again and that they were together. Donghae was just about to ask where they thought they should go when they heard someone.
“Hyukjae” said a women’s voice.
At first Donghae and Hyukkie both froze, but Donghae couldn’t help but to turn around. As soon as he saw the girl he knew, who she was. His mind started screaming the same question he wanted to ask before but was to afraid too, ‘Are you still in love with her Hyukjae?’ was all he could think as he stared from the boy he loved to the bitch who broke him.
The End…?
(Part 1)
(Part 2)
A/N: Some might think it’s a little weird the whole dream sequence in the beginning but I felt since they first met each other (see 1st Meeting for reference; in my journal entries) its felt kind of dreamy to me. And since Hyukkie is tormented by dreams of Hae I thought it was only fitting that Donghae be a little tormented too. I also thought it was fitting that Hae finds out that he loved Hyukkie through a dream, like Hyukkie knew Donghae was someone special in his dreams. Again if none of this is making sense I am referring to 1st Meeting, parts 1&2, this story is the second story, 1st Inkling, in maybe a 1st 's series(1st Confessions, 1st Kiss, etc...) that I’m thinking of writing. Not sure though, tell me what you think.