1) Prepare To Be Let Down ( Read more... )

"I gave up on metaphors and acts of sarcastic wit. Rewording phrases in an attempt to grab the approval of faces i may never know. I've only met a few people that deserve this smile. Yes, I'm fucking ok and please don't ask me again. I can not stop dwelling on the fucking past. Disillusion, the only thing that keeps me warm at night."

"Apparently somebody from her ward came to yours and saw you doing a number of things that at your level of nursing you are not allowed to be doing. Mum asked me to come on and give you a warning. Several people who mum has educated have done the same thing (directly resulting in the deaths of patients), and now she is being taken to court because ( Read more... )

Today at work we had an inservice on positive thinking. The staff counsellor whom was doing the inservice was asking everybody to say one thing that we did well. I dogged it until eventually she asked me and I honestly couldn't answer. Am I the only person to leave a positive thinking inservice feeling worse? But did I even seriously consider the ( Read more... )

Its nothing even important, I just can't get it out of my head.

It is much easier to bite my tongue when it is as swollen as it is.

There are quarters in the glove compartment and my hands are in my pocket. My head is tilted back and I can see the stains on the roof from the smokers who owned the car before I did. I hum along to the music, and I clink the metal in my mouth. I chew some gum, I fondle the lighter in my right hand as my left goes for the door handle. The empty ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel so inadequate around people, that instead of telling them how much I love them I just end up swearing loudly and talking myself down.

I will vomit a thousand words but I still won't be able to find the right ones to say to you.

I'm breaking up, I'm choking up. I can't get my head around anything or a certain thing at the moment. I can hold my breath for a whole minute. I feel like my stomach and throat are full of vomit. And my head. And my chest. Holy crap, how do I talk? I got nothing to lose but I can't bring myself to open my mouth. Instead I just drive a stake into ( Read more... )