hm. how to start this.

this has to be one of the best weekends I've had in a while.
thursday, hung out with rachel nd kevin, bought salvia, had a good time ( Read more... )

I had the weirdest dream ( Read more... )

I woke up this morning to my dad telling me "its petes time, we're taking him to the vet at 11:30."
We put him down, keeping him alive would've only been for us, and wouldn't have been fair to him.
I haven't seen my dad cry in a long time, but today I did.
its almost disturbing. that cat was his baby.
we're all going to miss him
RIP Pete.

I i/med eric from MA yesterday, and apologized for being so completely unhinged while we were close. and he responded with: get illx: ill always love you ( Read more... )

there's times like these that make me still wish for death to come swiftly and painlessly. when the depression raises its head and darkens every mood. when everything feels hopeless, and future seems blank and miserable. when I wish for someone, anyone to be there for me ( Read more... )

it kind of amazes me how much my "friends" here at home suck. there's not a single person that I can rely on at all.
I miss sunny and kern, two people who actually care even remotely about me.
I can't fathom why no one wants to hang out with me.
if possible can someone enlighten me? so I can at least know why.

I'm at stony brook right now. spent the day chilling around with sunny and kern. tomorrow at like 8am, sunny and I are going to the city to hit up all the museums. it was decided last minute around 11 or so, so I gotta sleep early. but I feel terrible, cause I can't go visit mel. I really wanted to see her while I was here, but I can't get locked ( Read more... )

i hate myself.

I've been an emotional wreck the past fews days.

too much/not enough stuff has been going on.

im driving myself crazy.

this entry is just going to be me bitching some more ( Read more... )