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darkly through the looking glass
I can't look at my reflection, my eyes look wrong, it's not me I see, it's the monster in the window, grinning maliciously, he's watching everything I do, waiting for me to crack and our roles are reversed and I'll be the one on the wrong side of the mirror, watching and waiting. it's ok, early days yet, hopefully this worry will recede back. I'm ( Read more... ) -
swings and roundabouts
So, the whole creative kick was a bit of a bust. I blame working from 6:30AM five days a week, that killed my motivation pretty quickly, I'm knackered most of the time, or just wanting to relax after being knackered lol. Still, nevermind, I've gotten little bits done here and there, ideas are forming. Not much drawing has happened, but a few ( Read more... ) -
if you cannot make love, make war
i feel i've been somewhat complacent, brief bursts of activity here and there, but momentarily, then the motivation is gone. i dislike this. i need to start being creative again, on a REGULAR basis. i can't just just start little things every now and again, it doesn't achieve anything, my creative muscles are not being exercised properly, they're ( Read more... ) -
Sinking
floating down through failure, emotionally, financially, geographically. i guess there's no place to go but up. -
(Untitled)
today I feel distraught and I don't know why, lying here sobbing, where has this despair come from? I feel so trapped, afraid to move, the world is passing me by as I lie in this pit of my own demise, if ever there was a time for action it's now, oh the sweet temptation to rip out arteries, to paint the walls with warm crimson, my legs are shaking ( Read more... ) -
warm on the inside, and outside...
ugh, another sweltering day, i dislike this heat, it makes me feel ill, and greatly inhibits my motivation to get anything done. that said, i was actually up at a reasonable hour this morning, and been somewhat productive. i'm in a pretty good mood, in the mood to do something, though i can't decide what, maybe write some music, or work on my ( Read more... ) -
infatuation
infatuation is a strange thing. it's really not something I'm accustomed to. I consider myself quite a logical person, for the most part, despite everything, I do my best to operate on what is sensible. this feeling of frustration won't leave me though, it's most peculiar, for someone who is so often deemed cold, unfeeling, this desire is entirely ( Read more... ) -
True
It is better to be lonely than to be surrounded by inferior people. -
(Untitled)
i feel a bit odd. shaky, and repressing everything. i had a good night out at devil's night, being led around as a pet zombie was greatly amusing, lots of fun, yet by the time i've made it home my mood has plummeted, i'm really trying not to shake, i don't understand it, i feel so very lucid and in control, apart from the shaking, it isn't cold, ( Read more... ) -
familiarity
you shouldn't look back, remind yourself that, the past is the past for a reason. if it was good it would be the present, don't give in to temptation, you're better than that, have some respect sweetheart.
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