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wasting my time
having recorded all of my band's original songs by myself for our new drummer, i find myself lounging in bed this evening watching episodes of firefly, wondering if i could be doing something more with myself. i would go out and work, except that nobody seems to want to give me a job, despite my efforts. i could probably sell my music, if only had ( Read more... ) -
there's blood on my desk
i've fucked up again, i feel terrible, everyone hates me, or do they? i'm not sure, and it doesn't really matter, i'm disgusted with myself and that's enough. went out by myself last night, to be sociable, for some reason, i don't know, i feel like i should, but i'm never sure what to do when i get there. so i was at the house, and somebody wanted ( Read more... ) -
fuck
why can't i get any worrds outt? smmasshing things wint do it i cant get any worsd out uselss fyckkk WGADZX VB
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(Untitled)
i feel useless, i can't get the words out to explain myself at all. i've lost my way with words, to explain the game everything is, i'm not a willing participant, i just have to go along with it, my mind was on fire and now it's a burnt out blackened hole, hiding away inside myself, afraid to come out when there's nothing but hostility all around. ( Read more... ) -
and again i'm the fool
silly throwaway comments that i don't mean are the worst.
moments of frustration, hours of regret.
sigh. -
(Untitled)
i must not drink or do drugs. i must not drink or do drugs. i must not drink or do drugs. i must not drink or do drugs. i must not drink or do drugs. i must not drink or do drugs. i must not drink or do drugs. i must not drink or do drugs. i must not drink or do drugs. i must not drink or do drugs. i must not drink or do drugs. i must not drink or ( Read more... ) -
i'm a stupid cunt
i give up. i actually give up. i won't be back, this place doesn't help. -
between love and madness is obsession
seems fair. personally i'd go with adoration, obsession sounds creepy. i'm only a little bit obsessed... not in a bad way either, i just want to please her, to love her and hold her and touch her and tease her. such servitude becomes me. i'm still not sure who i am, so i'll throw myself into the safety of this almost familiar role,and define myself ( Read more... ) -
disconnected
garbage in, garbage out.
3rr0r. 3rr0r. 3rr0r.
please reboot in safe mode and isolate the cause of this malfunction.
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(Untitled)
i'm not here for me, i'm here for her. almost forgot for a moment, started feeling depressed and the paranoia was rising up more than uual, but i remember now.
none of that thankyou, youcan fall apart on your own time.
i'm here to look after her :) i hope i'm doing a good job... :s
i want to run away a little, not for me, but for her sake. i can't ( Read more... )