"Almost There, Going Nowhere"
Part: 5/?
Pairing: Mark/Addison
Description: Post Season 3. Addison leaves for L.A. hoping that no one will get in her way of finding a new life.
Rating: Harmless.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Things that can be revealed in an airport.
Previous chapters can be found inside.
Enjoy!
Part 1: There's been too many days of trying.
Part 2: Dancing in circles, making me sick.
Part 3: Too late to learn from experience.
Part 4: From a heart that has suffered...from a mind that is strangled.
A/N: Thanks to the beta master and things will pick up within the next few chapters. Thanks!
~-~-~-~-~-~I've got my things, I'm good to go
You met me at the terminal
Just one more plane ride and it's done
We stood like statues at the gate
Vacation's come and gone too late
There's so much sun where I'm from
I had to give it away, had to give you away
- Jack’s Mannequin- “Bruised”
~-~-~-~-~-~
“Is that it lady?” The cab driver poses the question as he heaves the last suitcase that is flying with her into the overflowing trunk.
“Yes, that is it.” She toes around him carefully and hops into the back of the cab.
He climbs in the front clearly exhausted and turns the key so the engine will roar to life. As he catches up with the traffic she watches as the lights jiggle and bounce in an uncohesive dance off the dark bay in the background. There are a few things she liked about Seattle and the lights were one of them. Growing up in New York with all of the sights, sounds, smells, and illuminations gave her the not only the ability to be a surprisingly harder sleeper than her ex-husband but the ability to take comfort in the lights because they meant that there was a life out there somewhere. She just needed to go about finding it.
He slams the trunk shut once again and she hands him more money than is necessary for his work that he so begrudgingly put in. She finds her way into the ticket counter and picks up her boarding passes. The last flight out of Seattle tonight has demanded a layover in some town in Oregon and she is a little less than excited about having an hour and a half to kill in some unknown airport when all she wants to do is snap her fingers and be in her new house.
~-~-~-~-~-~-~
“Have you seen Addison?” He asks unsure if he actually wants the answer from the man in front of him.
“Not since last night. Why?” Derek asks while trying to act busier than everyone else on the floor.
“No reason. Last night?” Again something he may not want answered.
“Uh…well, Yes. Not that it is any of your business but I went and saw Addie last night just to talk and-”
“Addie? Since when do you call her Addie again? I thought you were going with Devil, Satan, whore who ruined your life, adulterous bitch-”
Grimacing at the names he used to reserve for talking behind her back he quickly lifts his head up to the other man who won’t stop rambling. “Listen Mark, I know I used to call her all of those and more that you haven’t heard but we are finally getting to a place where we are okay and she is Addie again. Is there a problem for you somewhere in there? Does it interfere with stealing what was mine away?”
“No problems for me. Besides I couldn’t steal something that didn’t want to be yours in the first place.” It is going to turn ugly, he just has a feeling.
His anger rising, “You don’t know anything about which you are speaking of. Drop it Mark, drop the whole thing. She and I- we had something and then we stopped, the fact that you somehow got wound up in it was merely a coincidence.”
“I saved you. Whether you admit it today, tomorrow, next week, or in fifty years we both know, I. Saved. You.”
“Saved me from what? Know what your problem is Mark?”
“You and your damn escapades with interns?” He quips.
Never one to have his thunder stolen Derek plunges forward. “No, you like to hear yourself talk too much. Stop making this about you.”
“You were in a lousy marriage Derek. Both of you. I saved you, it wasn’t working and then suddenly everything was my fault and you were off the hook. You aren’t the real martyr here you are the villain. I’m your sidekick, your wingman, your best friend, your brother. I did my job now just let it go already.” He turns hotly on his heels and heads for his locker before stumbling into Miranda Bailey who was watching the whole scene.
“Sorry.” He states while looking down after literally running into the short woman.
“Now there’s something I never thought I’d hear out of your stupid mouth. Where’s Addison? I need a consult.”
“I don’t know.”
“What did you two do this time?”
“Nothing.” He states while trying to get past her impeding presence.
“Uh-huh.” She doesn’t believe him, never has. He is merely a self absorbed jock who thinks he can get any woman he wants, and if it weren’t for the tall red-head proving him wrong constantly she might have taken it upon herself to make sure his life was hell.
“I need to go.” He excuses himself quickly and makes his way into the attending locker room. He quietly searches the locker she rarely uses, as she keeps everything in her shoe box of an office, and finds it to be empty. He wasn’t expecting anything else but it was worth a shot. He gathers his coat and rushes off to the hotel to see if maybe the love of his life has beaten him to drinking the day away.
~-~-~-~-~-~
Upon finding security surprisingly easy to get through she reaches for a journal out of her carry-on and quickly begins scanning the pages for something interesting. Years of hard work and dedication have gotten her published many times, as well as begged for articles on the cases she has seen through the years. She has written pieces for many journals on the more high profile cases but lately finds herself wondering if she will be able to handle what she is assuming will be a rather slow pace at a private practice. She lays the journal down on her crossed legs and reaches for her phone. She quickly dials a familiar number and hears it pick up on the third ring. “Naomi? I have a surprise for you.”
She finishes the call through blurs of excited sentences and a few small laughs and then resorts back to the boring articles on subjects she really doesn’t care to learn anything about anymore. Being a doctor means being a long time student and teacher, neither of which she has enjoyed much of lately.
~-~-~-~-~-~
After a less than dismal appearance at the stupid board meeting where Richard announced he will be sticking around for a little longer than anticipated he rushes out the door and heads for his original destination.
He finds her hotel room quiet and is guessing that she may have gone out for a drink or is perhaps swimming off today’s tensions downstairs in the gym. He quickly searches the hotel and tries her cell phone yet again only to be sent to voicemail. On his way back up to his room he gets caught in the elevator with Callie Torres, or O’Malley, or whatever it is that everyone is calling her these days.
“Hey.” She opens the floor for discussion.
“Hi.”
“So did you hear? Well of course you heard, you must have by now. You are Mark and well Seattle Grace is like the hospital gossip epicenter of the world.”
“Spill it Torres. I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Addison resigned this morning. Apparently today was her last day. She must have been doing a damn good job at hiding because I didn’t find her all day…”
As she rambles on he decides quickly that she was and probably is the girl in the back of the classroom who ate her hair. Mind you, he was the boy in the back sulking because he hated his parents and wanted to move in with Derek who sat proudly in the front competing for every correct answer with who would’ve have guessed to be Addison. Classroom analogies aside he quickly hits the stop button canceling both of their plans and makes the elevator head back down the lobby.
“What are you doing?” She gasps at the sudden change in motion.
Something I should have a long time ago, going to the airport.”
“You think she is there?” She pauses leaning back against the polished mirror inlayed into the elevator wall that he has grown to hate in the last few months.
“I don’t know but I have to go.” He steps out onto the marble lobby floor and rushes to find a taxi in a town where you can never find one on duty.
~-~-~-~-~-~
A cup of coffee, two boring articles, one phone conversation, several times of hitting the ignore button on her cell, and the plane is finally getting ready to board. She holds down the off button and shoves the technology into her purse. She stands straightening her skirt and steadying herself on her heels and she smiles as she takes one good last look at Seattle out the window. A weight lifts as she realizes she doesn’t ever have to come back if she doesn’t want to.
~-~-~-~-~-~
He throws money at the annoying cabbie, who wanted to debate Red Sox/Yankees stats for the year, through his window and bids him a welcome good bye.
He starts for the terminal realizing that he is going to need a ticket to get through security. Rushing to the only open counter he ends up buying a one thousand dollar ticket to Orlando hoping that he will catch her in time. He hurries through the check points, forgetting to empty his pockets which leads to a fun pat down, and makes his way through the winding alley of gates to find her plane boarding already.
~-~-~-~-~-~
The blaring sound of the woman seated at the desk in front of an almost empty terminal catches his attention. “Section 3 for United Airlines flight 5758 may now board.” He in enveloped in a swarm of people anxious to get their seats before the people in front of them and for a moment all he can see is a mix of colorful clothing and the disastrously ugly airport carpet.
~-~-~-~-~-~
She hasn’t flown with this company in years and she finds it rather ridiculous that first class has to board last. She sits huffing while the call for the third section is sounded and masses of people stand. She scuffs her heel along the ugly carpet and looks down at the hem of her skirt waiting impatiently for a turn to start her life anew.
~-~-~-~-~-~
Finally he sees her pegged behind a screaming child. She is picking her skirt in a very un-Addison move. He heads toward her weaving through the groups of people only to find himself thinking that he feels like he is in some ridiculous romantic comedy that she would have forced him to watch. He plods around the screaming kids and suddenly has a moment of self-consciousness and is terrified of what she is going to do when she finds him chasing her yet again. He stops momentarily and then decides it is definitely worth it. He presses forward.
“Addison?” The words barely escape his mouth. She doesn’t look up and he thinks he may have said it too quietly because she doesn’t generally ignore her own name. It isn’t popular enough for her to assume that the person would be talking to someone different so he tries again. “Addie.”
She looks up quickly at the sound of her name and finds Mark standing in front of her clutching a boarding pass in one hand and a single daffodil in the other. “Mark.” It is a statement, a question, an observation, and a longing.
“Uhh..I-I just wanted you to have this.” He holds out the flower hoping she will take it and not smack him upside the head with it.
She stands up next to him and raises an eyebrow perfectly. “You drove all the way to the airport, went through security, and found my gate to give me this?” She takes the limp flower and holds it delicately between two fingers before giving it a twirl.
“Yeah. Something like that.” He exhales deeply and watches her every movement as she twists the stem.
“Mark, I should have told you that I was leaving but-”
She is cut off by another announcement, they one she has been waiting for. “We are now boarding all first class and business passengers for flight 5758 to Portland, Oregon.”
“Addison.” He pleads as she quickly begins picking her things up off the floor. She hoists the carry-on over her shoulder and takes a step towards him closing the gap between them. She is invading his personal bubble and her sweet smell is as intoxicating as ever. “Addison. I think-no I know, I know that I love you. I am in love with you. Still.”
She shifts her weight adjusting her bag before quipping, “I know, but I... Mark, I can't do this. Not here, not now."
Taken by surprise, “Oh. I thought maybe if you knew-”
“Then I would stay?” He nods and takes a step backwards. “No, Mark. I have to go. Let me go this time, ok?”
He nods again before leaning in and capturing her lips in his own for the last time. She holds back momentarily before leaning forward and embracing the warm kiss. He pulls back first watching her eyes flutter open. He thinks it is a little ridiculous that it has all come down to this but he starts in anyway, “I’ll let you go. I will do my best…“ His voice drops off into a mumble so that those around him can’t understand the ridiculously romantic crap he is spewing her direction. “…because you are...permitted.”
“Permitted?” She recites more than intrigued by a man who is always a little less than giving.
He shrugs and tries to explain in a way that doesn‘t reveal that he has been thinking about this non-stop for the last 30 something hours. “You get to go on. You have the right to have a life of your own choosing without me tagging along and ruining everything.”
As the nervous rambling begins to take place in her stomach she tries to explain, “You don’t ruin everything. Well, you ruin a lot of things but that isn’t the point here. I just need a change of pace. Too many bad things have happened in this town, you know?”
“I know. I just have one request.”
“Alright.” She takes another glance around at the empty waiting area and hopes that he makes this fast.
“Don’t call me.”
“What?”
“Don’t call me. I can’t get over you if I talk to you, not yet anyway. Maybe later. And don’t call when you are drunk asking me to come down and save you. Leave the rescuing to someone else so I can move on. I think that I deserve that.” He thinks it may have come out a little rougher than he intended because his only point was that this is going to be so much harder on him than she thinks.
With one big deep breath she offers, “I can do that I guess.” She steps forward giving him one last hug and then stalks off to board the aircraft.
Long after her plane has taken off Mark is still sitting in the seat that she was occupying trying desperately how to figure out going on living with out her. He reasons with himself saying that she needs this more than she needs him because it will hopefully make her happy once again and then throws himself back into how they could’ve have had it all together before. After the mind wrestling has settled hours later he stands, stretches, and heads back to the hotel to do some more reflection, this time perhaps with the help of scotch.
Part 6: I'll get as far as I can go.
Pairing: Mark/Addison
Description: Post Season 3. Addison leaves for L.A. hoping that no one will get in her way of finding a new life.
Rating: Harmless.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Things that can be revealed in an airport.
Previous chapters can be found inside.
Enjoy!
Part 1: There's been too many days of trying.
Part 2: Dancing in circles, making me sick.
Part 3: Too late to learn from experience.
Part 4: From a heart that has suffered...from a mind that is strangled.
A/N: Thanks to the beta master and things will pick up within the next few chapters. Thanks!
~-~-~-~-~-~I've got my things, I'm good to go
You met me at the terminal
Just one more plane ride and it's done
We stood like statues at the gate
Vacation's come and gone too late
There's so much sun where I'm from
I had to give it away, had to give you away
- Jack’s Mannequin- “Bruised”
~-~-~-~-~-~
“Is that it lady?” The cab driver poses the question as he heaves the last suitcase that is flying with her into the overflowing trunk.
“Yes, that is it.” She toes around him carefully and hops into the back of the cab.
He climbs in the front clearly exhausted and turns the key so the engine will roar to life. As he catches up with the traffic she watches as the lights jiggle and bounce in an uncohesive dance off the dark bay in the background. There are a few things she liked about Seattle and the lights were one of them. Growing up in New York with all of the sights, sounds, smells, and illuminations gave her the not only the ability to be a surprisingly harder sleeper than her ex-husband but the ability to take comfort in the lights because they meant that there was a life out there somewhere. She just needed to go about finding it.
He slams the trunk shut once again and she hands him more money than is necessary for his work that he so begrudgingly put in. She finds her way into the ticket counter and picks up her boarding passes. The last flight out of Seattle tonight has demanded a layover in some town in Oregon and she is a little less than excited about having an hour and a half to kill in some unknown airport when all she wants to do is snap her fingers and be in her new house.
~-~-~-~-~-~-~
“Have you seen Addison?” He asks unsure if he actually wants the answer from the man in front of him.
“Not since last night. Why?” Derek asks while trying to act busier than everyone else on the floor.
“No reason. Last night?” Again something he may not want answered.
“Uh…well, Yes. Not that it is any of your business but I went and saw Addie last night just to talk and-”
“Addie? Since when do you call her Addie again? I thought you were going with Devil, Satan, whore who ruined your life, adulterous bitch-”
Grimacing at the names he used to reserve for talking behind her back he quickly lifts his head up to the other man who won’t stop rambling. “Listen Mark, I know I used to call her all of those and more that you haven’t heard but we are finally getting to a place where we are okay and she is Addie again. Is there a problem for you somewhere in there? Does it interfere with stealing what was mine away?”
“No problems for me. Besides I couldn’t steal something that didn’t want to be yours in the first place.” It is going to turn ugly, he just has a feeling.
His anger rising, “You don’t know anything about which you are speaking of. Drop it Mark, drop the whole thing. She and I- we had something and then we stopped, the fact that you somehow got wound up in it was merely a coincidence.”
“I saved you. Whether you admit it today, tomorrow, next week, or in fifty years we both know, I. Saved. You.”
“Saved me from what? Know what your problem is Mark?”
“You and your damn escapades with interns?” He quips.
Never one to have his thunder stolen Derek plunges forward. “No, you like to hear yourself talk too much. Stop making this about you.”
“You were in a lousy marriage Derek. Both of you. I saved you, it wasn’t working and then suddenly everything was my fault and you were off the hook. You aren’t the real martyr here you are the villain. I’m your sidekick, your wingman, your best friend, your brother. I did my job now just let it go already.” He turns hotly on his heels and heads for his locker before stumbling into Miranda Bailey who was watching the whole scene.
“Sorry.” He states while looking down after literally running into the short woman.
“Now there’s something I never thought I’d hear out of your stupid mouth. Where’s Addison? I need a consult.”
“I don’t know.”
“What did you two do this time?”
“Nothing.” He states while trying to get past her impeding presence.
“Uh-huh.” She doesn’t believe him, never has. He is merely a self absorbed jock who thinks he can get any woman he wants, and if it weren’t for the tall red-head proving him wrong constantly she might have taken it upon herself to make sure his life was hell.
“I need to go.” He excuses himself quickly and makes his way into the attending locker room. He quietly searches the locker she rarely uses, as she keeps everything in her shoe box of an office, and finds it to be empty. He wasn’t expecting anything else but it was worth a shot. He gathers his coat and rushes off to the hotel to see if maybe the love of his life has beaten him to drinking the day away.
~-~-~-~-~-~
Upon finding security surprisingly easy to get through she reaches for a journal out of her carry-on and quickly begins scanning the pages for something interesting. Years of hard work and dedication have gotten her published many times, as well as begged for articles on the cases she has seen through the years. She has written pieces for many journals on the more high profile cases but lately finds herself wondering if she will be able to handle what she is assuming will be a rather slow pace at a private practice. She lays the journal down on her crossed legs and reaches for her phone. She quickly dials a familiar number and hears it pick up on the third ring. “Naomi? I have a surprise for you.”
She finishes the call through blurs of excited sentences and a few small laughs and then resorts back to the boring articles on subjects she really doesn’t care to learn anything about anymore. Being a doctor means being a long time student and teacher, neither of which she has enjoyed much of lately.
~-~-~-~-~-~
After a less than dismal appearance at the stupid board meeting where Richard announced he will be sticking around for a little longer than anticipated he rushes out the door and heads for his original destination.
He finds her hotel room quiet and is guessing that she may have gone out for a drink or is perhaps swimming off today’s tensions downstairs in the gym. He quickly searches the hotel and tries her cell phone yet again only to be sent to voicemail. On his way back up to his room he gets caught in the elevator with Callie Torres, or O’Malley, or whatever it is that everyone is calling her these days.
“Hey.” She opens the floor for discussion.
“Hi.”
“So did you hear? Well of course you heard, you must have by now. You are Mark and well Seattle Grace is like the hospital gossip epicenter of the world.”
“Spill it Torres. I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Addison resigned this morning. Apparently today was her last day. She must have been doing a damn good job at hiding because I didn’t find her all day…”
As she rambles on he decides quickly that she was and probably is the girl in the back of the classroom who ate her hair. Mind you, he was the boy in the back sulking because he hated his parents and wanted to move in with Derek who sat proudly in the front competing for every correct answer with who would’ve have guessed to be Addison. Classroom analogies aside he quickly hits the stop button canceling both of their plans and makes the elevator head back down the lobby.
“What are you doing?” She gasps at the sudden change in motion.
Something I should have a long time ago, going to the airport.”
“You think she is there?” She pauses leaning back against the polished mirror inlayed into the elevator wall that he has grown to hate in the last few months.
“I don’t know but I have to go.” He steps out onto the marble lobby floor and rushes to find a taxi in a town where you can never find one on duty.
~-~-~-~-~-~
A cup of coffee, two boring articles, one phone conversation, several times of hitting the ignore button on her cell, and the plane is finally getting ready to board. She holds down the off button and shoves the technology into her purse. She stands straightening her skirt and steadying herself on her heels and she smiles as she takes one good last look at Seattle out the window. A weight lifts as she realizes she doesn’t ever have to come back if she doesn’t want to.
~-~-~-~-~-~
He throws money at the annoying cabbie, who wanted to debate Red Sox/Yankees stats for the year, through his window and bids him a welcome good bye.
He starts for the terminal realizing that he is going to need a ticket to get through security. Rushing to the only open counter he ends up buying a one thousand dollar ticket to Orlando hoping that he will catch her in time. He hurries through the check points, forgetting to empty his pockets which leads to a fun pat down, and makes his way through the winding alley of gates to find her plane boarding already.
~-~-~-~-~-~
The blaring sound of the woman seated at the desk in front of an almost empty terminal catches his attention. “Section 3 for United Airlines flight 5758 may now board.” He in enveloped in a swarm of people anxious to get their seats before the people in front of them and for a moment all he can see is a mix of colorful clothing and the disastrously ugly airport carpet.
~-~-~-~-~-~
She hasn’t flown with this company in years and she finds it rather ridiculous that first class has to board last. She sits huffing while the call for the third section is sounded and masses of people stand. She scuffs her heel along the ugly carpet and looks down at the hem of her skirt waiting impatiently for a turn to start her life anew.
~-~-~-~-~-~
Finally he sees her pegged behind a screaming child. She is picking her skirt in a very un-Addison move. He heads toward her weaving through the groups of people only to find himself thinking that he feels like he is in some ridiculous romantic comedy that she would have forced him to watch. He plods around the screaming kids and suddenly has a moment of self-consciousness and is terrified of what she is going to do when she finds him chasing her yet again. He stops momentarily and then decides it is definitely worth it. He presses forward.
“Addison?” The words barely escape his mouth. She doesn’t look up and he thinks he may have said it too quietly because she doesn’t generally ignore her own name. It isn’t popular enough for her to assume that the person would be talking to someone different so he tries again. “Addie.”
She looks up quickly at the sound of her name and finds Mark standing in front of her clutching a boarding pass in one hand and a single daffodil in the other. “Mark.” It is a statement, a question, an observation, and a longing.
“Uhh..I-I just wanted you to have this.” He holds out the flower hoping she will take it and not smack him upside the head with it.
She stands up next to him and raises an eyebrow perfectly. “You drove all the way to the airport, went through security, and found my gate to give me this?” She takes the limp flower and holds it delicately between two fingers before giving it a twirl.
“Yeah. Something like that.” He exhales deeply and watches her every movement as she twists the stem.
“Mark, I should have told you that I was leaving but-”
She is cut off by another announcement, they one she has been waiting for. “We are now boarding all first class and business passengers for flight 5758 to Portland, Oregon.”
“Addison.” He pleads as she quickly begins picking her things up off the floor. She hoists the carry-on over her shoulder and takes a step towards him closing the gap between them. She is invading his personal bubble and her sweet smell is as intoxicating as ever. “Addison. I think-no I know, I know that I love you. I am in love with you. Still.”
She shifts her weight adjusting her bag before quipping, “I know, but I... Mark, I can't do this. Not here, not now."
Taken by surprise, “Oh. I thought maybe if you knew-”
“Then I would stay?” He nods and takes a step backwards. “No, Mark. I have to go. Let me go this time, ok?”
He nods again before leaning in and capturing her lips in his own for the last time. She holds back momentarily before leaning forward and embracing the warm kiss. He pulls back first watching her eyes flutter open. He thinks it is a little ridiculous that it has all come down to this but he starts in anyway, “I’ll let you go. I will do my best…“ His voice drops off into a mumble so that those around him can’t understand the ridiculously romantic crap he is spewing her direction. “…because you are...permitted.”
“Permitted?” She recites more than intrigued by a man who is always a little less than giving.
He shrugs and tries to explain in a way that doesn‘t reveal that he has been thinking about this non-stop for the last 30 something hours. “You get to go on. You have the right to have a life of your own choosing without me tagging along and ruining everything.”
As the nervous rambling begins to take place in her stomach she tries to explain, “You don’t ruin everything. Well, you ruin a lot of things but that isn’t the point here. I just need a change of pace. Too many bad things have happened in this town, you know?”
“I know. I just have one request.”
“Alright.” She takes another glance around at the empty waiting area and hopes that he makes this fast.
“Don’t call me.”
“What?”
“Don’t call me. I can’t get over you if I talk to you, not yet anyway. Maybe later. And don’t call when you are drunk asking me to come down and save you. Leave the rescuing to someone else so I can move on. I think that I deserve that.” He thinks it may have come out a little rougher than he intended because his only point was that this is going to be so much harder on him than she thinks.
With one big deep breath she offers, “I can do that I guess.” She steps forward giving him one last hug and then stalks off to board the aircraft.
Long after her plane has taken off Mark is still sitting in the seat that she was occupying trying desperately how to figure out going on living with out her. He reasons with himself saying that she needs this more than she needs him because it will hopefully make her happy once again and then throws himself back into how they could’ve have had it all together before. After the mind wrestling has settled hours later he stands, stretches, and heads back to the hotel to do some more reflection, this time perhaps with the help of scotch.
Part 6: I'll get as far as I can go.