(random fic): Saving Private Sungmin, and then some - Part 3
This is Part 3. You will need to read parts one and two first.
Saving Private Sungmin, and then some
Part 3
The fourteen men congregate in Leeteuk’s apartment much before the sun even rises.
“In the bags are the essentials,” Leeteuk explains as he hands one to each of the men. “Inside you’ll find some basic essentials-snacks, water, earplugs, facial tissues-”
“Earplugs?” Henry asks, frowning, though the frown quickly vanishes when Ryeowook gives a quiet wave.
Without further questions, the car assignments are given. Heechul, Siwon, Henry, and Kibum all ride with Hankyung; Ryeowook, Yesung, Kyuhyun, and Zhou Mi all ride with Shindong; and Kangin takes the rest.
“See you all there,” says Leeteuk, and with that their debriefing finishes.
“Just a question,” Heechul asks Henry after they’ve traveled some considerable distance. “Why is it that we all have to drive over there? Why could you just teleport us there?”
“I have to be able to see where I’m going,” Henry replies. “That, or I have to be given the specific latitude and longitude.”
“Oh… I see.”
Though Shindong has heard many variations of the song “Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall,” never in his life has he heard it sung so… beautifully.
“Why didn’t you just start your own A Capella group?” Shindong asks, and all four of his passengers shrug.
“There’s still time,” Yesung says. “I mean, after this is all done and everything?-I don’t really know what I’d be doing with my life anyway. And the other night I had a premonition where I was being booed at during a solo performance at a local church, so it’s not like they’d hate us.”
“No one would hate you guys,” Shindong says truthfully. “I mean, the way you sang that song just now?-you made it sound like a ballad, as if you were all sad that last bottle had been taken off the wall….”
“Are we there yet?” Donghae and Eunhyuk yell, and Kangin politely gives them a negative. “Are we there yet?”
“Your father said no,” Leeteuk snaps.
“UMMAR, ARE WE THERE YET?”
“NO!” Leeteuk shrieks, and after several expletives thereafter the two backseaters give up and return to playing their PSPs.
“They’re asleep, you know,” Heechul whispers into Hankyung’s ear, and Hankyung forces himself to ignore Heechul.
“I’m driving,” Hankyung reminds him, keeping his eyes on the road-but keeping focused on driving becomes oh so hard, in more ways than one, when Heechul smirks knowingly and squeezes the front of Hankyung’s pants. “Fuck, Heechul….”
“Is that a fuck fuck, or a fuck with emphasis?” asks Heechul, though with just a few strokes Hankyung is unable to respond. “I’ll take that as neither, then?”
“Both, Heechul, damn it,” and without further encouragement Heechul proceeds in finishing Hankyung’s hand job.
(And Hankyung considers himself incredibly accomplished when he manages to not only wake up the others but to also not land themselves dead off the side of the road.)
“I know you like Sungmin,” Zhou Mi whispers to Kyuhyun with a flat tone in his voice, and Kyuhyun all but sputters on his own saliva.
“W-what?-no, Zhou Mi, I told you, I don’t-”
“I don’t mind,” Zhou Mi continues, and it effectively shuts Kyuhyun up in surprise. “I mean, I minded having to share you with StarCraft, but if it’s Sungmin I won’t mind, because it’d probably be nothing compared to your love for StarCraft anyway.”
“Zhou Mi, I….” Kyuhyun sighs, shaking his head. “I’m just worried about him, that’s all. It’s nothing more, I swear.”
“Which is why you moaned his name and not mine, the last time we had sex with each other?”
“…oh.” Kyuhyun bites his lip. “Look, Zhou Mi-”
“Kui Xian, really, I don’t mind.”
“Yes you do.”
“No, I don’t! I mean, as long as you share him with me….”
“Some things never change,” Kyuhyun says with a laugh, and he turns to kiss Zhou Mi on the cheek before being punched playfully at his side.
“Kangin, I think we’re lost.”
“No we’re not, Leeteuk! I know perfectly where we are!”
“…but we passed that gas station half an hour ago, I’m certain of it!”
“No, Leeteuk, it’s a common gas company, I’m sure you’re just imagining-”
“Damn it, Kangin, stop being such a guy! Just stop by the next gas station and ask for directions.”
“Damn it, Leeteuk, stop being such a woman and insisting we’re lost!”
“Hyukkie, umma and appa are fighting! ( D= )”
“Hey Hae, do you think we should ask umma and appa if we’re there yet? ( =O )”
“Okay~! ( XD )”
“Donghae!” Kangin yells, “I forbid you from having incestuous relationship with your brother. Same goes to you, Eunhyuk. Have I made myself clear?”
“BUT, BUT. ( ;A; )”
“Have I made myself clear?”
“Fine….” And from that moment on, or at least until they forget, neither Donghae nor Eunhyuk calls Kangin and Leeteuk appa and umma, because Donghae decides that incestuous relationships are not worth the effort if it means no touching Eunhyuk.
Four hours later all three vehicles are parked outside Ganon’s castle, though Hankyung’s and Shindong’s cars had actually arrived half an hour earlier. And it’s only after Heechul calms downs Leeteuk’s angry rants regarding Kangin’s refusal to accept being lost that Leeteuk gives them their one last pep talk-though it isn’t really anything new. And it’s really only after they break from their huddle when they realize their next matter of concern.
“The castle has a moat,” Heechul deadpans. “And it’s filled with fucking lava.”
Henry slaps his forehead. “Damn it, I hope this isn’t like Ocarina of Time,” and then he goes to explain the different sages that had built a bridge for Link to enter the castle. “And do you know how long it took to visit the six temples to find those sages?”
“Is it really a problem, though?” asks Ryeowook, peering over the ledge. “I mean, you couldn’t teleport people to the other side?-and Leeteuk could just fly.”
“…oh. Right.” And so Leeteuk and Henry begin moving everyone to the other side of the moat, the latter doing so much more quickly. Once on the other side they walk for a bit, sneaking through a mysteriously-left-open door, and ultimately they find their way inside.
“It’s Ocarina of Time!” Henry exclaims suddenly, and he runs forward, spinning around to take a good look at the room. “…well not really, because this castle kinda reminds me more of Luigi’s Manson.”
“Do you have a clue what he’s talking about?”
“No, not really.”
“All right!” Leeteuk exclaims, clapping his hands that has Kangin into a fit of snickers under his breath. “Split into your groups!-Eunhyuk, Kangin, just find another group to tag along with.”
“Roger,” both reply, and with that the fourteen disperse.
Ryeowook and Zhou Mi open their door and find themselves in a small cupboard under the stairs.
“Damn it, I’m too tall,” Zhou Mi curses, and he almost doubles over so as to not hit his head; Ryeowook, on contrast, stands up perfectly straight with much ease.
“The door won’t open,” Ryeowook hisses, and he turns to Zhou Mi. “What do we do?”
But Zhou Mi only stares at him. “Isn’t it obvious,” he asks, and when Ryeowook shakes his head he pulls out his wand and-wait, wand, what?-points it at the door.
Alohomora!
Donghae, Eunhyuk, and Hankyung open their door and find themselves at the base of a rather intimidating volcano.
“You think this is where Ganondorf gets his lava?” Eunhyuk asks and Donghae merely shrugs (“I can’t find anything on Ganondorf and lava anywhere on Wikipedia.”). “But really, I wonder what a volcano is doing behind closed doors.”
“Be on your guard,” Hankyung warns, all before Donghae shrieks in surprise, and though two men are quickly alerted at first they soon find it to be a false alarm.
“A ring!” Donghae exclaims, and he shows it off to Eunhyuk. “Early engagement ring?”
Eunhyuk shrugs. “Sure, why not.” He pauses to turn to the top of the volcano. “Shall we, then?”
Leeteuk, Siwon, and Kangin open their door and find themselves in Narnia.
“Siwon!” a voice suddenly calls, and all three men turn to find what appears to be a half goat half man breed galloping towards them. “Siwon, Aslan’s been waiting for your report. He told me to come fetch you. Right this way, yeah?”
“Aslan?” Kangin repeats, but Leeteuk only shrugs knowingly before following Siwon and what has been introduced as a faun.
Henry and Kyuhyun open their door and find themselves in a hedge maze, face to face with a gigantic Sphinx.
“So we just have to answer your riddles?” Kyuhyun asks the Sphinx, and it nods some form of yes.
“Your life depends on your answer. The more you get wrong, the more you die. Ready to start?”
“Naturally,” Kyuhyun says with a confident smirk, though his confidence is mostly due to the fact that the Sphinx plays to his power perfectly. But about ten percent of it is the fact that, even if Kyuhyun had gotten a riddle wrong, the Sphinx did not know about the extra 1UP Zhou Mi had given him before splitting ways..
Heechul, Kibum, Yesung, and Shindong all return at roughly the same time, and it worries them slightly that no one else has returned.
“What’d you have to do?” Heechul asks the other group curiously. “We ended up in a bar, and the bartender handed us this clue called a Road Block. Basically one of us had to chug a certain amount of beer, so Kibum did that.”
“Ya,” is all Kibum replies as a confirmation, and Shindong laughs.
“We had to use logic to pick out the flask containing the right potion. And after Yesung told me that he’d seen the middle one being the correct flask, I sorta just swallowed all of the other six until we got it right.”
“He even drank the poisons,” Yesung adds in disbelief, “and he didn’t feel anything.”
“Super stomach for you,” Heechul says quietly, turning to the other four doors once more. “So now… I guess all we can do is to wait?”
“…yeah.”
Zhou Mi and Ryeowook don’t exactly expect to run into Voldemort, though after having crossed Mewtwo and Ganondorf it isn’t exactly surprising.
Almost instinctively, Zhou Mi throws an Expelliarmus spell, which does little to nothing against him.
“Wait, don’t attack!” Voldemort exclaims, which definitely throws both Zhou Mi and Ryeowook off guard. “Naw, I’m your homeboy, don’t attack!”
“…what?” And that’s when Voldemort shares with them his story, how he and Ganondorf are rivals, how Voldemort will do anything to realize the downfall of Ganondorf….
“I’ll worry about the switch, yo,” Voldemort says, shooing the two men away. “You worry about saving your friend, yeah? If you know what’s good, naw mean?”
“Uh… all right, then.”
“It looks rather… dangerous,” Eunhyuk mutters as he peers over the ledge, watching the bubbling lava below. “I wonder if this is where Ganondorf disposes of his subjects.”
Hankyung shrugs. “It’s possible. But we should really consider getting out of here. It’s dangerous.”
“Yeah.” The two men turn to leave and walk a few steps, though they quickly notice that Donghae doesn’t move with them.
“…Donghae?”
“It’s so precious,” Donghae mutters, and Eunhyuk vaguely catches the glint of the ring Donghae’s got in his hands. “Precious ring Eunhyuk gave to me, so nice, so….”
And he accidentally drops the ring. It bounces once onto the hard ground, but it never returns; Donghae watches with wide eyes as the ring falls into the abyss of lava below them.
And then, a strange sound fills the air, and it only lasts for a few seconds. And even though none of them have a clue what it means, it leaves them with the feeling that they might’ve just won the game of life.
“What has four legs at birth, two legs while growing up, and three legs near death?”
“A human being.”
“This thing is something that people use with other people, but never with themselves.”
“Their name.”
“What is black, white, and read all over?”
“Insufficient information. Multiple answers exist, including (but are not limited to) a newspaper and a sunburned zebra.”
“If red houses are made out of red bricks, yellow houses are made out of yellow bricks, and blue houses are made out of blue bricks, what are green houses made out of?”
“Glass.”
And with that, the Sphinx explodes into millions of stony pieces.
Kangin is forced to wait outside the tent because he doesn’t believe in God, though he frankly doesn’t have a clue what this has to do with seeing some guy named Aslan. And though he’s curious as to why Leeteuk has to extend his angel wings upon meeting this Aslan, Kangin ultimately decides he doesn’t care much for it.
When Siwon and Leeteuk emerge from the tent a half hour later, he notes the grins upon their faces.
“Switch has been taken care of,” Siwon informs, and though Kangin doesn’t have a clue what’s just happened he merely accepts this and walks with the both of them back to the lamppost they’d started at.
“UMMAR AND APPA ARE LATE~!” eleven men call out by the time Leeteuk, Kangin, and Siwon return.
“Sorry,” Leeteuk apologizes, and then he takes a look around. “So we’re good?”
They all point up to the ceiling, and Leeteuk looks up to find a spiral stairway protruding from the ceiling.
“Is it… going to come down anytime soon?”
“Nope,” Heechul replies, turning to the others evilly.
“Oh no,” Leeteuk manages, all before twelve men yell “CARRY US UMMAR, PL0X.”
It takes about fifteen minutes for Leeteuk and Henry to get everyone up to the stairwell, and it takes another fifteen minutes or so to climb it to the top. And it takes yet another fifteen minutes of walking down the next hallway before they realize the ceiling’s falling down on them.
“Run!” Leeteuk yells, though none of them need telling twice. But it’s almost an infinite hallway, and no matter how long they run for the end of the hallway never seems to-
“There!” someone yells, and almost like a sunrise a door emerges from the horizon.
Henry acts instinctively, and once he latches his hands onto the two people closest to him he vanishes. Moments later he returns with the first person, only to disappear again with someone else-and the process continues for quite some time, and it takes quite a while since he’s only transporting one person at a time….
But the ceiling is merciless and the end of the hallway is tantalizing, and somehow they still haven’t gotten to the door. And it’s only Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun left running, and though their legs are long enough to make the distance shorter it also makes them taller-and Kyuhyun is positive that in moments the ceiling would crash onto his head….
He feels his hair touching the ceiling when Henry arrives with Leeteuk, and the two turn instinctively to Kyuhyun, because Zhou Mi’s ahead of the two.
“No, him!” Kyuhyun yells, pointing at Zhou Mi, and though Henry gives Kyuhyun a confused look Leeteuk only nods and flies them over Zhou Mi.
“No, Kui Xian-” is the last he hears from Zhou Mi before he vanishes, and it’s then that Kyuhyun comes to a complete stop, winded and exhausted from having run so much….
He can feel the ceiling on his head, and he accepts this quite easily as he closes his eyes and smiles.
“Zhou Mi… thank you.”
And with that, the ceiling gives way and crashes onto the floor.
Nine men jump when they hear the ceiling collapse, but only one bothers to count their numbers; three already know.
“Where’s Kyuhyun?” Shindong asks once he realizes they aren’t all there, and Ryeowook gasps at the realization.
“Is he…?” begins Donghae, and he runs back to the door to check-but when he opens the door all he finds is a flat land of dust and ceiling.
“cgblkdis;ahwbg0glajeoigwwligh,GB’!” Henry sobs, turning to Kibum’s shoulder.
“It’s not so bad,” Zhou Mi manages bitterly, and most of the men turn to him curiously. “He’s still alive.”
“He is?” everyone but Leeteuk asks in utter shock, and Donghae takes another peek at the rubble through the doorway.
“Ah, so this is what you meant,” Leeteuk says quietly, and their audition returns to mind. “So where is he, then?”
“He’s back at the beginning of the world, or level I guess.” Zhou Mi hums to himself, scratching his chin. “I suppose that would be at the entrance to the castle?”
“All right,” says Leeteuk, and then he turns to Henry. “Take him there, won’t you?”
“Yeah, of course.” And he gives Kibum one last nod before latching onto Zhou Mi, and within a second they’re both gone.
The remaining eleven men stand in silence for several moments before Kangin steps forward. “We need to find Sungmin,” he says. “We’re wasting time just standing here.”
“…yeah.”
At the end of the much shorter hallway is a door, and on the other side they find a floating Ganondorf and Sungmin’s ice crystal prison suspended in mid air.
The battle begins almost immediately; Hankyung unsheathes his sword (“-wait, sword, what?”) and runs forward, and the two begin a battle that appears to be a cross of sword fighting and some form of martial arts. But Ganondorf himself isn’t using a sword, using his cuffs as a shield to defend Hankyung’s attacks.
“He’s buying us time,” Heechul informs the rest of them as they merely watch their fight. “Leeteuk, we need a plan. Now.”
“…right.” And after several minutes of discussing, and after putting on their earplugs, their plan goes into effect. Kibum moves closer to Hankyung and turns to Leeteuk, and after the latter’s wings fully envelop himself Kibum closes his eyes and concentrates.
“ARGHHHHH!” Ganondorf shrieks suddenly, and as he turns to pull out the light arrow pierced into his back, Hankyung takes the opportunity to strike him with the sword.
“Again!” Leeteuk yells, and Kibum shoots another arrow of light at Leeteuk’s wings, which then reflect the arrow in Ganondorf’s… general direction… sort of.
“You have to make sure you aim the arrows properly, Leeteuk!” Donghae yells, from somewhere insignificant to the battle. But Ganondorf seems to have caught on, and instead of focusing on defense from Hankyung he decides on a more offensive approach, turning to Kibum before throwing a ball of energy in his direction.
…but before Kibum can even attempt at dodging the attack the ball of energy suddenly changes direction, and within seconds Shindong manages to swallow it whole. And before Ganondorf has the chance to attack again Hankyung strikes at him once more.
“Kibum!” and when Kibum turns he finds Henry, Kyuhyun, and Zhou Mi running to his direction. “Kibum, are you okay?”
“…yeah,” he replies, and he allows Henry to run into his arms.
“I don’t know what I would’ve done if you’d died,” Henry says into his shirt, and at the least Kibum is appreciative that it’s in the language he actually understands. “It was bad enough when I thought Kyuhyun had died, but if it’d been you….”
“Henry, I’m fine-”
“…but in case I never get the chance to say something like this ever again,” continues Henry, and he catches Kibum’s eyes for one second before squeezing them shut.
“I love you.”
And Kibum, who immediately thinks of Yesung’s warning, doesn’t take even a second to reply with “I know.” But before Kibum can bend down to kiss Henry reassuringly, they’re interrupted by Leeteuk’s “PLAN INITIATING!”
And that’s when Ganondorf realizes that somehow, just somehow, Kangin had snuck his way over to the ground below the ice crystal prison, but before Ganondorf can do anything about Ryeowook’s singing fills the room. And though it sounds somewhat pleasant of a tune, the volume is agonizing, his ears feel like they’re going to explode….
Sungmin’s prison shatters, and Sungmin plummets to the ground; Kangin catches him and quickly places ear plugs over his ears, and Sungmin only awakens and smiles appreciatively at his savior before closing his eyes once more.
And suddenly a flash blinds the entire room, which only amplify Ganondorf’s cries of agony. A slash of the sword, the wailing stops, and the flash fades away.
Hankyung removes his shades, turns to the beheaded Ganondorf, and tosses the sword onto his body.
“It’s over,” Hankyung breathes, and the fourteen other men can’t possibly agree more.
Epilogue
“UMMAR,” fourteen men whine while chowing down on Beijing Fried Rice in Leeteuk’s apartment. “WE’RE BORED.”
“Figures,” Leeteuk says with a laugh, turning to everyone in turn. He shakes his head at Heechul and Siwon, who are both trying to get Hankyung’s attention at the same time; he smiles at Sungmin, who’s wearing a carefree smile upon his face; he laughs at Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi, who’re both busy stealing glances at Sungmin; he turns away at Donghae, who’s busy trying to teach a not-very-interested-but-faking-it-anyway Eunhyuk how to make Origami tin hats; he sighs at Ryeowook, who is currently ignoring Yesung’s pleas to not feed Ddangkoma fried rice; he gags at Shindong, who’s somehow managing to down bowl after bowl of rice; and he melts at the sight of Henry snuggled up against Kibum’s side.
“Quite the reckless bunch of kids we have, you think?” Kangin whispers into Leeteuk’s ear, and Leeteuk only brushes him off as Kangin turns to their children. “Hey, how about we start a band?”
“ALL RIGHT, APPA SAYS WE SHOULD START A BAND! WE CAN DO IT!”
(“But what should we name ourselves?”
“How about Super Junior?”
“That’s a good name, I think. I like it.”
“But why Super Junior?”
“…I don’t know.”)
END.
Thanks goes to:
writerpop
xelfishx
lovingmydubu
hui_ru
tehgirlwonder
Comments are love? (And while we're on the subject of OT3s, if you have time, could you check this out? It's for my next crack fic. Thanks <3)
Saving Private Sungmin, and then some
Part 3
The fourteen men congregate in Leeteuk’s apartment much before the sun even rises.
“In the bags are the essentials,” Leeteuk explains as he hands one to each of the men. “Inside you’ll find some basic essentials-snacks, water, earplugs, facial tissues-”
“Earplugs?” Henry asks, frowning, though the frown quickly vanishes when Ryeowook gives a quiet wave.
Without further questions, the car assignments are given. Heechul, Siwon, Henry, and Kibum all ride with Hankyung; Ryeowook, Yesung, Kyuhyun, and Zhou Mi all ride with Shindong; and Kangin takes the rest.
“See you all there,” says Leeteuk, and with that their debriefing finishes.
“Just a question,” Heechul asks Henry after they’ve traveled some considerable distance. “Why is it that we all have to drive over there? Why could you just teleport us there?”
“I have to be able to see where I’m going,” Henry replies. “That, or I have to be given the specific latitude and longitude.”
“Oh… I see.”
Though Shindong has heard many variations of the song “Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall,” never in his life has he heard it sung so… beautifully.
“Why didn’t you just start your own A Capella group?” Shindong asks, and all four of his passengers shrug.
“There’s still time,” Yesung says. “I mean, after this is all done and everything?-I don’t really know what I’d be doing with my life anyway. And the other night I had a premonition where I was being booed at during a solo performance at a local church, so it’s not like they’d hate us.”
“No one would hate you guys,” Shindong says truthfully. “I mean, the way you sang that song just now?-you made it sound like a ballad, as if you were all sad that last bottle had been taken off the wall….”
“Are we there yet?” Donghae and Eunhyuk yell, and Kangin politely gives them a negative. “Are we there yet?”
“Your father said no,” Leeteuk snaps.
“UMMAR, ARE WE THERE YET?”
“NO!” Leeteuk shrieks, and after several expletives thereafter the two backseaters give up and return to playing their PSPs.
“They’re asleep, you know,” Heechul whispers into Hankyung’s ear, and Hankyung forces himself to ignore Heechul.
“I’m driving,” Hankyung reminds him, keeping his eyes on the road-but keeping focused on driving becomes oh so hard, in more ways than one, when Heechul smirks knowingly and squeezes the front of Hankyung’s pants. “Fuck, Heechul….”
“Is that a fuck fuck, or a fuck with emphasis?” asks Heechul, though with just a few strokes Hankyung is unable to respond. “I’ll take that as neither, then?”
“Both, Heechul, damn it,” and without further encouragement Heechul proceeds in finishing Hankyung’s hand job.
(And Hankyung considers himself incredibly accomplished when he manages to not only wake up the others but to also not land themselves dead off the side of the road.)
“I know you like Sungmin,” Zhou Mi whispers to Kyuhyun with a flat tone in his voice, and Kyuhyun all but sputters on his own saliva.
“W-what?-no, Zhou Mi, I told you, I don’t-”
“I don’t mind,” Zhou Mi continues, and it effectively shuts Kyuhyun up in surprise. “I mean, I minded having to share you with StarCraft, but if it’s Sungmin I won’t mind, because it’d probably be nothing compared to your love for StarCraft anyway.”
“Zhou Mi, I….” Kyuhyun sighs, shaking his head. “I’m just worried about him, that’s all. It’s nothing more, I swear.”
“Which is why you moaned his name and not mine, the last time we had sex with each other?”
“…oh.” Kyuhyun bites his lip. “Look, Zhou Mi-”
“Kui Xian, really, I don’t mind.”
“Yes you do.”
“No, I don’t! I mean, as long as you share him with me….”
“Some things never change,” Kyuhyun says with a laugh, and he turns to kiss Zhou Mi on the cheek before being punched playfully at his side.
“Kangin, I think we’re lost.”
“No we’re not, Leeteuk! I know perfectly where we are!”
“…but we passed that gas station half an hour ago, I’m certain of it!”
“No, Leeteuk, it’s a common gas company, I’m sure you’re just imagining-”
“Damn it, Kangin, stop being such a guy! Just stop by the next gas station and ask for directions.”
“Damn it, Leeteuk, stop being such a woman and insisting we’re lost!”
“Hyukkie, umma and appa are fighting! ( D= )”
“Hey Hae, do you think we should ask umma and appa if we’re there yet? ( =O )”
“Okay~! ( XD )”
“Donghae!” Kangin yells, “I forbid you from having incestuous relationship with your brother. Same goes to you, Eunhyuk. Have I made myself clear?”
“BUT, BUT. ( ;A; )”
“Have I made myself clear?”
“Fine….” And from that moment on, or at least until they forget, neither Donghae nor Eunhyuk calls Kangin and Leeteuk appa and umma, because Donghae decides that incestuous relationships are not worth the effort if it means no touching Eunhyuk.
Four hours later all three vehicles are parked outside Ganon’s castle, though Hankyung’s and Shindong’s cars had actually arrived half an hour earlier. And it’s only after Heechul calms downs Leeteuk’s angry rants regarding Kangin’s refusal to accept being lost that Leeteuk gives them their one last pep talk-though it isn’t really anything new. And it’s really only after they break from their huddle when they realize their next matter of concern.
“The castle has a moat,” Heechul deadpans. “And it’s filled with fucking lava.”
Henry slaps his forehead. “Damn it, I hope this isn’t like Ocarina of Time,” and then he goes to explain the different sages that had built a bridge for Link to enter the castle. “And do you know how long it took to visit the six temples to find those sages?”
“Is it really a problem, though?” asks Ryeowook, peering over the ledge. “I mean, you couldn’t teleport people to the other side?-and Leeteuk could just fly.”
“…oh. Right.” And so Leeteuk and Henry begin moving everyone to the other side of the moat, the latter doing so much more quickly. Once on the other side they walk for a bit, sneaking through a mysteriously-left-open door, and ultimately they find their way inside.
“It’s Ocarina of Time!” Henry exclaims suddenly, and he runs forward, spinning around to take a good look at the room. “…well not really, because this castle kinda reminds me more of Luigi’s Manson.”
“Do you have a clue what he’s talking about?”
“No, not really.”
“All right!” Leeteuk exclaims, clapping his hands that has Kangin into a fit of snickers under his breath. “Split into your groups!-Eunhyuk, Kangin, just find another group to tag along with.”
“Roger,” both reply, and with that the fourteen disperse.
Ryeowook and Zhou Mi open their door and find themselves in a small cupboard under the stairs.
“Damn it, I’m too tall,” Zhou Mi curses, and he almost doubles over so as to not hit his head; Ryeowook, on contrast, stands up perfectly straight with much ease.
“The door won’t open,” Ryeowook hisses, and he turns to Zhou Mi. “What do we do?”
But Zhou Mi only stares at him. “Isn’t it obvious,” he asks, and when Ryeowook shakes his head he pulls out his wand and-wait, wand, what?-points it at the door.
Alohomora!
Donghae, Eunhyuk, and Hankyung open their door and find themselves at the base of a rather intimidating volcano.
“You think this is where Ganondorf gets his lava?” Eunhyuk asks and Donghae merely shrugs (“I can’t find anything on Ganondorf and lava anywhere on Wikipedia.”). “But really, I wonder what a volcano is doing behind closed doors.”
“Be on your guard,” Hankyung warns, all before Donghae shrieks in surprise, and though two men are quickly alerted at first they soon find it to be a false alarm.
“A ring!” Donghae exclaims, and he shows it off to Eunhyuk. “Early engagement ring?”
Eunhyuk shrugs. “Sure, why not.” He pauses to turn to the top of the volcano. “Shall we, then?”
Leeteuk, Siwon, and Kangin open their door and find themselves in Narnia.
“Siwon!” a voice suddenly calls, and all three men turn to find what appears to be a half goat half man breed galloping towards them. “Siwon, Aslan’s been waiting for your report. He told me to come fetch you. Right this way, yeah?”
“Aslan?” Kangin repeats, but Leeteuk only shrugs knowingly before following Siwon and what has been introduced as a faun.
Henry and Kyuhyun open their door and find themselves in a hedge maze, face to face with a gigantic Sphinx.
“So we just have to answer your riddles?” Kyuhyun asks the Sphinx, and it nods some form of yes.
“Your life depends on your answer. The more you get wrong, the more you die. Ready to start?”
“Naturally,” Kyuhyun says with a confident smirk, though his confidence is mostly due to the fact that the Sphinx plays to his power perfectly. But about ten percent of it is the fact that, even if Kyuhyun had gotten a riddle wrong, the Sphinx did not know about the extra 1UP Zhou Mi had given him before splitting ways..
Heechul, Kibum, Yesung, and Shindong all return at roughly the same time, and it worries them slightly that no one else has returned.
“What’d you have to do?” Heechul asks the other group curiously. “We ended up in a bar, and the bartender handed us this clue called a Road Block. Basically one of us had to chug a certain amount of beer, so Kibum did that.”
“Ya,” is all Kibum replies as a confirmation, and Shindong laughs.
“We had to use logic to pick out the flask containing the right potion. And after Yesung told me that he’d seen the middle one being the correct flask, I sorta just swallowed all of the other six until we got it right.”
“He even drank the poisons,” Yesung adds in disbelief, “and he didn’t feel anything.”
“Super stomach for you,” Heechul says quietly, turning to the other four doors once more. “So now… I guess all we can do is to wait?”
“…yeah.”
Zhou Mi and Ryeowook don’t exactly expect to run into Voldemort, though after having crossed Mewtwo and Ganondorf it isn’t exactly surprising.
Almost instinctively, Zhou Mi throws an Expelliarmus spell, which does little to nothing against him.
“Wait, don’t attack!” Voldemort exclaims, which definitely throws both Zhou Mi and Ryeowook off guard. “Naw, I’m your homeboy, don’t attack!”
“…what?” And that’s when Voldemort shares with them his story, how he and Ganondorf are rivals, how Voldemort will do anything to realize the downfall of Ganondorf….
“I’ll worry about the switch, yo,” Voldemort says, shooing the two men away. “You worry about saving your friend, yeah? If you know what’s good, naw mean?”
“Uh… all right, then.”
“It looks rather… dangerous,” Eunhyuk mutters as he peers over the ledge, watching the bubbling lava below. “I wonder if this is where Ganondorf disposes of his subjects.”
Hankyung shrugs. “It’s possible. But we should really consider getting out of here. It’s dangerous.”
“Yeah.” The two men turn to leave and walk a few steps, though they quickly notice that Donghae doesn’t move with them.
“…Donghae?”
“It’s so precious,” Donghae mutters, and Eunhyuk vaguely catches the glint of the ring Donghae’s got in his hands. “Precious ring Eunhyuk gave to me, so nice, so….”
And he accidentally drops the ring. It bounces once onto the hard ground, but it never returns; Donghae watches with wide eyes as the ring falls into the abyss of lava below them.
And then, a strange sound fills the air, and it only lasts for a few seconds. And even though none of them have a clue what it means, it leaves them with the feeling that they might’ve just won the game of life.
“What has four legs at birth, two legs while growing up, and three legs near death?”
“A human being.”
“This thing is something that people use with other people, but never with themselves.”
“Their name.”
“What is black, white, and read all over?”
“Insufficient information. Multiple answers exist, including (but are not limited to) a newspaper and a sunburned zebra.”
“If red houses are made out of red bricks, yellow houses are made out of yellow bricks, and blue houses are made out of blue bricks, what are green houses made out of?”
“Glass.”
And with that, the Sphinx explodes into millions of stony pieces.
Kangin is forced to wait outside the tent because he doesn’t believe in God, though he frankly doesn’t have a clue what this has to do with seeing some guy named Aslan. And though he’s curious as to why Leeteuk has to extend his angel wings upon meeting this Aslan, Kangin ultimately decides he doesn’t care much for it.
When Siwon and Leeteuk emerge from the tent a half hour later, he notes the grins upon their faces.
“Switch has been taken care of,” Siwon informs, and though Kangin doesn’t have a clue what’s just happened he merely accepts this and walks with the both of them back to the lamppost they’d started at.
“UMMAR AND APPA ARE LATE~!” eleven men call out by the time Leeteuk, Kangin, and Siwon return.
“Sorry,” Leeteuk apologizes, and then he takes a look around. “So we’re good?”
They all point up to the ceiling, and Leeteuk looks up to find a spiral stairway protruding from the ceiling.
“Is it… going to come down anytime soon?”
“Nope,” Heechul replies, turning to the others evilly.
“Oh no,” Leeteuk manages, all before twelve men yell “CARRY US UMMAR, PL0X.”
It takes about fifteen minutes for Leeteuk and Henry to get everyone up to the stairwell, and it takes another fifteen minutes or so to climb it to the top. And it takes yet another fifteen minutes of walking down the next hallway before they realize the ceiling’s falling down on them.
“Run!” Leeteuk yells, though none of them need telling twice. But it’s almost an infinite hallway, and no matter how long they run for the end of the hallway never seems to-
“There!” someone yells, and almost like a sunrise a door emerges from the horizon.
Henry acts instinctively, and once he latches his hands onto the two people closest to him he vanishes. Moments later he returns with the first person, only to disappear again with someone else-and the process continues for quite some time, and it takes quite a while since he’s only transporting one person at a time….
But the ceiling is merciless and the end of the hallway is tantalizing, and somehow they still haven’t gotten to the door. And it’s only Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun left running, and though their legs are long enough to make the distance shorter it also makes them taller-and Kyuhyun is positive that in moments the ceiling would crash onto his head….
He feels his hair touching the ceiling when Henry arrives with Leeteuk, and the two turn instinctively to Kyuhyun, because Zhou Mi’s ahead of the two.
“No, him!” Kyuhyun yells, pointing at Zhou Mi, and though Henry gives Kyuhyun a confused look Leeteuk only nods and flies them over Zhou Mi.
“No, Kui Xian-” is the last he hears from Zhou Mi before he vanishes, and it’s then that Kyuhyun comes to a complete stop, winded and exhausted from having run so much….
He can feel the ceiling on his head, and he accepts this quite easily as he closes his eyes and smiles.
“Zhou Mi… thank you.”
And with that, the ceiling gives way and crashes onto the floor.
Nine men jump when they hear the ceiling collapse, but only one bothers to count their numbers; three already know.
“Where’s Kyuhyun?” Shindong asks once he realizes they aren’t all there, and Ryeowook gasps at the realization.
“Is he…?” begins Donghae, and he runs back to the door to check-but when he opens the door all he finds is a flat land of dust and ceiling.
“cgblkdis;ahwbg0glajeoigwwligh,GB’!” Henry sobs, turning to Kibum’s shoulder.
“It’s not so bad,” Zhou Mi manages bitterly, and most of the men turn to him curiously. “He’s still alive.”
“He is?” everyone but Leeteuk asks in utter shock, and Donghae takes another peek at the rubble through the doorway.
“Ah, so this is what you meant,” Leeteuk says quietly, and their audition returns to mind. “So where is he, then?”
“He’s back at the beginning of the world, or level I guess.” Zhou Mi hums to himself, scratching his chin. “I suppose that would be at the entrance to the castle?”
“All right,” says Leeteuk, and then he turns to Henry. “Take him there, won’t you?”
“Yeah, of course.” And he gives Kibum one last nod before latching onto Zhou Mi, and within a second they’re both gone.
The remaining eleven men stand in silence for several moments before Kangin steps forward. “We need to find Sungmin,” he says. “We’re wasting time just standing here.”
“…yeah.”
At the end of the much shorter hallway is a door, and on the other side they find a floating Ganondorf and Sungmin’s ice crystal prison suspended in mid air.
The battle begins almost immediately; Hankyung unsheathes his sword (“-wait, sword, what?”) and runs forward, and the two begin a battle that appears to be a cross of sword fighting and some form of martial arts. But Ganondorf himself isn’t using a sword, using his cuffs as a shield to defend Hankyung’s attacks.
“He’s buying us time,” Heechul informs the rest of them as they merely watch their fight. “Leeteuk, we need a plan. Now.”
“…right.” And after several minutes of discussing, and after putting on their earplugs, their plan goes into effect. Kibum moves closer to Hankyung and turns to Leeteuk, and after the latter’s wings fully envelop himself Kibum closes his eyes and concentrates.
“ARGHHHHH!” Ganondorf shrieks suddenly, and as he turns to pull out the light arrow pierced into his back, Hankyung takes the opportunity to strike him with the sword.
“Again!” Leeteuk yells, and Kibum shoots another arrow of light at Leeteuk’s wings, which then reflect the arrow in Ganondorf’s… general direction… sort of.
“You have to make sure you aim the arrows properly, Leeteuk!” Donghae yells, from somewhere insignificant to the battle. But Ganondorf seems to have caught on, and instead of focusing on defense from Hankyung he decides on a more offensive approach, turning to Kibum before throwing a ball of energy in his direction.
…but before Kibum can even attempt at dodging the attack the ball of energy suddenly changes direction, and within seconds Shindong manages to swallow it whole. And before Ganondorf has the chance to attack again Hankyung strikes at him once more.
“Kibum!” and when Kibum turns he finds Henry, Kyuhyun, and Zhou Mi running to his direction. “Kibum, are you okay?”
“…yeah,” he replies, and he allows Henry to run into his arms.
“I don’t know what I would’ve done if you’d died,” Henry says into his shirt, and at the least Kibum is appreciative that it’s in the language he actually understands. “It was bad enough when I thought Kyuhyun had died, but if it’d been you….”
“Henry, I’m fine-”
“…but in case I never get the chance to say something like this ever again,” continues Henry, and he catches Kibum’s eyes for one second before squeezing them shut.
“I love you.”
And Kibum, who immediately thinks of Yesung’s warning, doesn’t take even a second to reply with “I know.” But before Kibum can bend down to kiss Henry reassuringly, they’re interrupted by Leeteuk’s “PLAN INITIATING!”
And that’s when Ganondorf realizes that somehow, just somehow, Kangin had snuck his way over to the ground below the ice crystal prison, but before Ganondorf can do anything about Ryeowook’s singing fills the room. And though it sounds somewhat pleasant of a tune, the volume is agonizing, his ears feel like they’re going to explode….
Sungmin’s prison shatters, and Sungmin plummets to the ground; Kangin catches him and quickly places ear plugs over his ears, and Sungmin only awakens and smiles appreciatively at his savior before closing his eyes once more.
And suddenly a flash blinds the entire room, which only amplify Ganondorf’s cries of agony. A slash of the sword, the wailing stops, and the flash fades away.
Hankyung removes his shades, turns to the beheaded Ganondorf, and tosses the sword onto his body.
“It’s over,” Hankyung breathes, and the fourteen other men can’t possibly agree more.
Epilogue
“UMMAR,” fourteen men whine while chowing down on Beijing Fried Rice in Leeteuk’s apartment. “WE’RE BORED.”
“Figures,” Leeteuk says with a laugh, turning to everyone in turn. He shakes his head at Heechul and Siwon, who are both trying to get Hankyung’s attention at the same time; he smiles at Sungmin, who’s wearing a carefree smile upon his face; he laughs at Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi, who’re both busy stealing glances at Sungmin; he turns away at Donghae, who’s busy trying to teach a not-very-interested-but-faking-it-anyway Eunhyuk how to make Origami tin hats; he sighs at Ryeowook, who is currently ignoring Yesung’s pleas to not feed Ddangkoma fried rice; he gags at Shindong, who’s somehow managing to down bowl after bowl of rice; and he melts at the sight of Henry snuggled up against Kibum’s side.
“Quite the reckless bunch of kids we have, you think?” Kangin whispers into Leeteuk’s ear, and Leeteuk only brushes him off as Kangin turns to their children. “Hey, how about we start a band?”
“ALL RIGHT, APPA SAYS WE SHOULD START A BAND! WE CAN DO IT!”
(“But what should we name ourselves?”
“How about Super Junior?”
“That’s a good name, I think. I like it.”
“But why Super Junior?”
“…I don’t know.”)
END.
Thanks goes to:
writerpop
xelfishx
lovingmydubu
hui_ru
tehgirlwonder
Comments are love? (And while we're on the subject of OT3s, if you have time, could you check this out? It's for my next crack fic. Thanks <3)