I actually found those tips really annoying and aggravating in ways I can't properly articulate.
"Reassure your family that you're still the same"? Well too bad, because I'm not the same. Also, I'm not going to give homophobic relatives the benefit of the doubt that maybe they're not hateful jerks, they're just really busy!
For sure. We can totally see how it can be "annoying and aggravating" and even "pretty rage-inducing" for those who have to deal with people who are not just well-meaning but ignorant and confused and are in truth, as you put it, "hateful jerks". Sometimes you just have to stop pretending everything is rosy, name a thing for what it is and move on with your own life.
In such cases people really need to hear and follow the other pieces of the advice, such as:
o Let your family's judgments be theirs to work on o Don't wait for your family's attitude to change to have a special holiday o If it is too difficult to be with your family, create your own holiday gathering with friends and loved ones
but sometimes it takes a while for people to notice it also says those things, because they are so busy focusing on the stuff that they wish might happen.
This is a post in response to the few misguided (and unfortunately anry) souls that are using the binet holiday posting to vent underlying frustrations as to the OBVIOUS difficulty we all face in coming out.... Binet isnt telling anyone to put up with disrespect or to cater to the homo-bi-trans-phobic attitudes of anyone,family included. What the site posting IS saying is that there are certain common problems many of us face when coming out/gender transitioning etc(since this is not yet a Utopia,sorry),and here are a few ways of dealing with them. Thats it. Are we all so frustrated and militantly seperatist that we cannot listen to suggestions about common,albeit unfortunate, obstacles of coming out that many face without becoming venomously fixated,insulted and coo-coo (not the clinical term) over aforementioned social troubleshooting tips. C'mon lets reserve our anger (if we must) for those who are truly against equality and not for the nice people at binet who extend much needed services in our communities... And remember, Have A
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It is serious and many people find it helpful, but obviously everyone's situation is different. There is actually no such thing as "one size fits all" in real life.
and you don't even link pflag directly, you just send people to the wikipedia.
I find this dishonest. Not that binetusa had a great rep with me to start with, but you could do what high school kids are taught to do and site your damn sources.
your post says "liberally adapted from" but it is actually word-for-word plagiarism.
Perhaps 5 or 6 years ago, (and about 2 iterations ago from the current redesign of the current PFLAG Website) this was passed to the New York Area Bisexual Network (aka nyabn) from a small local PFLAG Group, who got it from member of another another local PFLAG Group, who had got it from another local PFLAG Group, etc., etc. Since our Bisexual/Pansexual Group had been looking for something to put up to help LGBT people who were having a hard time at the Holidays and yet was not specific to any one religion or denomination this seemed to be a reasonable thing with a good pedigree. After all, PFLAG is a very well respected group in the LGBT and Progressive Community.
However, at that time it wasn't posted on that version of the PFLAG Website, I know because I personally checked for it several times. Since we had never seen the original, only a copy that had been passed on, we had no way of knowing if it was the original words or if it had been
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"Reassure your family that you're still the same"? Well too bad, because I'm not the same. Also, I'm not going to give homophobic relatives the benefit of the doubt that maybe they're not hateful jerks, they're just really busy!
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In such cases people really need to hear and follow the other pieces of the advice, such as:
o Let your family's judgments be theirs to work on
o Don't wait for your family's attitude to change to have a special holiday
o If it is too difficult to be with your family, create your own holiday gathering with friends and loved ones
but sometimes it takes a while for people to notice it also says those things, because they are so busy focusing on the stuff that they wish might happen.
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http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=278
and you don't even link pflag directly, you just send people to the wikipedia.
I find this dishonest. Not that binetusa had a great rep with me to start with, but you could do what high school kids are taught to do and site your damn sources.
Reply
Perhaps 5 or 6 years ago, (and about 2 iterations ago from the current redesign of the current PFLAG Website) this was passed to the New York Area Bisexual Network (aka nyabn) from a small local PFLAG Group, who got it from member of another another local PFLAG Group, who had got it from another local PFLAG Group, etc., etc. Since our Bisexual/Pansexual Group had been looking for something to put up to help LGBT people who were having a hard time at the Holidays and yet was not specific to any one religion or denomination this seemed to be a reasonable thing with a good pedigree. After all, PFLAG is a very well respected group in the LGBT and Progressive Community.
However, at that time it wasn't posted on that version of the PFLAG Website, I know because I personally checked for it several times. Since we had never seen the original, only a copy that had been passed on, we had no way of knowing if it was the original words or if it had been ( ... )
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