Fuck you, eBay ( Read more... )

Holy Fuck, I swear to God, if it wasn't so fucking early, it would be like 10 AM or something. But it's HELLA early, so it's like 5 AM. GodDAMN ( Read more... )

What do you get when you put 50 environmentalists and 50 retards in one room?

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YOU GET 50 PEOPLE. HAW HAW HAW.

Fuck that's hilarious.
I'm that good.

Brought to you by: Spandex.

Welcome back to Gifford. Today's guests are here to talk about random funny moments in their lives. I'm your host, General Gifford. Our next guest has embarrassed and personally hurt a close friend only once each, but he remembers them both very clearly... AND, he's also been in an embarrassing situation with his friend.

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Oh, my God. Hahahaha. You will not BELIEVE what I just went through. Hahahahaha, holy fucking shit ( Read more... )

I bet you all of those 12 year-old girls that created numerous fan-pages about Katie Holmes totally fucking regret choosing her as their "omg shes super cute i love her shes soooo nice like she gives 2 charitee n evrythin"-Idol by now.

This is kind of what their gallery sections must look like:

"Before Tom Cruise


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It's that time of the year again! The time when your resident awesomeness-personification, General Gifford (that's me!! "OOMGLOL^^!!"), makes fun of a LiveJournal community!!

After laughing at awesomeasians and nonuglylesbians, time to laugh at the mostest stupiderest LiveJournal communities of the season: The Anglophilesanglophiles. People who apparently seek illegal sexual ( Read more... )

From Lindsayextacydrowning1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me ( Read more... )

Meanwhile... over in Cheney, Canada....

I was watching Mlada, when, all of a sudden, one of the ballet dancers felt this incredible urge to lift up her dress and show me her unclothed vagina! Oh, my!


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Hello, everyone!!

Happy Earth Day! Yeah! Alright! Wooo! Don't polute today! Ride a bike! Walk! Don't fart! And whatever you do, DON'T RECYCLE. Except for soda cans. Those are worth it.

To celebrate such a stupid holiday in a non-conformist fashion, I'm leaving to go to the dirtiest, most poluted city in civilization:


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