I'm so very glad summer is happening and all my friends are coming home. Last summer before college. Somehow I don't think i'll have too much trouble leaving. I wonder if Stockton will let me do a semester abroad. I want to find a new place that I could see myself living, so when college is done I can just head on out ( Read more... )

so i'm going to stockton with shawn sepp tomorrow to hopefully figure out housing and junk. I got in for those who i haven't told yet, I honestly don't know who i haven't. Anyway I'm nervous as all hell about everything. I hope i get housing and all ok. Sepp and I were talking about maybe rooming together, which would be pretty sweet ( Read more... )

I wish I had a home. A house is a building, not a home. A home is a person. A home is a place to go to renew your strength against the harsher elements of life. I wish I had a home.

A devoted meditator, after years concentrating on a particular mantra, had attained enough insight to begin teaching. The student's humility was far from perfect, but the teachers at the monastery were not worried ( Read more... )

grr sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy

i'm so tired...

tomorrow's going to really suck

love me

So everything got sent ok to Stockton, hopefully I'll get in, I'm ready to leave I think ( Read more... )

Artists supposedly do their best work when they're suicidal. I think I'm half a step away, if at all, from being a full blown alcoholic. I pray a lot when i'm in pain, mental and emotional usually not physical pain. I'm useless, I have no job and I'm not in school. I have no license, no valid ID, and i'm not registered to vote. I haven't had a ( Read more... )

Ok, I've decided that I've been down long enough. I can't keep hiding in and perpetuating this pain, it's useless here. I need to let my faith show me my strength again. That's the one talent i know i have, that i know is worthwhile. I can survive any situation, i may hurt and fall and linger, but i will not lose faith ( Read more... )

I've wanted to go for a walk in the rain all day, now it's technically tomorrow so i guess i've failed, but i think i'll go out anyway despite the late hour. I love the rain like i love the gentle spring wind on an overcast day when everything is soft. When it rains like it's raining now i can feel everything around me, it's the most amazing ( Read more... )

so i've decided planning out what i'm gonna paint is for suckers. i'm just gonna get a whole bunch of canvas/canvas-board and as often as possible push some paint around. i need to learn to cut my paints better... or at all, at all is good. i'm too in love with the straight up un-cut clay that is oil paint. it will never fucking dry and colors ( Read more... )