the past three or four times i actually thought to check my email, i had 666 messages in my inbox. maybe i've made enough jokes about being the antichrist that someone wants to recruit me ( Read more... )

i'm an aunt ( Read more... )

i love fucking with my pets ( Read more... )

a boy telling me he was going to wait outside of my house to chloroform & kidnap me so he could leave me in the woods somewhere should probably send me running, but i'm a sick bitch, so i instead found it to be strangely darling ( Read more... )

In the year 2007 I resolve to:
Dedicate my life to making someone else's horribly miserable.

Get your resolution here.

this is just funny becaaaaauuuuuse i kind of had that planned, anyway. sucks for them, huh? now even the power of the internerd is behind me ( Read more... )

justin: you're stupid.
me: your mom's stupid.
justin: you're stupid.
me: well, your mom is dumber, and she only taught you half of what she knows.

i always laugh the hardest at my own jokes. i'm okay with that. honest. i'm a fucking riot sometimes, i promise.

( Read more... )

seems as though i have to look at everybody sideways now. i couldn't help it if i wanted to. i don't, however, want to help it since it also seems as though people know more than they're letting on. how can you claim to care about me if you're holding back something i should probably know? sadly, this is in regards to numerous things ( Read more... )

saw_me_in_half gave me the letter "K", so here we go ( Read more... )

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