"Then waltz back into my life, like it's all gonna be alright, don't you know how much it hurts?"

 "The planes and ridges of his face are more familiar to me than my own. I understand that he wishes even more than I do that he still loved me." - Boys of My Youth, Jo Ann Beard

wow.
SO much has changed since my last actual update.

life is insane.
details later.

"so here's my observation.
you could never see it through my eyes
and i'm too tired to try."

i can't fathom the fact that this is my last weekend at home. i can't lie to my own livejournal. i don't want to go. this trip is something that over the last few days i have grown to dread more and more. as exciting as the idea is, i don't feel that at this point in my life i am necessarily ready to do this. but i've been counting on this for as ( Read more... )

i'm not sure if things are wonderful or terrible. probably a little bit of both.

i believe i explained it best when i said: "i'm not scared to go, i'm terrified to leave."

it feels like for the first time i have truly come home, and now i have to say goodbye again. my grandparents, pumpkin, and i have settled into such a comfortable and happy routine ( Read more... )

i don't know how to be what you need. your words are harsh and biting. i can't cry, because my tears mean nothing to you anymore. so here i sit in a crowded room, clinging onto my sanity for dear life in high hopes that i can hold back the tears and pretend to be fine. i have to save this, but i don't know how.

( Read more... )

i am constantly aware of my body's unappreciated mass.

zero down, thirty to go. will it ever stop? i need a plan.

thunder thighs, you've got another thing coming.
"lost myself again and i feel unsafe."

well, today was nice.

but why did kevin leave without saying goodbye?