I woke up this morning with the desire to write, even if I had no idea what was going to end up in this box. I figured that if nothing else, I could listen to the Skyrim OST and watch the cursor blink until something poured forth or until I gave up. These days, both are equally possible.

Having said that, I will say that I do feel somewhat lighter ( Read more... )

Going through life is about coming to terms with things that have happened before, I think. Whether it be the faux pas of using the wrong name or title, flubbing your lines, forgetting a speech, or tripping over your own feet (it was the carpet, I swear), these little things have a way of keeping us up at night -

and those aren't even the big ( Read more... )

Chris rolled up on me one day as I waited after school for my grandmother to come pick me up. He was still wearing the uniform for the alternative school we had to attend - khaki Dickies, white button-down, and blue Emerica skate shoes, though he'd unbuttoned the collared shirt and the two halves flapped in the wind as he skated towards me. He'd ( Read more... )

He always wanted to bring me with him to Mexico. He said I'd be a huge help to him with customers and for company during long days, but I think he just didn't want to hide for a period of time. He wanted me how he wanted me and when he wanted me without the worry of leaving marks. (Or maybe that's just what I wanted.) Even so, for days after the ( Read more... )

I knew that writing again was going to stir up some things that were perhaps better left alone, but I think that maybe it's necessary to do this in order to really let that stuff go? I don't know the answer, really, truly, but I think that if I have this desire to write again, then the Lord has brought me to this place and I should see where the ( Read more... )

Why do I want to return to a headspace wherein I always felt like I had to work for approval. Don't get me wrong, rewarded such as it was (a breathless gasp, a surprised chuckle, something moving in the depths of your gaze before you captured my mouth), but still constantly working to be alpha. Working for a position that was never confirmed to ( Read more... )

Last night, as the hours grew smaller, I realized that in opening myself up in this space again, I am indeed walking a thin line. I'm not entirely sure I want to deal with the feelings I have of being trapped/held captive by someone in my memories. It didn't help that I hit the Rah's vape pen right before I laid down and it sent my mind into a ( Read more... )

One of the hardest things for me to make my peace with is how different my lovers have been - opposite ends of the spectrum, though there has been some surprising overlap. On paper, I'm not bothered by it; in fact, I think there is some freedom in being as present as I am. And having said that, I recognize that perhaps I am viewing my past through ( Read more... )

I've been thinking about you lately. I can't say it's a sign of missing you, because life without you is better than life with you ever was, but maybe it's more of a clinical thing. To be honest, whenever I have thought about you for any length of time, I don't let myself dwell. You are a pit of quicksand and climbing out of the wet mire of my ( Read more... )

As I just told a friend (probably one of my oldest and dearest), I prefer the idea of spitting my words out by hand, but in true technological fashion, I'm just so much faster using a keyboard - and that's part of this, that I feel as though my fingers have to race my words to the finish line.

I've been lately inspired by the words of military ( Read more... )