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For a moment, right now, I felt that my life was still in its infancy. I knew that full, amazing, important things lie ahead... and what's left behind is no longer an issue. This is a process, has been, continues to be... but I really am becoming something new. It hurts, it's a struggle, some days really suck because nothing feels right. But ( Read more... ) -
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In my dream there was a woman, a therapist.. I think, but she was more of a shaman-ess. She seemed to be preparing a group of us (I dont know who... coulda been anyone, but I think maybe it was family?) for serious work.... internal work... a journey. she thrust her hand at me and said an incantation of one word (sounded like "massive"?) and i fell ( Read more... ) -
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I feel lonely this morning. Lonely like I'm grieving. The emotional overwhelm, like a wading pool that suddenly deepens to 12 feet. I feel intolerably needy, and wanty, and yearny. I feel like a brat, a 5 year old who just wants everyone to pay attention. Shower her with love and praise and spontaneous gifts. Not because she's spoiled, but because ( Read more... ) -
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this is how i feel alone in my head. my voice rattles around an empty place, speaking to itself hollow. -
into white
this afternoon i fall asleep with fresh tears. i don't know which part of that sentence holds more weight. -
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it's late. go to sleep you silly silly gosling. -
I'll leave it ajar
One whole year since I came back here. I started my job a year ago today. It certainly feels odd. Thinking back to last March, I mostly just feel like I want that happiness back. That pure joy that I had from changing my life in a wonderful way. That untethered feeling I had since I was no longer responsible for anyone ( Read more... ) -
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I will prickly your pear
every word i say is perfect
no matter when or where -
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as far as it stands... as far as i fucking stand, in this room- my home- my sweet cell of flickering lights... i feel happier in these days than the days recent. i feel more energy building towards something. something healthy and simple. being happy has always been a simple fool's game; a game easily lost, but arguably worth the heartache. ignore ( Read more... ) -
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douchebags have soured my mood.