I don't know how to deal with the well of angst that makes up so much of the core of who I am. Whenever I hear certain music, or spend enough time actually engaging with certain emotions, or think about people I haven't seen in a long time, I wind up encountering a lot of seemingly intractable problems. I'm lonely, but I don't want to be around ( Read more... )

Deep in the black of space, Ain't No Mountain High Enough crackles over the helmet speakers of an astronaut's suit adrift in space as the last oxygen canister runs low enough for the cast-away to pass into unconsciousness.

I'm in a really weird place emotionally right now. In the past couple of weeks I've had these flashes of really intense feeling that I haven't been able to hold onto for even a full second most of the time, but, like, they leave these echoes. I can remember sort of how I felt even if I can't actually maintain the feeling or the mindset that ( Read more... )

A story about a boy somewhere between 12 and 15 who is the only person in his class who was not born to name brand genetic engineering ( Read more... )

I've had this dream three times now. I'm out of practice filling in the details, so this'll mostly be just the parts that were consistent across retellings ( Read more... )

I feel like I'm starting to wake up from a years long sleep. For god-knows-how-many years I've essentially existed entirely as a bit of internet floatsam. I've lurked and I've lurked, but it has been a very long time since I've felt like an actual part of the world like I do now. Of course, at heart, I'm still mostly a wallflower. I often prefer to ( Read more... )

I was the personal bodyguard to the second daughter of the Russian czar. I was never a brave man, but she trusted me and that was enough for me to keep my job even if I maybe wasn't the best fit. The czar himself was probably the greatest threat to anyone living in the castle. Despite being wheelchair bound, he had killed his wife and eldest ( Read more... )

I don't know how to relate to my friends. Calling it growing apart wouldn't really cover it. Sometimes I'm not sure if I even like any of them. Then I think about it and I wonder if I like anybody at all and I can't say for sure one way or the other. I do like my friends. I know that, but sometimes like right now I just feel incredibly alone. ( Read more... )

One day I will have a migraine that will be the *last* migraine I ever have, and the the alien seed that was planted in my brain will burst out of my forehead and the spores will go about their work of ending the world. Or something. Seriously two migraines in a week is too many. My whole upper body is stiff and whenever I move around I get to ( Read more... )

I don't believe you can ever improve as a person if you love everything about yourself. I was just thinking about that because I see people post these bullshit self affirmations to their Facebook all the time that are all about discarding every part of your life that prevents you from loving yourself or whatever. I reject the notion that the ( Read more... )