#1 I am sorry that we didn't magically know that you wanted to leave with us rather than Tim even though you came in Tim's car. Next time I will try to do a better job of reading your mind ( Read more... )

Dear Ariel,

Please get your unmotivated ass in line and stay on top of your shit.

Sincerely,
Your Academic Conscience

Dear Academic Conscience,

Fuck you.

Sincerely,
Ariel

My dad promised my sister that she can have my room when I go to college. So today at dinner, I told her that a dead old woman lives under my bed and crawls up to sleep next to me every night. And I said that the woman only has one arm and sometimes she bleeds on me.

My sister doesn't want my room anymore. haha.

So every year my brother, sister, and I write a letter to Santa to leave with his milk and cookies. I thought this year's was particularly entertaining, and I'm sure there's a few of you who will appreciate it ( Read more... )

This week is kicking my ass ( Read more... )

So today we decorated our Christmas tree and something about spending an hour carefully arranging the plastic apple and santa ornaments made me realize that CHRISTMAS IS REALLY ALMOST HERE. I mean, I knew that it was coming up, but it just didn't seem real to me until this morning. And I got super excited...I love always having a fire crackling ( ( Read more... )

So tonight at dinner, we talked about the literal definition of the word 'shank' (apparently it has to do with getting killed in prison with some crude weapon like a sharpened fork) and my brother thought of a brilliant movie idea called "Fido the Amazing Vacuum Dog" in which you take some footage of a dog taking a shit and play it backwards so it ( Read more... )

WELL i just hardcore applied to college. like i pressed the common app SUBMIT BUTTON. it was pretty intense.

i don't know whether to be excited or nauseous.

.............

Yo, when can we kick it?
LOL. ummmmmmmmmm

Stop, it's red.
OK now it's green you can go.
Turn here this is my street.

Person #1: I <3 YOU! and being your crazy super-twin... you make my life complete. PS we rock at finding places without directions ( Read more... )

Don't even try to diffuse through my semi-permeable membrane.
You're trying to move up the concentration gradient, bitch.
That's active transport
BUT WE'RE OUT OF ATP.