I dare you to find a phrase that's more fun to say/yell than, "Cinco de Mayo!"

Dare.

Dickgrinder.

Already a curse word or not?

Either way it sounds painful.

Country of origin: USA

Definition: it's up to your imagination.

Today I was so excited for making sandwiches that while making them I started singing to myself "The Song that Doesn't End", only I replaced all the lyrics with "Nick Sandwich". Chew on that.

My biggest mistake to date: Buying "Doom" on DVD before even watching it.

My 2nd biggest mistake to date: Watching it.

I'm living life like a plastic sack in the wind.

Is it bad when the highlight of your day is finding a free crappy desk on the side of the road?

Congratulations to everyone that is not me.  You've already accomplished more in the world that I have

Sorry for the drought.  But Goats Quotes is back.   ...are back?

*entering stand up comedian mode*

So what's the deal with Pizza Huts out here (LA)?  You always see them attached to something else.  Wing Street?  Taco Bell?  Some places I never heard of.  It's like they're parasites.

You've been a great audience.  Good night

So upon walking to the front door to my place, I pass a cat hiding under a car.  It looks up at me and I say, "Boy are you in the wrong neighborhood." Then it scurried off.

*look at location for punchline.

Breakfast, Second Breakfast, Luncheon, Afternoon Tea, Dinner, Supper....man....hobbits have the fucking life.