I can now die happy.

( Read more... )

As some of you may be aware, I am currently in a relationship with a Bank Wank colleague.

Generally, we keep it quiet, there are no issues, we don't go frolicking gaily about the foyer or sitting on each other's laps, but after last year's Christmas Party where I consumed my entire body weight in cabernet sauvignon and only then realised that I ( Read more... )

At the blood bank:

Nurse: So, I see you have indicated that you have had male to male sex in the last 12 months. Is, er, that correct?

Me:

So, Part 2 of my tour of duty across the soul-depleting corporate landscape, took me out of the CBD to the border, where civilisation meets "The Shire". "The Shire" is mostly famous for it's friendly beachside gatherings and being űber-bogan and proud of it. It has no redeeming features that I can think of.

Decorated by an over-zealous gardener ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

Despite having worked in a seemingly corporate environment for way too f*cking brain-numbingly long the past five years, yesterday I experienced my first encounter with a "serious corporate meeting".

My boss, obviously sensing my office induced cabin fever, opted to take me as her hench person, to observe these creatures in their natural habitat ( Read more... )

After my previous post trying to elicit sympathy complaining about my foot woes and taking hallucinogenic quantities of pain killers, I was fitted with a new boot, supposedly more ergonomic and less like a dead weight at the end of my leg. I also visited a remedial masseuse who diagnosed me with a SHORT LEG. As if I wasn't already deformed enough ( Read more... )

Dear Brother,

Can you please stop playing your rubbishy fundamentalist christian / religious music and scrobbling it to my Last.fm. You are a freak and it's embarrasing having to weed it out of my play list of fabulous musicians such as Boney M, Falco and Andy Williams.

Yours sincerely,

Your Sister.

I need to rant and since my colleagues are as exasperated with my incessant whinging as I am with my foot, I have decided it is now time to inflict virtual pain upon people who are unfortunate enough to sporadically peruse my LiveJournal.

I have a broken foot. Not through doing anything fantastically courageous or sporting, but through something as ( Read more... )

This afternoon, my Mother attempted to send me a message that said, amongst other things, that my "pussy was warm in bed"- which on face value, I admit, does look a bit suss. Especially because I don't swing that way and even if I did I would more than likely not let my mother observe her in my bed and send me e-mails to werk about it. So many ( Read more... )