Lately Spencer and I have been nothing but playing games with each other. We like each other so much and yet we're apart? What the fuck.. I could understand if he didn't like me and tried to avoid me but now, he acts like he likes me again. He told me that he likes me. Just likes? You can like alot of people but you can only love so many. I don't ( Read more... )

Well, I was depressed for a long time after me and Spencer seperated. Unfortunately, I can't be stuck on him forever. I loved him so much and yet he's too involved on material things. He is more in love with that silly lesbian girl, manga, Magic, and D&D to even care of my existence. He is just full of selfishness and no matter how much I miss him ( Read more... )

First of all, this post is basically a prayer to the O Mighty God to save us from this Satan that is trying to take our churches or who has already taken them. If you don't believe in God, fine, I don't care. However, don't disrespect me for what I believe in. Today in the paper, this man entered the church and shot his minister and many others, ( Read more... )

Sometimes I think I'm selfish and then I think again and I'm not! I am not. I just want to be happy and now I feel once again, this is not true. It's the one year curse. I never last more than a year between no one. I feel like giving up. I have so much pain in my heart, I feel like someone has stabbed me in my heart about 50 times. I can't even ( Read more... )

Well I am tired of trying to hold back on my journal so whatever. I will write whatever I want to. I try to be nice to a certain person but he doesn't have to read my journal. I don't care. I run this life. No one else. Weeeell, this morning, my friend wanted me to stay in her classroom. I was kinda of freaked out to be in others' classrooms and I ( Read more... )

Man, I feel like life is being sucked out of me. I feel like the more I try for God, I get sucked under by Satan. He wants me because he knows I'm easy to crack. Anything can upset me, easily. Anything can make me cry. Yell at me or have a harsh tone, I will cry. Well Satan is burning my heart right now. Spencer once again "Protects" his friends ( Read more... )

Don't know why I named this entry this but oh well. I guess I have been thinking about how long me and Spencer have been together and how much, no matter how many times he made me cry, we're still together. Last week was a horrible week for me. I was so mad at him that I was.. ready to break up with him. I cried every class period, that's how ( Read more... )

I can't believe how I weak I am. Slowly, I'm losing all hope now. I'm slowly thinking about the break up and it's tearing me apart. I hate Spencer to death. He says to me, I place myself last.. "I place myself last?" Well let's see D&D and Magic is first, homework HAS to be second, me ..basically last. If he doesn't do homework, he will be grounded ( Read more... )

Well, I am thinking I am selfish and too critical of Spencer. Oh that I am. But selfish I think not. I mean, he spends more time with people from Japan Club than he does with his own girlfriend. He spends more time playing D&D and magic than he does talking to me or spending time with me and it's ..starting to hurt. I feel so lost and hurt right ( Read more... )

Well, I worked at 9 o' clock this morning after having to dealing with kids the night before. I didn't sleep well on our couch bed anyway so yeah, I didn't sleep comfortably and my contacts wouldn't get out of my eye.. since I slept in them. Bad me! So anyway, Frida calls off "sick." and they had no one to replace her so I decide to stay to replace ( Read more... )