I think that two of the things which have defined "growing up" to me the most are having to take care of myself when I am sick and having to carry various licenses and cards and keys and codes around with me in my purse and in my head. I used to carry lipgloss and a (maybe) couple bucks in my back pocket and I had no idea what my social security ( Read more... )

I don't think I actually have anything to say, but I feel like trying somehow. In African History I imagined what it would be like to look unmistakably African, like the Sudanese kids I went to high school with - tall, thin and inky black with a sort of gentle, vulnerable-looking face. A part of me always feels inclined to idealize that which is ( Read more... )

1.Whenever I check livejournal and there aren't a ton of new exciting posts, it makes me sad. So I post, hoping to compensate for the lack of other peoples' posts. And when there are many wonderful posts to read, I post out of happiness and jubilation resulting from all the lovely new posts ( Read more... )

She thinks I should look nicer when I'm in Spain. Actually, she said she would not help financially if I don't cooperate and wear what she thinks looks nice. She said I couldn't take my pajama pants, the ones I always wear constantly, and I said there was no way I was leaving them behind. I got her to give in about that, surprisingly, just by ( Read more... )

My mom realized that when I leave home and stop with the school going, I will have no insurance to speak of. I can understand very easily how a person could slip into total financial desolation and decay in this country, and then find themselves dying alone with gangreen and tooth decay. She said maybe I could get a job at the library or ( Read more... )

I feel surpisingly lovely. Not physically - I still feel a bit degenerate and foul - but my heart is light. Life has been kind to me lately.

That's it.

I guess that is a bit much. So I suppose I don't wish it, but I do feel it.

Gaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwdd

In the hall where I have my botany class there are tons of plants everywhere with labels saying their names. One is a rubber tree, and yesterday, I noticed somebody had tied trojans like christmas tree ornaments to many of the branches, and that though the strings were left on many of them, only a couple of the condoms were left. More of that ( Read more... )

Nobody really did anything, I'm not really pissed at anyone, but I am in a pissy PISSY mood. My eyes are sunken and a little red. I feel like the ugliest girl in the world, inside and out. If I were a cat, I would sit on my haunches in the corner and twitch my tail and if anybody came near me I would hiss at them. If they picked me up I wouldn' ( Read more... )

I rolled out of bed somewhat happily at 10 o clock, happy that I got to sleep so much. I then proceeded to get sort of stressed out, just thinking about shit I have to do. End of the school year, down to the wire stress and pre Spain stress all mixed together in a ball of radioactive waste in my chest. Following that, I committed three mercy ( Read more... )