When two or more girls are confined to a small area, they will undergo gosmosis, which is like osmosis but with gossip

"Straight Outta Compton" was NWA's more successful album after their initial flop with "Straight Outta My Parent's House"

This one time Bruce Lee came home and noticed some people lurking around through the window, so he burst through the wall and started kicking and punching and snapping bones until he realised it was actually his birthday and they were just holding a surprise party for him.

It's a little known fact, but if you plug a donut with a donut hole, you are granted one wish.

But it has to involve donuts

Instead of popcorn, cinemas should sell boxes full of tiny bite-sized steaks. And instead of cola, pureed steak. And instead of seats, they could just use cows. That way if you run out of steak during the movie you can just hack away at your cow.

Seriously, why hasn't anyone else thought of this? It's so obvious

Musical genres sorely lacking accordion solos:

Rap
Death metal
Funeral dirges

Also; if he played Abba's Waterloo on his ipod in a constant loop loud enough for other people to hear it but soft enough so you don't immediately realise where it's coming from

I think the best comic book villain would be a guy who followed the hero around but didn't actually cause any crimes. Instead he'd just repeat everything the hero said but in a really sarcastic voice while rolling his eyes

INTERNET PREDICTIONS OF THE FUTURE

Scientists conclusively prove that "Chuck Norris facts" are still not funny so stop goddamn posting them everywhere

INTERNET PREDICTIONS OF THE FUTURE:

Half of the internet suddenly goes deathly silent as fanboys collapse after it is revealed that Batman's "preparation time" is in fact total bullshit made up by lazy writers