A note on sexism toward women

[gorynna]

This is something that pops into my mind from time to time-

If men telling women that they are 'bad' women if they don't wax their legs/diet/have babies/wear traditionally feminine apparel etc is sexism, isn't women telling women that they are 'bad' women if they do engage in the above activities sexism as well?

Comments

[ultrapeach]

I think it's more a case of... the latter not saying you're a 'bad woman' but rather telling you off for conforming to all the pressure to think you're a bad woman for waxing legs/dieting/blah.

That said, I shave my legs and wear skirts! So I don't really sympathise with their view; I'll subvert gender roles in other ways kthx.

[gorynna]

But in the- I don't know whether to say 'feminist' or 'dyke' or what here, but there's a definite community I'm referring to- there's pressure to not shave, go vegan, cut your hair off, etc etc- all sorts of lifestyle and appearance based pressures. Even though it's more communal pressure than societal pressure, it's still pressure nonetheless. Like, I understand that it's a bit different, because you get more mainstream scolding if you don't bend to the societal pressure.

but yeah, like you said, I guess my point is I should have the right to pick the kind of woman I want to be, even if it is sometimes aligned with Cosmo.

[ultrapeach]

Yeah, I definitely know the culture you mean... I guess it's a vicious sort of anti-culture. I'm not sure it's sexist per se because it exists -because- of sexism... but it definitely is quite pushy and possibly ignorant of the aesthetics of others!
I agree that one shouldn't blindly conform to the female stereotype, but I think that as long as you're aware of the societal pressures and you choose to wear dresses/wear make-up etc. despite this, it's merely a personal judgement instead of a pressure. *convoluted sentences* xD

[m0rtal_w0mbat]

Ahh, one size fits all lesbianism. My favourite. Those individuals it does happen to fit comfortably often express disdain towards those that it doesn't. They assume that if you're dedicated enough to adopt the lesbian label, then by mighty you'll fit the stereotype too, albeit awkwardly. I am often troubled by this, as standing outside the stereotype often makes me feel less of a lesbian, in community terms anyway.

Meanwhile, the last sentences of the two previous posts make incredible sense to me. And I've always kind of viewed myself as quite tomboy-ish. But maybe I only do so because there's something of an expectation to place me there because I'm gay and like sports :P

[m0rtal_w0mbat]

Good god. After reading this I went and did some mindless web browsing on the subject of stereotyping within the gay community. Even my CAR is part of the lesbian stereotype. Frown.

[gorynna]

Oh, you have a Subaru? :)

[m0rtal_w0mbat]

A Toyota Rav4 actually. People can't seem to wrap their head around a woman driving a big car. Clearly I'm a big dyky-dyke.

I think the Subaru stereotype has more to do with it being a thoroughly practical car. And ALL lesbians are practical.