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Ok, so I restarted my fast nearly 48 hours ago. It'll be 48 hrs in only 26 minutes; which will be at midnight.
I had 90 cals today which is 50 cals more then what I had alowed myself to eat. This may sound realy stupid, but i'm so frustrated that I went over my calorie limment, even though it was only 50 cals more then what I wanted to eat. I set ( Read more... ) -
Can't sleep
It's 2 in the morning and i'm wide awake. I drank like 2 c of coffee at 10:00pm though, so it's my own stupid fault that I can't sleep.
I hate it when I can't sleep! I remember things that ppl had said to me, that makes me wish I could just leave everything, and give up on life.
I don't know why I still have hope that things will get better, but ( Read more... ) -
Body hurts
I'm still realy light headed from purging last night. My stumic feels like it would reject anything. But i'm kinda glade. It will keep me from eating any sh*t, That's the important thing!
I stayed up all night cleaning the house, and when I got up at 11:30am it was messed up again. I went to sleep at 8am, so in a matter of 3hrs my fucked up ( Read more... ) -
My fault, i'll fix it
My dad comletely lost it tonight!
I don't realy know what happened, bc I became light headed after purging, and passed out on my bed.
After I awoke a few hours later, I was hearing screaming, and things flying. They where screaming so loud that my head was pounding, and my stumic was turning; I thought I was going to pass out again.
Even though I ( Read more... ) -
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Ok, so I beinged on apple sauce. I ate like 1c worth. Anything that I eat that I can't eat, on what ever diet i'm on, I call a beinge. A full out beinge to me is if you eat like 200cals or more ( Read more... ) -
Fasting
This is my 3rd day for fasting, and i'm hardly even hungry. Fasting is so easy now.
I used to never make it passed 1 day.
I used to always b/p every day. But then one day I was b/ ,and I could'nt stop crying. So after I could'nt stop I went to the restroom to purge.
But I was still crying, and practicaly choking on my puke, bc I could'nt stop.
I ( Read more... ) -
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I've appled for jobs all over olathe ks, and no one will higher me ( Read more... ) -
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I just went for a jog on the tredmile. I'm so pethatic. I could'nt even go 1mile. All I had to do was go about a 1/8 and I would've gone a mile ( Read more... ) -
Purged now Jog.
So my whole family is finaly out of the house, and I had to be an idiot and beinge. I hate myself!
I purged and it feels so good to get that trash out of my system!
I'm going to go for a 2mile jog. I'll probable end up going like 6 miles though.
I have a system where everything I do must be in even numbers. That way if I do something ( ( Read more... ) -
Smoking
I'm scared, of everything, but mostly myself ( Read more... )