Comments | grayhammer: Here it is!!

grayhammer

Here it is!!

Dec 11, 2004 03:25

Ok kiddies here is the fisrt chapter to FIST OF AVALON. Meaghen thinks t has a nice porn title, but i orignaly had it this way so i'm going to keep it this way for now. DESTINED FOR AVALON is another title meaghen likes better, so we will see. Comments are welcome. If it appears to look odd, its because i just copied and paist from Word. Anyway ( Read more... )

Comments 6

grayhammer December 11 2004, 11:28:25 UTC

i know reading over this i need to proof read it a little better ,some senteces dont work and need revising, but the chapter is still the same. After a little odds and ends cleaned up it will be good.

naTe

pearjellybean December 12 2004, 04:54:50 UTC

Thats awesome!!! I totally love it so far... I completely agree on the proof reading;)
Good Job!
And I still think that you should write it as a book... It sounds like an awesome story... A few questions though...
When is it taking place? how old are the kids? Where is it taking place?? Are you going to go back through and add more detail?? Other then being a little confused at first I totally love it...

Sure grayhammer December 12 2004, 06:02:46 UTC

I know with the proof reading, that what matts helping me alot with, needs his oproval so to speak. The way im writing it, im writing it as a noval, i cant get the detail i want to portray with a screenplay, so im writing it as a book. This chapter is the hook chapter so to call it. All of the questions you want answered will come in the next couple of chapters. The fisrt chapter is going to be edited for cleaness and flow, everything in the chapter will stay and nothing wil be added except some words that im going to exchange for the extensive repeatative word rock outcroping. I will have to be more creative, and it was sugested i get rid of the he said and she said as well. But i'm very glad you like it or luve it so far. I have a couple of friends and my parents are hooked and asking me questions. My mom is a little upset that i wont answer any of her questions its kinda of funny ( ... )

serendipity_99 December 12 2004, 11:50:37 UTC

your never going to learn how to spell are you? or maybe you know you just don't care.

grayhammer December 12 2004, 16:26:37 UTC

spelling is not my forte, i do the best with what the lord and creator gave me, and i try to improve when i can. Besides at the top i stated this was a rough draft. I'm sorry kim, i do what i can.

naTe

brillosa December 12 2004, 21:07:28 UTC

It's good ........proof reading would be good but I liked it !