Moments Chapter 5
Title: Moments
Pairing: Tegomasu
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff, slight Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys or anyone else in this story. Only the plot is mine.
Summary: It's basically quite simple: Masuda falls in love with Tegoshi and even though Tegoshi is in love with him, too, there are some problems and obstacles they'll have to overcome. It starts in November of 2006, shortly before their trip to Sweden.
A/N: It's Tegomass. of course I had to add some fluff again v.v
I hope you have fun reading ♥
Previous Chapters:
First Moment: How does is feel
Second Moment: Close to You
Third Moment: What's never been mine...
Fourth Moment: Turn Around
Fifth Moment: Obvious
Tegoshi didn’t know when the right Moment to talk was.
Whenever he’d call out Masuda’s name, the older boy stiffened, tensed, avoided Tegoshi’s eyes.
He didn’t seem ready to face a talk with Tegoshi at all.
“Ne, Massu”, Tegoshi started as they were alone in the changing room. The atmosphere between them was still awkward; whenever they were alone there was a distance of at least five meters between them and they wouldn’t talk.
Tegoshi never knew how to start, and Masuda was too afraid to.
The older one now turned to him. “Yes?” His voice sounded weak. His body seemed stiff again.
It’s been almost a month by now; it was February and they were working a lot for the band’s comeback next month.
Coming a bit closer, Tegoshi fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. “Don’t you want to come over again? My mom is asking for you… You could…”
“Ah, well”, Masuda interrupted and smiled sheepishly. “Today’s bad.”
“Then I’ll tell her you’ll drop by another day. Whenever you have time”
“It’s okay; I don’t want to intrude into your home.” The older one bent down to put on his shoes; to avoid Tegoshi’s eyes.
“You’re not. We’d be happy if you’d---“
“Tegoshi”, Masuda said now, without looking up and grabbed his bag to leave. “I really don’t want to, okay?”
“But I...”, Tegoshi started again.
“I know, we can still be friends and you don’t mind my feelings at all.” Masuda summarized it up. He knew Tegoshi well enough. “But right now I can’t do that.”
Tegoshi decided that this time he wouldn’t let Masuda run from him. “Massu, you just won’t listen, will you?”
“I don’t want to hear you say those words, Tegoshi. It already hurts enough.”
“But maybe I won’t say them. You don’t even give me the chance to…”
“Cut it out.” Masuda still avoided looking at Tegoshi directly. It took him a lot of courage to reach his hand out and gently push the brunette aside. “You don’t need to wrap it into nice words. I should not have done that; but I’ll get over it. Don’t force me to. I’ll manage it in my own pace.”
Again, just as countless times before, Tegoshi watched him leave and this time he didn’t feel guilty or bad or sad or even clueless; it made him angry.
Masuda had his own pace and Tegoshi had always like that about him, as well as the fact that Masuda could be really stubborn and own-minded. But right now those characteristics of him made it difficult for Tegoshi to even just get trough to him.
He really started to get pissed about it.
First of all, he slammed the door closed, making sure Masuda would even hear it at the other end of the corridor; then he kicked a chair in the room, cursing badly, before he sat down and did what he could best out of all of them: pout.
The door lightly opened and Ryo’s face appeared. “Is it okay now to come in again?”
Tegoshi looked at him with angry, but teary eyes and nodded. “It’s always okay to come in. Nothing’s wrong.”
Ryo stepped into the room, followed by the other members. “Sure; you just had a little rage attack out of the blue.”
Tegoshi didn’t react.
Throwing him sorrowful looks, the other members went over to their spints. Yamashita tried to act as if he didn’t care and Kato did the same. They kept silent for their peace’s sake; but of course Koyama ruined it.
“Tegorin”, he said and sat next to him. “Don’t you think you should finally let us know what happened? We’re suffering with you guys.”
Tegoshi snorted and leaned away from Koyama. “I don’t think so.”
Ryo sighed. “Leave him, Koyama. It’s none of our business if the kids are fighting.”
Everyone kept quiet and just minded their business, except for Tegoshi, who still sat in his place. He watched them getting ready to leave, caught those glimpses he got from them from time to time and suddenly he said into the silence: “I guess, I really hurt Massu.”
Kato stopped moving first. He turned to Tegoshi and frowned. Yamashita bit his bottom lip and let his hands fall down, staring at Tegoshi like that while Ryo was turning to the youngest and sighed again.
“That’s something we all have noticed already.”
Koyama sat down again. “What did you do?”
Didn’t respond I love you, too, Tegoshi thought and bit his lip. He looked at Koyama now. “I pushed him away in the wrong moment; pushed him away when I should have been there for him.”
“You’re such a drama queen, talking like that, Tegoshi”, Kato commented.
Koyama threw him a look. “So, he’s angry with you?”, he asked then, facing Tegoshi again.
The brunette shook his head. “He’s disappointed of me.”
“You know, you guys should just talk it out”, Yamashita finally said.
“He wouldn’t even look at me.”
“Then just wait”, Ryo said and finished getting ready. “Finally, he’s going to get over it. He will forget and things will be back to normal.”
Tegoshi didn’t answer; he just nodded lightly. That’s what Masuda wanted, too. But Tegoshi didn’t want to leave it like that at all. He had an answer to give.
He actually didn’t want to reject Masuda’s love.
In that Moment, he felt his stomach tighten, his heart beat race up and his fingers starting to shake.
He didn’t want to reject it; he wanted to return it.
He probably was just as much in love with Masuda; that’s why he didn’t want him to turn away; that’s why he missed him by his side, the simple times they spent together.
He missed it so much because he loved him back.
“Well, that would be best, probably”, Koyama agreed to Ryo’s words. “Masuda can’t be mad at you forever. You’re best friends after all, right?”
Tegoshi realized their presence again and stared at them with dull eyes. He managed a nod, then he got up to change.
He wouldn’t wait, not the slightest bit. He’d have to make Masuda realise that he was wrong.
It was shortly after midnight, when Masuda woke up from his cell phone making noises. It took him a few moments to realise that those noises were the sound of his ringtone and he quickly sat up in bed.
He reached out for the phone, but before he picked up, he recognized the number and hesitated.
It was Tegoshi.
The younger one hadn’t talked to him at all since that encounter a few days ago. Apparently, Masuda had thought, it had finally gotten through to Tegoshi that Masuda really didn’t want to talk.
So, why was he calling in the middle of the night?
Masuda put the mobile phone to its spot again, the ringing stopped and he tried to not feel guilty about it. It would be best to have just some distance for a while.
As his mobile started to ring again, he turned to his night stand again and knew it was Tegoshi; who else would try calling him that late and in frequent intervals?
Masuda tried to ignore it, but after the fifth time, he couldn’t anymore and gripped the mobile phone, picked up.
“Massu?” Tegoshi’s voice had a shaking sound. “Did I wake you?”
“Of course”, Masuda answered. “It’s better urgent.”
“It is. I’m at yours. Outside.” Masuda’s eyes widened in shock and he almost flew to his window, pushing the curtains aside to have a look outside. Tegoshi waved up at him. “I didn’t think it was appropriate to throw pebbles or knock the door. I don’t want to wake your parents.”
“Why are you here?”
Masuda could see Tegoshi’s lips curl into a smile, before he answered. “Obviously to see you.”
“Don’t waste your time, Tegoshi.”
Tegoshi hadn’t noticed before, but the way Masuda always called him so formally hurt somehow. Especially after he had heard him calling his given name once. “It’s cold, Massu; let me in for a while, okay?”
“That wouldn’t be good.”
“You reject me?”
Masuda turned away from the curtains and pulled them closed; he didn’t want Tegoshi to notice his regrets, see him waver. “I know it’s hard to take for your pride.”
“I thought you love me”, Tegoshi simply said.
Masuda didn’t answer that. He had made that obvious, hadn’t he? The only way to have some of his pride remain would be to not let Tegoshi take advantage of Masuda’s feelings. “You better go home now, Tegoshi.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Massu. I came here to see you; to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk, seriously.”
“Then just listen to me. I have so many things…”
“I told you, Tegoshi”, Masuda said. “Not yet; I can’t handle it.”
He hung up and sighed heavily. Not daring to look out of the window just once. He didn’t even want to know if Tegoshi would stay, would wait for him to change his mind.
“I’m sorry”, he mumbled to himself. “I can’t face you yet, nor can I face your rejection.”
He stayed like that for a while, didn’t dare to move back into his bed; he wouldn’t be able to sleep, however.
It was already dawn when he finally managed to close his eyes, sinking into sleep. As he woke up again, it was already noon and he felt stiff from sleeping at the floor.
He left the house in the afternoon, since they had the day off. He’d go for a walk, peek into some shops, have some nice meal somewhere. Something to cheer himself up.
As he entered the shopping mall, he frowned and realised that he had better not left the house.
It was Valentine’s Day, something he had completely forgotten about. Everything was decorated in pink and red, hearts everywhere, happy couples everywhere.
He couldn’t stand it, didn’t want to watch that when his heart was broken. If he hadn’t done that stupid mistake, he had made Tegoshi spend this day with him; just as usual, but it would have given Masuda the feeling of spending Valentine’s Day with the one he loved.
Well, now he’d spend it alone; probably in his apartment, because he felt like being completely alone.
He couldn’t enjoy what he had planned at all, since what he had planned had been to distract himself, but every shop he entered would have some special Valentine’s offers, events or things like that. It was annoying and didn’t help lighten his mood up at all.
Finally, he made his way back home to get some things, before he would leave to his apartment.
As he reached home, came around the corner, he stood and stared.
“What are you doing here, Tegoshi?”
The younger one lifted his head; standing at the entrance to Masuda’s home. He smiled at him, rubbing his cold hands. “Your mom said you weren’t home, so I waited for you.”
Masuda was about to ask why he didn’t just wait inside, but bit his tongue before it slipped out. Of course, he worried for Tegoshi. Seeing him like this, he just wanted to take him into his arms and hold him until he’d feel warm again. Both of them. “I haven’t changed my mind since yesterday night.”
Tegoshi nodded. “I thought so. And I didn’t come to try making you listening to me again. Since you just won’t listen.”
Masuda felt the words cut his heart. He’d always listen to Tegoshi, but right now he really just couldn’t. He wished, Tegoshi would just understand his feelings. “Tegoshi…”
“It’s okay; I just wanted to see you. I didn’t know how long it would take you to come back and was just thinking about leaving this here, but then I thought you would probably be at your place.” Tegoshi took his handbag from the ground.
“I’m about to go there for tonight.” Masuda frowned as he pulled out a package of Masuda’s favourite sweets. It was some special chocolate; shaped like animals. He’d usually eat them being all excited what animal he’d get next.
Tegoshi handed them over. “I hope you understand now; without me having to explain and talk.”
Masuda frowned and looked at the package. “Um, well, thanks. I like these.”
Tegoshi’s eyes sparkled in anticipation. “I know.”
Awkward silence lay between them, then Masuda nodded before he walked up the entrance. “Well then, thanks again. I’ll see you at work.”
He left inside the house. Tegoshi could do nothing else than to stare at the door.
It was already dark outside and Masuda was tired from watching anime to fall asleep to. He desperately tried to get to sleep, where he could forget about all this. But in his thoughts he’d always get back to that point where he would start to think of Tegoshi.
The screen of the TV was flickering blue light over his face; the chocolate was on the table. Untouched.
He felt bad, because Tegoshi really tried to get through to him. He had bought Masuda his favourite chocolate to make up for not being able to return his feelings.
Tegoshi was not as self-centred as he always acted, after all. That was the reason why Masuda had fallen in love with him--- he had gotten to know the Tegoshi no one else knew.
He knew Yuya.
He had fallen into a slight slumber, as knocks at his door pulled him out of it. Masuda thought about not answering it, but it didn’t stop, just got heavier, so he pulled his sweater from the floor and pulling it over his head he lazily walked over to open up.
As soon as the he unlocked the door, it was pushed open and Tegoshi rushed into the corridor.
“You. Make. Me. So. So. Mad.” He turned to Masuda, his face angry and his arms folded in front of his chest.
“What…”
“You’re just too stupid, aren’t you?”, Tegoshi asked and slammed the door back into it’s frame. “You just didn’t get it at all.”
“What are you talking about, Tegoshi?” Masuda was too surprised to actually think about that he didn’t want Tegoshi to tell him any of his feelings.
“I’m talking about how angry I am, Massu. You’re just completely blind when it comes to me.” Tegoshi didn’t care to ask for permission, he just went into the apartment, made his way to the living room.
Masuda didn’t think so; after all he had been watching Tegoshi with different eyes from anyone else for a while now. But even so, he really didn’t know why Tegoshi would be that angry right now. “Tegoshi, I really…”
“Don’t want to talk. Yeah, I know”, the younger one said and turned again. “You said it often enough. You cut me off with that often enough. I tried to make it easier for you; I really did, didn’t I?”
“Eh…”
“Yes, I did.” Tegoshi answered for him. “And you’re just the complete idiot you always are, not understanding my actions at all.”
Masuda looked quite lost, since he really didn’t get what Tegoshi was talking about.
“You didn’t want to listen to me, Massu, so I made that gesture and you don’t know any other answer than to hide here in your cave and wallow in self-pity?”
Now, Masuda felt insulted and made a step forward. “You’re the one who hurt me in the first place, so you have no right to blame me for that!”
Tegoshi grabbed the package from the table and opened it, throwing Masuda an angry look. “I tried to give you the romantic version.” He searched inside the box for the one he wanted to have and then held up a piece of chocolate in the shape of a pig. “But you’re just too stupid, so let me make it clear.”
Masuda stared at him and frowned as Tegoshi just ate the chocolate. He didn’t get that behaviour at all. “Tegoshi, what are you trying to…”
“Shut up, Massu”, Tegoshi just said and closed the distance between them, pulling his arms around Masuda’s neck and pressing his lips to his.
The older boy jumped a bit, tried to pull back, but Tegoshi held him close, licked his lips, until he opened them to let Tegoshi’s tongue slip inside.
“Massu…”, Tegoshi murmured then and looked at him, nipping his lips once more. “What does it taste like?
“Tegoshi”, Masuda answered; eyes still widened in shock.
Tegoshi sighed, kissed him again. “What, Massu?”
With his heartbeat calming down again, Masuda dared to lean in and have another sip from those lips. “Chocolate.”
“You really didn’t get it, did you?”, Tegoshi asked and pressed his lips together, staring into Masuda’s eyes.
“It’s Valentine’s Day”, Masuda now realised. “You gave me chocolate.”
Tegoshi nodded, pulled back a bit. “Will you finally listen to me now?”
For a moment, the older one just looked at him, before he finally returned the embrace, put his arms around Tegoshi’s waist and pulled him back close. “Don’t get angry again, but not now”, Masuda answered before he leaned in to kiss the brunette again.
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There, there... everything worked out~ So, well, it's Chapter 5 and they're slowly getting into it. Yay.
Okay, yeah, I rally am slow. Sorry!