I've decided to shut down this journal and begin another. That will be my virtual way of ending my melancholy as well as my need for secret and filtered entries. Third time's the charm, right? Once I go through and save all of my previous entries, this journal shall be no more. If you're reading this, you have two options: you can ignore it, or ( Read more... )

I've been feeling quite a bit better lately, now that I've physically come to a halt and stopped myself from stressing and worrying. Moo and I had this great moment while driving around yesterday, singing Madonna and vogueing. Moo has been so great during all of my little break-downs. Just now she walked by and when she heard what I was ( Read more... )

( It's that little souvenir of a terrible year. )

( Got to be some more change in my life. )

I am, at this moment, feeling what I refer to as 'stupid happy,' one of the rare white elks of emotions. I'm listening to Christmas music and preparing for my trip to NYC tomorrow. I just talked to Sarah, my beloved Sarah on the phone! We were roommates for a year at my hippie uni, and we became insanely close. She's remained one of my top two ( Read more... )

I feel like time has been flying by since coming home again. I've seen a million movies, started cleaning out dad's garage and decorating his new house, and had many fulfilling and vivid dreams about being in love. In less than two weeks I'm finally, finally going to New York City. I can't really express what a huge deal this is for me, as for ( Read more... )

Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Things have been pretty good. I've been sleeping a lot (it's still difficult for me to stay up past 9 pm, but I wake up around 6 or 7 am) and hanging out with my family and my cats and catching up on my American television. Yesterday Mom told me that I get to be the one to bake the pumpkin pie for the family ( Read more... )

Last night I dreamed that I was at a cliffside town (Whitby, perhaps?) in a group of gothy folk, walking north along a street. Wes was walking south along the same street (or inner hallway, actually). He looked over at me in his white wig and woman outfit and gave me the stink eye. I looked over at him, then we both looked away and ignored each ( Read more... )

I'm so damn tired all the time lately. Maybe Chandra's right and I really do have mono. The past two nights I've fallen asleep so quickly it's been like I fell into a coma. I feel like I'm really struggling to keep my head above water in all aspects of my life. Mostly I just need to get back to the States next week and recharge my batteries. ( Read more... )

On the train back from Whitby yesterday I kept having all these thoughts about the idea of 'home,' more as a metaphysical or spiritual notion than a physical structure. What began as a list of questions turned into a poem about the sea. Go figure ( Read more... )