How many times do you freaking smoke in a day? In the last HOUR you've smoked three cigarettes. It seems as if you're always smoking. Get a grip and cut down or quit. You sound like a 85 year old man with emphysema.
"People don’t want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.”
Living life while looking at a future full of uncertainty and possible failure makes you work just that much harder to succeed. Just because it's hard and requires effort does not make it pointless, it makes it worth pursuing.