Brain started spiraling doing all that shit none of us like... at least I assume that other people have days like that. One niggling thought leads you down a whole host of others. Anyway, the girl put the kid to bed, saw that I was laying in bed crying, gave me a hug talked for about 2 minutes, then walked off to go hang out downstairs with the ( Read more... )

I'm not a huge fan of Cygnar, but figured I need a hobby while this shit is going on, I really should assemble this army.

so we talked? seemed to have come to good compromises that may work in the future? Tune in next hour for another contradictory statement I guess.

I have the song "The End" stuck in my head. Relationship is done as far as I can tell. It's really too bad because I don't know how I could fix it. I'm told it feels like I'm punishing her. The reality is that the actions of "Punishing" her are really just me expressing how unhappy I am with the current situation. My being unhappy is making the ( Read more... )

woke up to a spam call at 7am.just spent a lot of time reflecting on state of relationship etc. trying not to look at her and think parasite but it's hard when she does nothing for me.

She's sick of hurting me and wanted to break up, I pointed out that we have not exhausted all options. End result is some clarity. She gets mad every time she acts contrary to how she wants to act because of the history as a sub, and when she gets mad she shuts down and ices me out. I get mad because she ices me out and distances herself. We're ( Read more... )

So the conversation of what do you want is supposed to happen tonight. I can't seem to get the energy to do anything. I feel like I'm just waiting for the weight to hit me and there is jack shit all I can do. It's not pleasant, I know I'm going through pretty severe depression but after this I can only hope that we can either start to get better or ( Read more... )

finally had it out with her, told her how I feel shes just not emotionally there. Like I get needing space, but 2 months of barely even trying. I'm not asking for too much imo, I'm just asking her to talk to me and try to get back to enjoying each others company and maybe fixing some of the issues. I blatantly said, what do you want and she couldn' ( Read more... )

time spent alone with the woman today... maybe 20 minutes.

Realized while looking through portland bands that all the ones I used to listen seem to have stopped. Also Wax a rapper I like is touring but nowhere near here. Oh well I was at least able to tell a friend in one of the cities as he introduced me to his music and he seems super stoked. Have had the line from Mumford and Sons rolling around in my ( Read more... )