I've been a bit bothered, really hard to process my thoughts.  I just don't really feel any connection with anyone, I don't really talk to anyone, my isolation just.. grows.  I read Ulysses and it bothered me quite a bit, it was probably the most relatable thing I've ever read.  So that's hard to process.  It's strange, having so much trouble ( Read more... )

 First day at an actual university.. it was.. not overwhelming, but the workload is indeed large.  The larger part of the whole experience is on me, with a little over a hundred pages of reading per day.. so meeting three times a week.. over three hundred pages a week.. which is a big jump up from not having to read at all.  I like it though, it's ( Read more... )

Hoping the next thing around the corner is going to be so much better than the hole I'm in right now.  The only times I'm happy is when I'm imagining everything is going to be better.  I want to make a difference, to help... but I can't care.  I feel so strongly against almost everything and everyone.. almost, at least there's that ( Read more... )

I was going to write something, but it's because I wanted to write.  That's just greedy.

To a different sort of view.

To being able to enjoy the people I enjoy for who they are and wanting nothing more.

2009, good bye.

2010, I want you to teach me.  Teach me to live.  Teach me to live with myself, especially.

2009, you taught me to love, and I thank you for that, especially.  For everything else, fuck you. 

For once ( Read more... )

Twenty Beers Later (Poem ( Read more... )

I tried to do something today, but it all failed. I was going to go for a bikeride and I guess my bike was already put into the shed... I also called Brad to ask if I could come over, but he's addicted to his World of Warcraft beta and won't be welcoming human contact for awhile. I tried to call Josh too, but he never answers his fucking phone. ( Read more... )

So, I haven't updated in awhile. Probably because not much has happened, and I have the opportunity to drown out my sadness with mindless busiwork and games... So, so tired...

I got a bunch of DragonForce songs, and a new Nocturnal Rites song (Birth of Chaos). They be pretty sweet. Everything keeps getting changed, and it's the little things that matter, such as how to stop a nosebleed, UP OR DOWN DAMNIT!!!? Also whether or not to put two spaces after a period, on a computer you're supposed to use one space apparently ( Read more... )