This is about as boring as being infuriated gets, so hold out for a second.

As this facebook message I just sent to the fucker explains:

Brian,

I just saw the absolutely disgusting condition you left the bathroom in, plus the double doors in your room are chipped and damaged, and there are giant stains on the walls. If the redecorating fee doesn't ( Read more... )

 And then there was Lobster Quest, again. I live in a very strange world where most of it is imagined.

I realized I just fucking hate white people today. On some real shit. This fucker in my class, what a nice mother fucker. Oh he's so fucking nice, isn't he a great pal? He's in Web Design. He knows how to make websites, his designs are clean and well done, if a little uninspired. Trite, maybe. He even listens to decent music. But I can't help ( Read more... )

Proof read the followng sentences:

That dark invisible human is running away with my TV! He was wearing one of those human shirts and listening to loud human music. its just humans talking over drum beats I don't get it.

My friend is asian and he can mount a tall horse just by jumping. He learned it from his dad who was a samurai during the korean ( Read more... )

Envelope adhesive will make you fat if you keep licking it. Do you know how many calories is in that stuff? A few summers ago I was working as a taste-tester at an ice cream factory. But it wasn't paying enough, so I got a second job in a mailroom, sealing envelopes. I gained 50 pounds that summer.

Yowza.

I have a new favorite show. I have no idea what it's called. I didn't even know the "Ion Life" channel existed until I decided to press the green button on the remote last night. TV is so much better when you don't know what you're watching. The cable companies want you to find a favorite channel, that way they can snatch up loyal viewers who will ( Read more... )

Washing Down

Quietly within the distance from my retinas to the inside of my eyelids shakes a familiar reminder to operate. It calls me out of synapse and pulls me stumbling six feet through the hallway closet space. So there I am, surrounded in linoleum and draining out the night. Luke water, getting out of pool sensation, beige towel. I’m ( Read more... )

 The world is big, and scary. There's no use pretending it isn't, so embrace it ( Read more... )

 I'm a pill on your tongue

We are
Desperate masterminds,
Sucking our lunch through a straw,
Breathing proof of a god we don't believe in.
Once a plus
Is uttered by a pair of pursed petals,
We retreat to a spot
Where our bodies are metal.