my new favorite past time is apparently cutting and drinking, I really enjoy it when the blood is enough to drip down my arm. oops. the last two weeks have been a dream and I'm struggling to get out of it. oh shit, that was deep. I'm stuck on that edge, I think if you get super deep into the occult you .. the veil has been thrown aside and yet I ( Read more... )

hi, look I love you because I know where you've been. Take care of yourself. fuck love, fuck relationships. just for a while. take care of yourself. Love you. I love you and I don't even know you so that means it should be easier to love yourself. look you are great, nobody is going to argue with that- I sure as hell am not. Love yourself in ( Read more... )

i'm addicted to this stupid shit, for some reason it helps more than drowning my sorrows in a bottle. 43 razor marks up my right arm. yeah.. about that I really need to stop .. cause its fucking hot out and I can't stand wearing long sleeves ( Read more... )

I fed and prayed to Elugga last night and in my dream the number 66 came up as there were 66 different ways to picture these things (strife I think ) it was a dream about being in school and painting. Lots and lots of women in my dream - that must have been the aphrodite part (offered blood and sexual fluids) and I just looked up the numerology on ( Read more... )

I love the ache of cutting myself, it stops my tears, but it doesn't, because i'm so lost right now. i don't know what I can do baby, i'm not enough you're not enough what is there to do. so while the blood runs down my forearm and it hurts i'm going to cry, thats what I'll do.

here are some amusing bits of conversation from the last couple nights where I drank entirely too much ( Read more... )

Casarsa Cabernet Merlot 2003 vintage, you let me down. You have taken my expectations of being on my ass when I finish the bottle and turned them to shit in my hands. Goddamn you CASARSA!!!! after 1.5L of 12% by vol red red wine (like the song) I'm fucking sober... well. Ok. I'm a bit lucid but I want to be laying on the ground spinning and ( Read more... )

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SORRY (Nerf Herder)

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I'm so fucking excited for eggs and toast!!! AHH. It is starting to heat up soon. Oh I can't wait. mmmm eggs and toast!! ooh and tea. fucking a!! I'm freaking excited. I have the biggest craving and these pills are starting to kick in. They got rid of my sniffles.. and I'm kind of bombed. So I'm not moving to alaska (long story full of heartache ( Read more... )