....I have an interview tomorrow.... ;]

So I've Had a lot of time to myself lately... So I've been thinking. I now remember everything I said to him that would have made him want to run.... I was really controlling and bossy. I had certain expectations and if they weren't met there was hell to pay. I've decided I don't want to be like that anymore. I want to be a happy person and be able ( Read more... )

Anna just won't get the hint.
she needs to just back off for a while.
she keeps Im-ing me and calling. 
And I know if I keep ignoring her she's just going to come over,
she's done that a million times before.
She's written me two messages,
and she said she was sorry if I was mad at her.
But she didn't appologize for what she wrote,
she just stopped at that ( Read more... )

He got the paper job
( Read more... )

 he still hasn't called...
and although I didn't want to I called his mom to try to get a hold of him.
But no ones there.
Which I was glad,
cause this really is his problem...
and he needs to get off his ass and do something about it.

He's probably at band practice...
And not that I don't want to see him on Wednesday,
cause I do...
But I'm trying so hard ( Read more... )

mom and dad kept saying that he wasn't really looking for a job.
He wasn't really trying.
Now I believe them.

He got a call last night here at 6:11 from wal-mart.
I didn't pick it up, but I got the message at 6:20 and wrote it down.
I imediately called Mike at his house,
It was busy so I got online and talked to Dustin who told me he was at ...can you ( Read more... )

I'm so fed up...
Talking to him on the phone makes everything worse.
I want to tell him what he's doing to me,
what he's lost,
and what he'll never have again.
I want him to realize that he's being childish and selfish.
I want him to hurt like I hurt....
He said he's hurt like I've hurt,
when I broke up with him for Ben...
But he's not feeling that NOW and ( Read more... )

This whole week I've been going back and forth about what I want and what I don't want.
And I keep coming up with things Mike wants... that I can't learn to deal with but def. not want in my relationship or in a boyfriend/husband.
Is it not okay to not want your ex-boyfriend to be a lazy pothead who only likes to sit on his ass and play video games ( Read more... )

My dads getting shitfaced...
Like usual...
only last time he bought beer he said he realized he's been drinking too much.
He was drinking at least 15 beers a night every other night.
He's up to 19 right now, and he can't even stand walk.
I really hate being here when he gets drunk,
he makes me so uncomfortable and he won't shut up for the world.
He will ( Read more... )

 So I talked to Mike twice today...

But before I did I called his house and talked to Christina about everything...She's the closest thing to a sister I have anymore so I can tell her how I'm feeling. After that I called Anthony to see if Mike was there so I could find out if the band was going to the movies or not. He wasn't there, Anthony had just ( Read more... )