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home
TSA guy: "Where are you headed?"
me: "Atlanta."
TSA guy: "Is that home for you?"
me: "Yeah. For now, anyway."
I wonder for how much longer. -
hungry
woman 1: (shouting on the street) "I have a headache, and I'm hungry!"
woman 2: (shouting more loudly) "And just so you know, I didn't say for 'peanuts,' I said 'penis!'"
Yep, still weird. -
were
guy: "You were black?"
girl: "My hair color was."
I'm just trying to find the restroom. -
new
John: "What's new?"
me: "New York."
John: "Hmm?"
me: "New Jersey, New Zealand..."
John: "I don't know, New York's pretty old."
me: "Even old New York..."
John: "...was once New Amsterdam."
Why they changed it, I can't say. -
finished, sort of
Almost exactly 32 years ago, I had to get some teeth taken out in preparation for getting braces later in the year. I was eight years old at the time. I don't remember how many Dr. Rafoth extracted, but the one I do remember was the right premolar bicuspid (see here for an illustration). Once it was gone, I could feel that the tooth next to it ( Read more... ) -
game
Kirsten: (noticing that I'm walking behind her into the lab) "Why are you following me?"
me: "Just bored."
Kirsten: "I was expecting something more creative than that. Up your game."
me: "Up your game!"
Kirsten: (laugh) "Well played, sir."
I try. -
went
Paige: (pointing at door to Preservation lab) "Do you have a key to get in?"
me: "Yes. I don't know where everybody went, though. They all left together."
Paige: "They all went to par-tay!"
me: (laugh) "I thought you said 'potty.'"
Paige: (laugh) "Poop!"
Yes, we're five. -
hello
Carol: (on phone) "Sophie's in here." (to Sophie) "Do you want to talk to your uncle Trey?"
Sophie: (in background) "Trey? Okay."
Carol: (to Sophie) "Alright, here you go."
Sophie: (on phone) "Hi Uncle Trey!"
me: "Hello!"
Sophie: "Do you have Ebola?"
She's ten. -
foot
Elizabeth: "How's your foot doing?"
me: "Still sucks."
Elizabeth: "Aw, I'm sorry. At least tell me that you did something exciting to hurt it."
me: "Um, carrying a box of stuff for Goodwill down the stairs?"
Elizabeth: "No, that doesn't count."
Believe me, it was quite a trip. -
question
Nicci: (watching Mission to Mars on TV) "Does Mars have gravity?"
me: "Did you really just ask that question?"
Nicci: "Yes."
Whit: "It has no atmosphere, but it does have gravity."
That's it; you're not allowed to watch Cosmos anymore.
