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My medication has really been taking a toll on me. I've been insanely tired since I've started taking it and I feel like it's dulling every emotion. The only thing it seems to have helped is my anxiety. I'm no longer thinking of twenty things at once or have that overwhelming feeling that I need to be taking care of three things at once every ( Read more... ) -
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Alan's father died on Saturday. He's doing fine for now but I know the funeral is going to be hard on him. It doesn't make it any less difficult to deal with but at least it wasn't a surprise. He was almost 82 and in very poor health for a long time. This definitely makes me think about my parents mortality though. My parents are older and in ( Read more... ) -
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Holy fuck I need an adventure of some sort, anything. I'm sick of winter, as much as I like this job I'm sick of coming here every single day. The monotony is driving me crazy. I don't know what kind of adventure, just something. I want to explore something or do something crazy or learn something. My only reprieve has been studying and drawing ( Read more... ) -
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I've been thinking a lot recently about my eating disorder and how it relates to and possibly amplifies my other problems. I know a lot of people with EDs have a name for it, most common being Ana or Mia, but I've never done that. I've always thought of it as my "food issue" rather than giving it an identity. That always seemed to scary, to think ( Read more... ) -
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I was beating myself up a lot yesterday because of my weight and having a pretty bad day. I was going to do without dinner but I know that would do more damage so I made a bok choy and green pepper quesadilla. Alan was working so I was all prepared to watch a movie, The Magdeline Sisters. Before the movie there were four thirty second animation ( Read more... ) -
mer mer mer
I think I'm ok enough to say everything is coming up THRILLHO. I was expecting work to be utterly boring and dead enough to be able to write a list of what I need to bring on our trip but I was surprisingly busy. Which is fine because time went by fast and I can get everything done before Tuesday ( Read more... ) -
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Watching the Sox vs Cubs game with Alan and going for a bike ride later.
This is a very good day and only ten more days until our trip to Boston. Very excited to spent a couple nights in Lizzie Borden's house! -
merg
So fucking hungry. I did very well last week and got my weight down again to where I like it. I've been exercising a lot more and becoming paranoid that it's causing me to gain muscle weight which is why I'm going up more and more. Jesus, today I ate half a cup of carrots. I was rationing carrots at work so I could stay relatively satisfied and not ( Read more... ) -
Con virgin no more
I went to my first Rocky convention this past weekend and I must say, that was one of the most enjoyable weekends I have ever had. It was needed and still have a bit of that "fuck it all, I'm having a good time" feeling. I'm very glad our car/room situation worked out the way it did. It was good to be with people that have been to conventions ( Read more... ) -
Things going well
My dress is finally finished! That's a huge weight off my shoulders. The last thing I have to do is decorate my Trixie box. Alan was super sweet and made a wooden box for me and painted it. He covered it with fabric though so I can glue shit to it. It's such a nice box and can be used for other stuff so I didn't want to put things directly on it. I ( Read more... )