Posting from phone. Pain in bhole. I love you all. Barf. Barfbot attacks! Stay at home with lights off, lest ye be Barfbotted. This is difficult. Blackberry, do not smoke too much pole. One day you shall smoke so much pole that your brain will die.

Today I contributed to a fund raising money for a coworker whose whom was tornadoed. I contributed by buying a smoothie. My smoothie had melted by the time of purchase, so it was more like Tangy Bananawater with Seeds. Everyone wins.

Ice on Mars, bitches.

Not really. I am all abusive because I have been drinking. And by drinking, I mean at work. At work drinking. Drinking beers ( Read more... )

Next time I see or hear the word iPhone, I grab the nearest living thing and set it on fire with my mind. Good because I will have suddenly learned to set things on fire with my mind. Bad because the authorities will be all on my ass because I will have suddenly learned to set things on fire with my mind ( Read more... )

http://www.acc.umu.se/~emilk/

Because I had already read everything else on the internet, I wound up reading things on Pitchfork this afternoon. On one of the things I read, a person used the word "asshat." I know the guy who invented that word, and he probably did not get paid ( Read more... )

This morning I bore witness to the phenomenon referred to by the mainstream media as the Red Ring of Death. I have no receipt. Microsoft had best not douche out on a guy ( Read more... )

It sounds to me like I missed a right swell time in Wisconsin ( Read more... )

happy shrant, wisconsineers. i have a mysterious puddle in the kitchen.

Last week the new Ratchet and Clank came out. It is a video game. Despite the fact that I am big, fat, male, and 29, I made the noises of a fourteen year-old girl who has been given twenty-seven justin Timberlakes for Christmas when I picked it up ( Read more... )