I guess I'm starting to feel something, which is scary. I don't want to feel anything. I don't want to be attached to another person. I want to kill my feelings as soon as I can, because in the end they won't do me any good, because this relationship is impossible. You live a million miles away, which is not the only reason, but it's first and ( Read more... )

I've been so fucking lazy lately, it's ridiculous. I need to cut it out. I guess that's what happens when you're only taking 2 classes. Also the weather hasn't been much help. Every day it's been fucking gloomy and wet and windy...it makes me want to stay at home under the blankets and just do something relaxing. But really though, at the end of ( Read more... )

I've been so fucking lazy lately, it's ridiculous. I need to cut it out. I guess that's what happens when you're only taking 2 classes. Also the weather hasn't been much help. Every day it's been fucking gloomy and wet and windy...it makes me want to stay at home under the blankets and just do something relaxing. But really though, at the end of ( Read more... )

I feel much better lately about my crush because I'm not feeling it anymore. The infatuation has worn off for the most part, I would say, and I'm better off because of it. I really don't want to feel that way about someone who's my friend. Instead of that, I'm feeling shitty about other things, mainly my academic life. The heat is on now, and I'm ( Read more... )

I had a retarded 2009. Like, seriously retarded. Here are the main events.
( Long. Long and retarded. )

This break was all that I could've asked for and more. Granted, I'm not perfect and my situation still needs improving, but I'm still luckier than I think I am. I would say I'm very fortunate to have learned from my mistakes and to have the things that I do, such as my possessions, and my apartment, my friends, and my job, even if they seem sub-par ( Read more... )

I am hating my life at this current moment. Every arena is chock-full of disappointments and failures. I am going to make a detailed list of how much my life sucks in all areas of my life.

( Bitch bitch bitch )

I had a dream that I was so lonely I was contemplating apologizing to Adam. Thank god it was only a dream, although I'm bound to get lonely at times. When that happens I'll call my nigga Taytay. I also dreamt my parent's house had a room that was full of water and I was swimming in it. Then I realized there was a crack in the windows, so the water ( Read more... )

I'm lacking a lot in my life at the moment, I would say, compared to where I was 6 or 7 months ago. I was more fulfilled back then, but I wasn't happy, I wouldn't say. Or maybe I was, but my happiness stemmed from ignorance. Back then I had a boyfriend, which I had been searching for for months (possibly years), I had a circle of friends that I ( Read more... )

I feel like I've been a horrible person lately. Lately being the last 4-5 months or so. I've been very negative, hateful, unappreciative, bitter, jealous...any kind of negative emotion you can think of, I've come to embody, and I'm kind of disgusted with myself. I know that all this shit is just a shield to protect my fragile ego, which received ( Read more... )