to feed one side feeds the other, and the whole which we're theoretically trying to let go of. at least, we should be. this leads me to thoughts of definition of ego in the larger sense of mundane identity, or only as the two sides of insecurity and vanity, or the self as distinct from other selves and the world around it, or as distinct from the ( Read more... )

inner debate about the duality of blue, and i am swept again into the shimmering threads of containment. my hair is made of spider webs, my eyes the slight ether of the morning sky, not quite sure of its own existence. i pray to the small buds of spring, the dust of winter that avoids my glances, the small children rushing by me with pospsicles ( Read more... )

Play the question game! (At long last), following are my responses to Joel's five personalized questions. (I believe this was started by that girl who was on american idol.) Ask me for questions, too! It's only fair after reading about the inner workings of my mind.

Read on, you know you want to...

( lj cut because it's long )

why the frantic groping feeling, and why ( Read more... )

hm, there is a dead bird on our doorstep (gift from one of our loving cats, no doubt) and I don't feel like doing anything about it right now. I'm hoping somebody else does ( Read more... )

okay stop being pathetic STOP BEING PATHETIC, remember that you have a life and FREE WILL and that you are cool beyond cool. You deserve everything your little big heart desires for yourself and others and MORE but you're the only one who can reach those dreams. but you are NOT ALONe, i mean duh, that would be extremely hard in this world of ( Read more... )

a birdsong for each footstep, i sing ( Read more... )

I would like to take this opportunity to remind myself that my life is GREAT and I am blessed and therefore have no reason, in fact, no right to be mopey. Today I played video games (ack - city of heroes. very dangerous.), sang, gave a voice lesson, ate a chicken mole burrito, and led a brush-up rehearsal for Oedipus. In beautiful Santa Cruz. In ( Read more... )

Ohhh, I feel like a floating figure etched on a forgotten paper pinned to the wall. I can't even call my friends because I'm afraid I would dissapoint them somehow. What's THAT about ( Read more... )

today i lost some dignity and found some flowers, as well as juicy strawberries and my way through the changes. i've been feeling like that girl in the play i didn't get the part for who has big, hopeful eyes and says "Please God, don't let me be Normal" and then she sings. Except that I've also been feeling quite old, for my age that is, and my ( Read more... )