Today is strange... I woke up feeling rested and wanting to work out so I did for a while. I felt sad for a while, thinking about the fact that I feel like right now I don't have a real friend in the world. No one I want to confind in, no one I feel like understands me. My closest friend is Dustin, and even him I can't have around because I know it ( Read more... )

I spent the day reading old journal entries and wroking on my love story project that I have been working on for about 3 years now. It is still no where near being done but I at least got a big chuck done.

It is hard not to get caught up in the past while writing about it. I was working on The Tim chapter and it just reminds me of how much felt and ( Read more... )

I just got home from seeing Eat Love Pray, it was good but  not as good as I thought it should have been.This might be because that is the way I feel about life in general right now.

I am sure it is just me being a harsh critic but everything seems to disappoint me these days. I feel frustrated with almost every person in my life. I know that this ( Read more... )

It is 1:30am and my alarm is suposed to be going off at 4 so I can get ready to head to the airport. I am way to excited to sleep yet I am very sleepy lol. Too sleepy to write but to awake to sleep ahh... I don't like this!

oh well I will talk to you all soon. And E I will see you very very very soon!! YAY

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So I was informed by Erin that she was sick of looking at my last entry and that I needed to post so I am sitting here trying to think of what to write about.

I put my iTunes on because I can't ever write in dead silence. The song that came on first was Nickel Back- If today was your last day. And I sarted thinking what if today was my last day? ( ( Read more... )

 Thursday came and it was finally time for all my hard work to start paying off!!  I was running some errands when Jason texted to say the shirts were done. I was super excited to go pick them up so I shot right over there since I wasn't far anyways. They turned out exactly how I planned so I was very happy.  I next went to check on the trophies ( Read more... )

The concern in your voices and faces made me feel loved but also proved that there was something wrong and that I was sad enough for the world to notice. I don't like the world knowing I am weak and broken but I also didn't have the energy to hide it.  Dustin was also worried. He asked me if he could come keep me company and cuddle with me to make ( Read more... )

I was feeling guilty and un-easy about leaving my mom to deal with my brother on her own. She said it was fine tho and that Tom was on his way over. This didn't make me feel any better but I needed to get out of there before suffocated. Plus  going to a fundraiser for a local who had cancer could be just the "GOOD" I needed to do to make me feel ( Read more... )

Will this pain ever end??????????

I got a phone call tonight from Jake's sister (Jake was my brothers best friend all trough highschool and we have known him and his family since I was lie 4 I think) She asked for help she said " my brother is off with your brother killing himself!" She said they are off doing drugs that Jake had been bad for a ( Read more... )