"You will feel a mild tingling sensation, followed by death."

[heinleinfan]

Well, there wasn't actual death.  Would that murder was just a teensy bit more legal, there might have been

Comments

[reckless_blues]

WHY WOULD YOU USE THAT

WHY WOULD YOU MANUFACTURE THAT?

[tijuanagringo]

thrilling and exciting and disturbing and all kinds of OMG WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT oh yes very Well DONE

[rayaso]

Can you imagine what the product development conference on that must have been like? Who would think that was a good idea, and who would actually use it?

[sinnamongirl]

I'm laughing so hard. SO HARD. That guy I wrote about last week, that I couldn't remember his name so called him Colin? We once had a weird discussion about Icy Hot, where somehow he thought I was making fun of him for trying to jack off with Icy Hot, when in reality I was like "well everyone tries it once right?" But it's SUCH A HORRIBLE IDEA. If some dude sprang that on me, I'd be out of there too.

Side note, it took me quite some time to find out I was allergic to latex. I just figured I was doing it wrong, or something, and your granddaddy of all STDs comment reminded me of that. Turns out the burning/itching/discomfort feeling wasn't me being bad at sex or catching random STDs, but a latex allergy. Go figure.

Excellent entry!

[fodschwazzle]

Noted: Fire and Ice is a bad idea for a condom. I'm crossing out that idea for the next lineup at Trojan, but what do you think of "Wood Glue?" Catchy, no? Get it? Catchy?

I'll see myself out now. Hilarious piece.