I'm still dead, and y'all are still funny.

Well, that's all, folks. I'm officially dead as of about 3:30PM this afternoon. Da Mama has arranged me in my favorite basket and I look like I'm posed for a Victorian death portrait. She misses me a lot but she's also glad I'm not suffering anymore (Not Da Mama's in the same boat); my quality of life has been pretty crappy since January, really ( Read more... )

I have been sleeping most of the time and wake up around 4:30AM to tell Da Mama to serve me my breakfast, and then I eat about half a teaspoon of wet food and maybe drink a little out of the bathroom sink. Then, back to my new favorite basket on Not Da Mama's side of the bed, and I wake up again when she comes home from work and eat about half a ( Read more... )

Isn't that a pip? And the dyinger I get, the less grumpy I am. I let Da Mama trim all of my tingernails, something never before accomplished except under sedation, and I let her and Not Da Mama pick me up and pet me. I am feeling very cute and I purr when they talk to me and pet me, but I'm also very sleepy and dehydrated and I'm not looking my ( Read more... )

Mischa is a cat who lives in my house. I don't know why I haven't killed him yet, but I haven't. I hate it when he eats my food, drinks my water and uses my litterbox. Even worse is when he sleeps on my bed. Anyway, he's fat, and that's not a bad thing in and of itself, but he is in denial and so there is a little website that is there to ( Read more... )

You know, I am nearly 16 years old and still the sheer evilness and greed of humans continues to amaze me. Was it really cheaper to haul dead animals all the way to West Virgnia than to cremate them properly, as agreed? And then not even to have the decency to bury them, but to leave them out to rot and cause a health hazard to wildlife and ( Read more... )

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Yesterday that horrible Ryan, da mama's brother-in-law, let me out of the house when he left for his pitiful gubmint job. Churlishly, he neglected to explain that I would not be able to get back in. What a heartless cad! I was exposed to the elements outside for hours and hours, including sunlight, clouds, and heat in the seventies and low ( Read more... )

is not allowed by anyone not-da-mama. In fact, even da mama is on thin ice when picking me up. Do not do it as it makes me annnnngry, very annnnngry. You are lucky if you retain your eyes after picking me up, because I do not like it one bit, and I do not like you one bit before you do it, and I like you even less when you do it, and then it ( Read more... )

Do not disturb me when I am in my basket. Ever. When I am in my basket, pretend it is as if you are dead. After all, this is what *I* am doing as much as possible. Pretending that you are dead, that is. I'll let you know if I need something ( Read more... )