tonight was amazing. i went with mal to daisy maes. shes great. it was fun, but rj made me feel kind of shitty. but im over it. and i looked at curt kobain books. he is beautiful. and i went home. i thought about reading the book my my psychiatrist gave me, but then daniel called. and i went to meet him at the park. and we just talked for hours. ( Read more... )

i feel worn out. like an old rag shirt that deserves to be thrown away. laying alone on the icy floor. i hate my psychiatrist. she doesnt even help. and i ate too much today. just shove your finger down my throat. while sweet nothings spew out my sore mouth. as the threads bust. your hard work went to waste. after all the pitiful time you spent. ( Read more... )

tonight was strange, but wonderful. we all went to a ranch, everyone was quite paranoid. and the feeling reflected on me. soon we were all running from cops that may have came, and i didnt want to say goodbye. never. i feel blank. like an empty sheet of paper, waiting to be used. and as your lips met mine, i trembled. my heart was confused. as if ( Read more... )

last night was quite wonderful i suppose. maybe i got too drunk. maybe because i did not eat anything yesterday. it's amazing, but i don't crave food anymore. which is perfect for my diet. i have an overwhelming feeling of skeptisism. i cant trust boys, but im hoping i can trust this one. im hoping i dont fall too fast, too hard. just to be left ( Read more... )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JIM MORRISON ( Read more... )

good news is absolutely the best. thank god for my friends. the best.best.best. anyways...i feel bad for him. he thinks everyone hates him. im not sure if he said he wishes wed all go into a room and die, he swears up and down he didnt. though in between, i cant seem to find the truth. he claims hes loosing his integrity. i dont blame him. but why ( Read more... )

im tired. warn out and fed up. with myself. im simply disappointing. constantly contradicting myself. hoping for something that will never be. but today was quite exhilarating. i love the mountains. they set my mind to a different state. which is nice. someone talked to him and told him something i said. jealousy is definitely over rated. and i ( Read more... )

i feel lost. as if ive sold my soul to the devil, for simple cents that mean absolutely nothing. my moods seem to hit me like an unexpecting hurricane..cold and hard. i absolutely hate it. more than anything in this horrid world. but there is nothing i can do. but sit back and watch my life fly by. one empty seat with my name on it, but it just ( Read more... )

was it really necessary to ignore me tonight? i would hope not. but apparently to you, it was. but seriously, that is fine. i did have fun. even though we didnt speak. so please dont flatter yourself. youre a man whore and thats all i have to say. but even though its been a long time since sparks have even flew between us, i still think. think what ( Read more... )

my hands smell of the left over glaze from dunkin donuts. the toffee cigarettes are amazing. the cool air filled my lungs, helped me to exhale the bad thoughts. cleanse my insides of negativity. return my brain to a serene state of mind. for those few moments. where it felt as if i was a child again. like i had no cares. just the calm snow. the out ( Read more... )